this post was submitted on 04 Dec 2024
250 points (97.3% liked)

Not The Onion

13564 readers
1839 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/22744169

Florida State Senator Ileana Garcia has introduced legislation to prohibit "weather modification" activities in the state.

top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 97 points 2 months ago (1 children)

So no more releasing CO2 or CH4 (chemicals) into the atmosphere then?

[–] [email protected] 74 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I wish! They worded it such that the burning of fossil fuels and other things leading to the eradication of humanity through climate change are exempt 😮‍💨

[–] [email protected] 39 points 2 months ago (1 children)

But we know for sure that these chemicals are modifying the weather!

I guess, crazy people just need to shout at clouds sometimes.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

Everyone knows it only counts if it takes 2 hours to modify the weather. Anything over that is simply God's will

[–] [email protected] 63 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I feel SO sorry for the few sane rational people in Florida some times.

[–] [email protected] 58 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 44 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

Dave Barry? But he’s hilarious!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

Come on now… there are tens of them.

[–] [email protected] 57 points 2 months ago

The same people who think humans can't alter the climate also claim that the government is controlling the weather.

[–] waggz 49 points 2 months ago (1 children)

The airlines should immediately halt service to the entire state if this goes in to effect. Why waste the time and money defending yourself against these conspiracies.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago

the injection, release, or dispersion, by any means, of a chemical, a chemical compound, a substance, or an apparatus into the atmosphere within the borders of this state for the express purpose of affecting the temperature, the weather, or the intensity of sunlight is prohibited.

it doesn't affect them.

It's stupid as fuck but is slightly saved by being worded as to be utterly and completely toothless.

[–] [email protected] 46 points 2 months ago (4 children)

Prohibit "weather modification".

So are they banning Sharpies?

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] [email protected] 37 points 2 months ago

And again I'm grateful that I'm not from the US. I know dumb people are everywhere but you clearly have loudest.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 2 months ago (1 children)

"Fun" fact, "chemtrails" were used in the Soviet Union in 86' right after the Chernobyl disaster to stop a radioactive cloud going to Moscow. They dumped a shitload of dry ice to make it rain. It rained over small villages which caused people there to get radiation sickness.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Fun "fact," this was the inspiration for Prince's Purple Rain.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

That's the most "fun" fact I heard in a long time

[–] [email protected] 30 points 2 months ago (1 children)

So, a plane that dumps water onto a fire is dispersing a chemical (water) with the express purpose of controlling the temperature. So firefighting planes would be illegal under this bill.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Sure is a good thing that florida doesn't have forest fires... RIGHT?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

Well yeah, they rake their forests

[–] [email protected] 27 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)
[–] [email protected] 25 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Does this affect Jewish space lasers at all? Asking for a friend

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

Yes, but not other faiths' space lasers, I heard the rastafarian space laser is totally dope

[–] [email protected] 24 points 2 months ago (4 children)

I feel sorry for all the entrepreneurs and employees in the chemtrail industry.

Imagine that you're flying a chemtrailer and then a wild $10000 fee appears out of nowhere, and there's a shark. Are you going to choose the shark? Nobody would. I guess a fine of $1000 is just the cost of doing chemtrail business now.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

"I'm trying to make gay frogs."

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago
[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I don't know what chems you've been huffing, but they seem fun, so please share some 😄

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Puff Puff Pass!

I'm after you

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

"Pass the dutchie on the left hand side" isn't just a Tim Hortons slogan

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Imagine every commercial jet that leaves a contrail now having to go to court.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

"911, what is your emergency?"

"THERE IS A PLANE IN THE SKY SPREADING CHEMICALS OVER MY HOUSE"

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 months ago (2 children)

And here am I remebering the last hurricane devastating Florida, thinking: "You probably need some weather manipulation more then others..."

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 months ago

The bill was filed on November 20 by Garcia, a Republican

Was anyone really unsure of her party affiliation by this point in the article?

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago

So shut down all coal and gas power plants.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago

wow I didn't expect this to pass before the anti-Sasquatch legislation did but here we are

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago

People can't afford home insurance, seniors are being driven from their condos but let's focus on a law addressing conspiracy theories. Next up, a law protecting big foot.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago

Nothing else to do at work but this. Must be nice.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)

These bills are always branded as being "anti-chemtrail," because it gets more clicks but they are banning a real thing that actually exists. The idea of chemically altering the atmosphere to address global warming is something that scientists have seriously considered and experimented with, but the general consensus is that while the concept is possible, the risks outweigh the benefits. On the other hand, there are certain irresponsible groups of techbros like Make Sunsets which have taken it into their own hands and have been releasing a bunch of sulfur into the stratosphere, to widespread criticism from actual scientists, while they try to present themselves as an environmentalist charity.

So there is a real thing that they're targeting, but also, it's not going to do anything since the restrictions only apply within a given jurisdiction. At most, it might prevent certain universities and such from conducting tests (which isn't an inherently bad thing given the dangers).

What it comes down to is basically the same formula as the whole "eating bugs" and "15 minute cities" things. Somebody gets paid to come up with a solution to climate change that doesn't involve interfering with capitalism in any way, they come up with some out of the box idea that might help a little - then reactionaries latch onto that, because as they all "know," climate change isn't real, so whatever weird idea anyone comes up with must be the real reason why the global elites are spreading the myth.

Of course, conservatives probably aren't concerned about this concept for the same reasons scientists are, and I'm sure there's conspiracy theories out there that do go the whole chemtrail route with it, but hey. They kinda sorta accidentally have a little bit of a point on this one.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

Does this prohibit people from shooting at the clouds to scare them away?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

The "Weather Modification Activities" bill sets out that "the injection, release, or dispersion, by any means, of a chemical, a chemical compound, a substance, or an apparatus into the atmosphere within the borders of this state for the express purpose of affecting the temperature, the weather, or the intensity of sunlight is prohibited."

So, taking it at the closely-adjacent letter like how Repub trash interprets everything, all industry in the entire state must cease, including power generation.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Nope, it says "express purpose" meaning that my doomsday machine is legal because it's purpose is to... Uhh... Make snow cones! The earthquakes and volcanoes are just a side effect.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago
[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

Wait till the Samsquantch hears about this

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I mean, that's fine. No one is doing that anyway, so it won't affect anything. It's like banning post-birth abortion.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Hope it passes so everyone flying a jet plane over Florida that leaves a contrail or agricultural spraying has to go to court to get the fine dismissed.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›