this post was submitted on 18 Jan 2025
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[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Wow, as a gay dude reading the comments here, straight dating sucks, why is it even like that?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 22 hours ago* (last edited 22 hours ago)

Bumble used to be different back in the day. I tried it when it was going down the tubes.

I think part of the problem is that the matching is fairly superficial, so while you know a little about the person, most of the details amount to their face, 1-3 hobbies, and their ass.

The women I matched with that I went out with were awkward and felt forced. In the end, I ended up falling in love with a close guy friend that I had known for years.

If bumble wants success, they should allow for much deeper Q&A, longer response times, a tweaked algorithm that matches people based off hobbies and passions, and an AD section that allows people to privately put in stuff that they like after dark. Info that isn't shared with their matches, but helps make people match better with people like them.

As for straight dating though, idk. I feel like people should probably be avoiding apps and meeting organically through stuff like biking groups, climbing groups, skiing events, big dance venues, etc. it fosters much more organic connections.

I don't participate in bar culture that much, but the difference between the gay bars I've gone to and the straighter college-y bars feels immense. The former is much more social with a pinch of kink, the latter is where people are getting absolutely blitzed without much dialogue over loud music. It's an extremely small sample size, but I can't help but wonder if it's part of a larger trend when it comes to meeting people and how portions of society meet and date. Perhaps there are bars where single straight men and women meet over 1-2 drinks and talk, but I haven't seen any so far.

Overall, I think the Internet and cars (decreasing population density and increasing the space between third places) has had a dramatically negative impact on love and friendships in places like the US.

[–] [email protected] 280 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (8 children)

sometimes you bring on a ceo just to get some controversial thing done. they can eat the blame and then leave

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 day ago (5 children)

You bring in a female CEO to take the fall. The narrative gets to be about her weak leadership.

Ellen Pao wasn’t even CEO for a full year. Reddit clearly put her in charge to take the heat - which they knew would be ample based on her sex alone.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 day ago

So replacing a woman with a woman, and then bringing back the original woman is what made you think the fall person had to be a woman? Reddit may have done so.. but I find it hard to believe this was sex/gender related. Otherwise it would have made more sense to replace the woman with a man, have him take the fall and go back to Whitney so it made her / the company look better long term.

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[–] [email protected] 65 points 1 day ago (6 children)
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[–] [email protected] 91 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

I'm embarrassed it took me so long to realize this. Somebody explained that to me recently, within the context of a conversation about layoffs. That CEO had no prior CEO experience, was only there for less than a year, and was part of the board of directors. In hindsight it seems so obvious.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Exactly this, they are usually young too and they know their only job is to fire ppl and/or do decisions that will make most if not all unhappy. I have only seen it once my self but a lot of friends went through that at their company.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago

the sad part is the act they put on coming in. many at the company will think this is a real hire that will bring about good cultural change

[–] [email protected] 38 points 2 days ago

So like a corporate sin eater?

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[–] [email protected] 123 points 2 days ago (8 children)

Is the signature feature that women initiate or was that some other app?

[–] JackbyDev 14 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Yeah. I used the BFF version for a bit to try and find folks in my area to hang out with. It's a really horrible app. When someone messages you, you have 24 hours to respond. If you don't then the two of you get unmatched. I can understand something like unlatching after some time period without responding, but just 24 hours? Ick.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

We have shareholders to consider! Now get on with your relationship before we unnecessarily cut you off.

Brought to you by Match, "You're next Bumble, you think they fucked up Bumble already!? Just you wait!'

[–] JackbyDev 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

This just gave me the (shit post) idea of an app where VC funders can swipe on projects they want to invest in or not

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago

That would make a great parody sketch.

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[–] [email protected] 127 points 2 days ago (29 children)

There's a big problem with the "women message first" gimmick, and it's that they just don't.

If they don't simply let the match expire, you either get a shitty Gif, or something along the lines of "hey."

Maybe one in ten will actually send a message that genuinely starts a conversation.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 day ago

That ratio was much higher for me. I'd say about 70% sent a message. Probably work on the profile, make it more interesting? If that is now really gone I'm not sure whether I ever install that App anymore, it was nice not having to come up with first messages with questionable outcome...

[–] [email protected] 122 points 2 days ago (32 children)

it would work better if it was "women swipe first'. men can look at and swipe the women who swiped them already. this solves two problems:

  1. women are not seen by anyone they don't want to be
  2. men don't need to spend hours swiping hundreds of women

please give me 1 million dollars

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 day ago

That's the premium feature in pretty much every dating app. You get to see who likes you but you have to pay the money to find out if anyone swiped on you at all.

They imply that lots of people swiped on you but you don't actually know until after you've given the money.

So basically your plan is to just remove the con part which I'm all in favor of.

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago

Maybe it's you guys, but I never really had this issue.

[–] [email protected] 41 points 2 days ago (5 children)

you either get a shitty Gif, or something along the lines of "hey."

So same result as when men message first.

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[–] [email protected] 128 points 2 days ago (4 children)

I literally saw so many profiles being like “I don’t message first”, like do you even understand what the app you’ve signed up for is?

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