this post was submitted on 18 Nov 2024
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[–] [email protected] 298 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Ballet stars, and their notoriously poor balance.

[–] [email protected] 46 points 6 days ago (1 children)

He seems to have astonishing balance for someone with one leg

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[–] [email protected] 118 points 6 days ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 35 points 5 days ago

"haha no problem, this is polonium tea"

[–] [email protected] 16 points 5 days ago

don't worry this is just normal tea I offer before I throw you off building

[–] [email protected] 174 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (4 children)

A nice window to the future for US citizens critical of their government... a window ripe for defenestration...

If I die mysteriously from a fall, please refer to this comment.

[–] [email protected] 80 points 6 days ago (7 children)

Actually you will probably die in a Tesla whose doors do not open https://www.msn.com/en-gb/news/world/friends-trapped-in-tesla-burned-to-death-when-electronic-doors-failed-to-open-after-crash/ar-AA1tWPYH

Or which just hits you: https://www.washingtonpost.com/technology/2023/06/10/tesla-autopilot-crashes-elon-musk/

I mean now where Teslas are probably the next mandatory car for state officials. And after some "Think Tank" will be pretty sure that all the saftey fuss about autopilots is bad for the economy.

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 6 days ago

They'll just "find drugs" in your car. Local police forces will be able to link information profiles on you to license plate readers. They'll get an alert for a "liberal" coming into their town and pull you over under some small premise like you were "swerving."

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[–] [email protected] 180 points 6 days ago (2 children)

Stay on the ground floor, Russians.

[–] [email protected] 55 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Heart attacks happens on every floor.

[–] [email protected] 45 points 6 days ago (1 children)

So do poisonings, and shootings but we're just mitigating circumstances here lol.

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[–] [email protected] 25 points 6 days ago

"Tragically fell from the ground floor balcony and landed on two bullets to the back of the head."

[–] [email protected] 86 points 6 days ago (1 children)

I mean ballet dancers are known for being klutzy and prone to tripping over their own feet. Right?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 days ago

Happens all the time, it's why they recommend you don't practice ballet on slippery roofs.

[–] [email protected] 128 points 6 days ago (2 children)

They don't have any budget to do it differently or it's a power move, like, it's not official but you know it?

[–] [email protected] 180 points 6 days ago (4 children)

It's a calling card. Everyone knows what happened, not a single soul will comment on it. Unless they fancy being the next up for flight lessons.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 6 days ago

I wonder how Red Bull sales are in Russia.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 6 days ago (2 children)

What do you think Trump's calling card will be? McDonalds induced heart attack?

[–] [email protected] 23 points 6 days ago

Government issued tesla drove into a lake and drowned the occupants.

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[–] [email protected] 99 points 6 days ago (20 children)
[–] [email protected] 40 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

You're just blessed enough not to recognize gallows humor. We're actually jealous of you.

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[–] [email protected] 63 points 6 days ago (2 children)

Russia be slippery. My heart goes out to these rare brave souls in a land of cowards.

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[–] [email protected] 43 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (8 children)

So many people fall from their windows or balconies in Russia that I am surprised they are still legal

[–] [email protected] 22 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Someone pushed for a new law outlawing them, but the efforts ended after he accidentally fell off a balcony to his death.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 days ago

his proposal had quite the impact, they say.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 5 days ago (6 children)

It's to make the point that they were murdered. It's a fear tactic with plausible deniability.

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 days ago

they are still legal

People?!

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[–] [email protected] 63 points 6 days ago (1 children)

I imagine Russia is like the Star Wars setting, lots of crazy steep drops and they never install railings.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 6 days ago (6 children)

The platform where Darth Vader confronts Luke has railings, so they clearly have the parts, tools, and a guy who installs them. Maybe he's just held up on Level B?

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[–] [email protected] 52 points 6 days ago (2 children)

In another article emergency services responded with this gem.

He died a natural death. It’s not a crime.

should we be worried

[–] [email protected] 26 points 6 days ago (3 children)

cause of death: the natural impact of cement on the body experienced after a perfectly natural fall

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[–] [email protected] 43 points 6 days ago (5 children)
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[–] [email protected] 15 points 5 days ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 48 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (5 children)

This just piles up on the reasons Russia needs to be denuclearisased, putin getting ousted, democracy installed and so on.

Good news Russias economy is in the toilet and someone has started flushing already, Ukrain will prevail and hopefully we'll have peace one day.

[–] [email protected] 51 points 6 days ago (9 children)

More realistically, he'll probably die of old age or be ousted by someone younger and more exciting to the wealthy elite that keep Putin in power. Real change may come after that, but a change in leadership is not going to immediately fix long term issues like corruption, wealth disparity, etc.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 6 days ago (2 children)

I think they will become a Chinese vassal.

I don't know exactly what that'd look like, but the pure economic/political dynamics make it seem kinda inevitable.

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[–] [email protected] 45 points 6 days ago (1 children)

"in an apparent suicide, putin critic ________ shot himself in the back 20 times. more at 11"

[–] [email protected] 33 points 6 days ago (2 children)

He's gonna do it again at 11? Damn, that's super sus.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 days ago

Ah the ol’ defenestration situation.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 6 days ago (2 children)

How long before windows make it to the statistics of average deaths per-year in Russia?

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 days ago

What? No window?

[–] [email protected] 22 points 6 days ago (2 children)

Again? That's another reason to uninstall all windows. Especially in Russia.

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