this post was submitted on 18 Dec 2024
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The Onion

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The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

I love how it's an open secret that basically everyone fucking loves Luigi Mangione and we don't even know if he did it.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 hours ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 14 points 6 hours ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 hours ago

Indeed, he could have just gotten a small fries.

[–] [email protected] 38 points 10 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago) (1 children)

how long has trump being prosecuted? Years and years and years....Luigi should run for president, effective immediately so they have to delay the verdicts...

[–] [email protected] 81 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

if Mr. Mangione had spent more time pulling on his bootstraps and less time feeling sorry for himself and obsessing over his debilitating chronic back pain that UnitedHealthcare refused to cover treatment of – for I’m sure for very good reasons – he might have one day helmed a parasitic corporation of his own. Sadly, he chose another path.”

Love the satire, but one important point: Luigi didn't have UHC insurance. So if he did do this, it wasn't even because of a personal grudge - it was to strike back at the system in general that fucked him over.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 12 hours ago (2 children)

Huh. I haven’t seen that factoid before.

It distances the motive from personal vendetta. It provides support to the narrative that he did this for principles, and not revenge.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

Looked it up to double check, as it's what I remembered reading.

The New York Police Department told CBS News that there are no indications that Mangione was a UnitedHealthcare customer.

Officials believe Mangione may have targeted the company because of its status as the largest health insurer in the United States.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 10 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago) (2 children)

I would imagine it might be because United denies claims more than most (all?) other major insurance providers. I mean, it could be because of that, if Luigi did it, but he's innocent so this is purely hypothetical.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 hours ago

They were absolutely the best choice to target, the worst of the worst.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 hours ago
[–] [email protected] 153 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

Now this is an Onion headline.

[–] [email protected] 84 points 17 hours ago* (last edited 17 hours ago) (1 children)

Right? Solid satire, but just to give credit where it's due, this is from hard-drive.net which is a gaming/tech focused spin-off of a music satire site called The Hard Times. They consistently crack me up so just wanted to take the opportunity to credit them.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

Point taken. I meant Onion in the same way you say Kleenex instead of tissue. It’s now a general term for any satirical news article.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 15 hours ago

Oh no worries, I totally get it! I was just linking for the sake of anyone reading the comments because those are both quality sites that are worth reading. I've found the name of this community can be kind of misleading, so it's not uncommon for people to be unaware of how many quality satire sites are out there besides The Onion.

[–] [email protected] 58 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

Ugh... I don't think he deserves the death penalty

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 hours ago

Deserve, by what standard? Moral, religious, legal? How do we measure deserve

[–] [email protected] 57 points 17 hours ago

Cruel and unusual punishment.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 17 hours ago* (last edited 16 hours ago) (3 children)

There are plenty of toll evaders, homeless, minorities, and otherwise lesser people whose lives you could have taken, and were that the case I would not feel so inclined to mete out such a harsh sentence but in this instance you leave me no choice but to impose the harshest ruling possible.

Never change, The Onion, never change!

Edit: alright, I assumed it was the Onion based on the community. But sure, it was some other site.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 17 hours ago

You mean hard-drive?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 17 hours ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 12 hours ago

Bold of you to assume my drive gets hard....

[–] [email protected] 3 points 16 hours ago* (last edited 16 hours ago) (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

It's a sub called the onion brother, people assuming the articles posted being from the onion is the default

[–] [email protected] 5 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

Half of the posts aren't even from the onion here

[–] [email protected] 3 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

But the community name sure is the onion right? So if someone comes in here and assumes the article is from the onion then that's a pretty reasonable assumption right?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 13 hours ago

I thought so too but then I counted. Apparently there are a lot more satire sites that are gaining popularity.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 13 hours ago
[–] [email protected] 31 points 17 hours ago
[–] [email protected] 10 points 17 hours ago

That's Vader-level "I have altered the deal. Pray I do not alter it further."

[–] [email protected] 8 points 16 hours ago

A fate almost worse than death.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 14 hours ago

hahaha spot on

[–] [email protected] 2 points 17 hours ago

Meh, letting him off too easily. There's no way he survives 25 years under those conditions.