Ask Lemmy

Its so annoying question sometimes, "how are you". I dont want to start conversation about it and i dont want other person to worry. Buts its also polite so you cant really do anything about it and alternative would likely just be they dont say anything at all which would be cold. I hate lying or being expected to just go through the motions.

It is infuriating. I've taken to answering the question more literal. "How" am I? Well, it depends who you ask but the leading scientific consensus is that our known universe began to take shape in what's known as the great expansion. And then...

You gotta make people learn to stop asking you that.

I don't know what your job is but I just either ignore the question immediately moving on, or give a short honest answer. I work at a servo though and that might not work.

Breathing is the answer that gets the best response for me.

"I am enveloped by the cold embrace of the void"

I stopped saying I'm good. I just kinda shrug. If they ask how it's going, I tell them it hasn't stopped, and that's supposedly a good thing so...eh.

I hated that question when I worked at jobs where I got yelled at by customers.

People in this thread have made good suggestions about how you can be a tad more honest while also keeping things brief and polite. I found this surprisingly effective in making me feel less hollow, but something that really helped me was having friends who I could be completely honest with when they asked how I was doing.

You might not have friends like that. Certainly, I have found that when I'm tired and depressed is when I am most distant from would-be friends, and there have been times when I have effectively had to build up a support network from scratch (which is especially difficult when depressed). Or you may have friends who you hold at arm's length because you don't want to burden them with how you're feeling. I may be projecting here, but when I have been depressed in the past, I end up feeling like I'm almost "infectious", and I end up withdrawing. If you relate to this at all, try to resist the instinct to isolate. Try your best to put yourself in situations where you could meet people, such as if any hobbies you have had (or considered) have a social component to them. If you're starting from nothing (which I'm assuming you are, given your aforementioned loneliness), a large chunk of forcing yourself to engage with things will feel like a chore, but in my experience, that's the only way out (ideally paired with professional support, if available)

"Anyone else here feel like that? If so, how do y'all cope?"

My honest answer to that is either "I don't know if I am coping", or "solidarity". My above response may sound like I'm relatively coping, but in many ways I'm not. The times when I feel like I'm most achieving what I need to in life are often the times I feel most exhausted. In a way, it would be nice if I could think of myself as struggling due to some innate brokenness, but there are so many people struggling in the same way we are that it's abundantly clear that our material conditions are the problem. It's depressing to see how many people feel the same as I do. But it doesn't make me feel less alone, and that feeling is something I cling to. It's something, at least.

Just give a number out of ten.

Nope. I'm good 👍

I've mostly said "good" or "alright" or some of that cause if I tell people how I really feel, they suggest institutionalizing me

It is tiresome. Its not going to be good unless modern society changes in some extremely significant ways in teh US at least.

I'm far from good and lying about it constantly is killing me

I suggest you consider talking to your doctor or a mental health professional. If you feel a long way from ‘good’ some professional assistance might help improve your way.