this post was submitted on 25 Oct 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] [email protected] 96 points 1 month ago (1 children)

1950s jello cake ass food crime. Wtf

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 month ago

Yes, I'd like one slice of the cake-ass please. No box, I'm gonna eat it here.

[–] [email protected] 75 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 weeks ago

I heard this in Dexter's voice.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 weeks ago

Presented in the new fashion of choice: Derelicte.

[–] [email protected] 44 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 38 points 1 month ago

Babe, come get a slice of egg loaf before it gets cold!

[–] [email protected] 33 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

As a child growing up in the foothills of Grenyarnia, life was a simple, bucolic idyll. Every day the sun would shine through my modest little window, and I'd wake to the gentle scent of the titan arums, as well as the somewhat more pungent, but equally welcome, aroma of the Svenborgian staff bringing me my breakfast.

Oh what a repast it always was! The earthy notes of the Organic sixième presse de pied grape juice! The ever-unexpected delights of caviar-infused macarons! And to top it all off, of course, was my favorite, the delightful egg dish! The name is a bit of a mouthful, Sot den Arschlächer et ass eng Omelette, but my family and I always just called them our beloved Arschloch Omelettes. I never quite took down the recipe, as our staff mysteriously disappeared one night, coincidentally along with some of the tableware and a few million kroner of what mummy and daddy called the loose change. C'est la vie! You will be missed, Griselda! Or was it Greta? Or Bob?

Still, through my years of studying the culinary arts, with literally hours spent every month living and breathing the finest recipes and influencers, I think I've come close. My life coach and herbalist both tell me they've never tasted anything like it. Please enjoy my most favorite thing, and maybe you'll become an Arschloch lover like me...

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

How do you nominate for comment of the year?

[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 month ago

They say anyone can cook. But that doesn't mean that anyone should cook.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Nothing a little smoked paprika can't fix.

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

The only problem I have with this is if I eat this many eggs in one sitting I will be on bed for the next couple of days.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

This is obviously meant to be a cake. You shouldn't eat an entire cake.

In one sitting.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 4 weeks ago

YOU'RE NOT MY PARENTS

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 month ago (3 children)

I don't even understand what I'm looking at.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 month ago (2 children)

an omelett, but the eggs haven't been stirred

I find this incredibly funny, still laughing, yet I'm not sure why

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Oh, ok, I thought it was the various ingredients. I zoomed in and finally figured out it was merely different shots of the same thing.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

I just keep imagining the faint outlines of the yolks and I burst into a fit of giggles.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 month ago

Just eggs cooked hard in a skillet.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 month ago

I just fucked up a french omelet and now i don't feel so bad about it

[–] [email protected] 19 points 4 weeks ago

That... Actually takes some skill to do

[–] [email protected] 18 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

Weird thing to fuck but ok

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

That's not how that slang phrase works, and you know it!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 weeks ago (4 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 weeks ago

Please keep your distance for the next farty hours

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 month ago

What a bold decision to put yolks in that egg white omelet.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 month ago (2 children)

is there supposed to be a problem with this?

[–] [email protected] 33 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Only of you insist it's an omelette

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

What would you even call that mass? A hard-boiled dozen?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

hard-boiled hexegg. It's better in German, hartgekoctsechsei.

edit - ignore me, I thoght it was a half dozen - add a doppel in there maybe.

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 14 points 4 weeks ago

Cut it into cubes and stick them with toothpicks and you can lie and say it's a Barbarian hors d'oeuvre or some shit.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The Germans would call this an Eierkuchen

[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 weeks ago

It's only missing every ingredient except Eier.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

Isn't that just poached eggs that have been jellified together?

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago (2 children)

That's called a tortilla, right?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

Missing garlic, onion and patato, but pretty close to it.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

I'd refund any tortillas if they were like this.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 weeks ago

This is .... poetry...

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 weeks ago

Gaston makes fried eggs.

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