Not The Onion

11929 readers

2 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

Links to news stories from...
...credible sources, with...
...their original headlines, that...
...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 1 year ago

MODERATORS

[email protected]

144

Fighting Sexual Temptation? Play Badminton, Hong Kong Tells Teenagers. (www.nytimes.com)

submitted 2 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

14 comments fedilink hide all child comments

top 14 comments

sorted by: hot top controversial new old

[–] [email protected] 50 points 2 months ago

It's true. Badminton players will never ever get laid.

[–] [email protected] 36 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Want to play badminton? I brought a shuttlecock

[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I'd hit that.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

The guy who wants to play badminton? Yeah. Everybody would hit them.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Why are you fighting sexual temptation?

Stop fighting it and give already. Sexual temptation is awesome.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I was going to make a tease and denial joke, but the humor came from making very weird sexual kinks seem normal, and going into graphic detail.

The more I added to that joke, the less funny it became, and sounded more like I was heavily advocating for bondage, chastity, tickling, and nuns.

Then the whole joke just got weird. Look man, I know I Lost My Mind, but even I have limits to my crazy.

So lets all pretend I said something funny instead of......whatever this is.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

OK, now you just have to post the comment

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Not a good idea to tell this to teenagers without also teaching them about contraceptives and protection.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 2 months ago

You should teach them that stuff anyway, ideally before they are teenagers. People are going to get frisky, it's inevitable, at least they should be able to protect themselves.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago

Go on, then, give them the contraceptives and protection lecture

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago

have they tried graham crackers

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago

So if I want to play less Badminton and I cannot resist the urge, I ought to have more sex. 🤔

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Is this why China is a regular powerhouse in badminton? So much temptation!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

While on a bad mint I would also not get laid... Alright, I'll see myself out...