this post was submitted on 14 Oct 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

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If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] [email protected] 134 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (3 children)

Classmate in 7th grade while warming up for gym class stretched easily that way. One kid made the offhand comment "Hey, you can suck your own dick!" and flexible kid immediately yelled "SHUT UP!". Which told us all he'd done it.

[–] [email protected] 48 points 3 days ago (2 children)

For the curious, I did know someone who said they could do it. We didn't have long conversations about it or anything but he said all you need to know.

"It's more like sucking dick than getting your dick sucked."

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Sounds like a win win. Maybe I should work on getting more flexible.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 days ago

Hey, aim for the moon, if you miss you still hit the stars! Or something.

Just please, please take it slow and stretch a LOT and don't force it, you can seriously maim your back if you force it. There's probably some yoga exercises you can look up online.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 days ago

Makes perfect sense! Like doing 69. Mouth grabs attention over genitals.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 days ago (1 children)

If I could suck my own dick, I wouldn't ever leave the house.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 days ago

Pairs well with a choking fetish

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 days ago

I'm not jealous. You are!

[–] [email protected] 80 points 4 days ago (4 children)

Anon messed up not removing a couple of ribs beforehand

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 days ago (14 children)

I can't believe this old hoax is still being circulated. This goes back pre-internet as one of the first viral memes.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 days ago

Shhh. It reveals our age.

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 days ago

He removed the ribs so he could eat them.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I mean, it's all relative to the size of your steeple

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 days ago (1 children)

So you’re saying I’d need to remove 4-5 ribs?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 days ago

You sound like you can't smell your own shit on your knees

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago
[–] [email protected] 25 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Suckin that dick at an egregerious angle

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 days ago

I cackled laughed in a Walmart just now. Can't explain that one lol

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago

This shit ain't nothing to me man

[–] [email protected] 16 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Pfft, sucking your own dick is amateur. Real men toss their own salad.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 days ago

Sounds like a qualification for Cirque du Soleil.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 4 days ago (9 children)

Is that something other men want to do? Even my dog had no interest in it and he was easily flexible enough.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 3 days ago (2 children)

They say it's more like sucking a dick vs getting a bj apparently.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 days ago

Sounds like a win-win in my book.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 days ago

A 50 50 will cost you about tree fiddy in these parts. So they say....

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 days ago

Yes. I know peeps and it’s apparently awesome.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Did you remove your dog’s balls though? That might have an effect.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 days ago

I wasn't the one who did it, and it didn't keep him from licking other dogs...

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 days ago

I mean I heard a kid broke his neck trying back in the late 90s

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 days ago

I have tried before whether I could do it, the answer was no, and I don't feel I am missing out on anything.

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 days ago

Back, not neck.

... I'm told.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 days ago (2 children)
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[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 days ago

Wanna be hip? Gotta suck your own dick.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Dude probably thought he was a h0rs3 character.

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