this post was submitted on 11 Dec 2024
346 points (96.5% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

27153 readers
3052 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 38 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 109 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Wish my wife would fondle my nuts daily to check whatever.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 week ago

Kick off your Sunday loose

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago

Funnily enough this would reduce cheating in men that cheat.

[–] [email protected] 95 points 1 week ago

Jokes on you, she blows afterwards so my balls are nice and tight again

[–] [email protected] 81 points 1 week ago (2 children)

While at it guys, remember that having premarital sex wears your penis out until is as thin as a pencil and you won't be able to satisfy your future wife. That is why you should save your purity for her 😇

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago

Is it possible my penis isn't small, but my partner is just an unrepentant trollop?

[–] [email protected] 66 points 1 week ago

Ummm, that only means he was pissing.

[–] [email protected] 52 points 1 week ago

Maybe he just took a leak, because pee is stored in the balls.

[–] [email protected] 38 points 1 week ago (1 children)

This is a "masturbating is cheating" person, yeah?

[–] [email protected] -4 points 1 week ago (3 children)

I mean, could be masturbating, but after coming home from being out all day?

[–] lowleveldata 25 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Boss makes a dollar, i make a dime. That's why i fap, on company time.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Please break the eye contact while doing that. Please. HR is shaking.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

He's whackin, jackin, and fappin!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago (2 children)

After the 2nd shake ya better finish the job, ya'know?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago

Fair enough

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago

That 3rd shake really is the best.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Coming home after being out coming all day

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

Like a leaky faucet. Drip... drip... drip...

[–] [email protected] 36 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Nah. The only way to know for sure is by taste.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 week ago

Personally I go by humidity and vigor

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 week ago
[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Honey, here i am for my ball check.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

Reminds me of penis inspection day in school

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 week ago

ohhhh, that's why i have such huge balls.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago

Dammit, beat me to it!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Lol that was the first thing that popped into my head too.

Don't play me like a fool

Cuz that ain't keeeeewwewwlll

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago

Certainly feels so after a while

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago

While you're there, they also have a chlorine like musk after load dump.