Ask Lemmy

A few years ago, I invited a guy over and we ended up playing DDR on PS1. I had the window shades drawn because I live next to a road, have large windows, and I don't want strangers seeing me flail around like an elephant seal having a seizure.

My mother dropped by unexpectedly and I opened the door, red, panting, and sweaty, with a strange man on my couch who was trying to look casual.

Tried to blurt out that it was a misunderstanding, but she side-eyed me and left quickly.

At least she always texts me before she drops by now? I'm ace, so, for me, it's particularly mortifying.

I have a picture of that moment:

Was driving my young daughter to school and she threw up her breakfast all over herself. So I quickly pulled over, grabbed some paper towels and a spare sweatshirt that was in the backseat, opened her door and pulled her outer layer up over her head and off. Right then a car swerved off the road and pretty much skidded to a stop on the shoulder ahead of me. As I wiped the remaining barf off my daughter I could see the woman in the car totally scoping me out in her mirror and with a phone to her head. I just ignored this until we were finished and I got the sweatshirt on her. At some point she must have realized nothing Amber Alert worthy was going on because she left.

I used to help with training sessions at a previous company. We had a computer lab type room, people would spend half a day in there and then I'd lock up after. There were two doors to two different parts of an access-controlled building, so the main door was a key lock, but the rear door was badge access.

I locked the main door, turned to leave through the rear door, saw that a lady had come back through the rear door to get her purse. No big, that's the door we're going through to leave anyway, so I move to follow her out.

I turn off the lights by muscle memory as I reach for the door which scares her. She lets out a yelp. I'm apologizing as I move to flick the lights back on

At that exact moment someone came through the front door with their key and saw us standing In close proximity, in a dark room with locked doors. I was already moving to turn the lights back on, so they flick on and we both look guilty as fuck because I'm an awkward IT guy trying to fast talk explain this isn't what it looks like and she's got "just got jump scared by this asshole" face.

The only thing that saved me was that I was friends with the HR manager that had just walked in, and about 40 years younger than the lady with the purse. I'm sure had it been any other of the women in the class I'd have been in an HR meeting.

Two other coworkers were caught getting it on in that room a few months later.

This is small potatoes but pretty often I ride my motorcycle to go to green spaces to go for a run. Which means people sometimes see me step off my bike and just start taking off my pants and stuff. (Spoiler: I'm wearing running gear underneath my protective gear.)

I can't remember what I was playing in VR (maybe Gorilla Tag?) but my sister walked into my room and thought I was playing VR porn because it looked like I was jerking off two dudes when observed from outside of VR. lol

If I'm going to be playing VR porn, I shut and lock my door. I also don't wear pants.

So, I walk into the laundry room and my stepsister had her head stuck in the dryer, and then I tripped, and while I was fal... (Obvious /s)