this post was submitted on 15 Jun 2024
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Funny

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[–] [email protected] 82 points 5 months ago (7 children)

I hate when the far right says, "Who's gonna pay for it?!" Referring to any program that would help the poor or needy... What would Jesus do? Asshole.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 5 months ago

There's a bill in the Canadian senate right now for UBI, and yeah, this is what the conservatives are saying.

For anyone interested in the bill: https://www.ubiworks.ca/guaranteed-livable-basic-income

[–] [email protected] 13 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Jesus would make sure they are tested for drugs before curing their leprosy.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

how do we know they don't want to stay leprous ?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 months ago (1 children)

What would Jesus do? Asshole.

This is going to be my go-to response from now on.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago
[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

Did Jesus ever teach anyone to fish? I remember the story where he just gave people fish. 🤔

So it seems Jesus is only good with feeding people for a day, instead of the rest of their lives. 😌

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

we need 365 Jesuses

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

Good answer, and maybe. But you can be sure the magic would help, and even without magic he would help.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Yes, the magic of an impromptu potluck

Literally the whole point of this "miracle" was to show how if everyone pools resources, there's more than enough to go around

But that didn't fit the message the Romans were going for, so they magic'd it up

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Jesus would make a dupping glitch with food

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago

when the far right says, "Who's gonna pay for it?!"

It's funny, the obvious answer is "rich people who have magnitudes more money", but plenty of poor stupid people respond "BuT tHeY aLrEaDy PaY mOrE" as if someone with 100000x as much money as you should get off paying maybe pays 100 or 1000x when you're paying 25% and they're paying 5 or 10% of take home.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

When they're asking genuinely, I don't mind giving a genuine reply. But when it becomes clear they're doing the online equivalent of filibustering? "You, you specifically are going to pay for it, and I hope it makes you go bankrupt."

[–] [email protected] 53 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Sorry, feeding you might make more money for the shareholders 2 years from now but not feeding you makes money for the shareholders today.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 5 months ago

I won't even be working here in 2 years, the second that bonus hits my bank account I'm taking the CEO role at a startup religion

[–] [email protected] 34 points 5 months ago (1 children)

This is heresy.

He would explain that the baker and fishermen had an inviolable right that their craftsmanship not be replicated without their permission.

[–] MajorHavoc 18 points 5 months ago

Yeah. You wouldn't download some kid's lunch of bread and fish!

[–] [email protected] 24 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

There's a conservative chud in these comments who apparently thinks this is exactly what Jesus taught.

Political satire is dead; it's impossible to satirize conservatives because for any ridiculous joke anyone can come up with, there'll be N + 1 conservatives out there going "yeah that's exactly what I believe"

[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Interestingly enough, right after feeding about 15k people, these same people tried to make Jesus their king. I mean, free food right?

And the absolute Chad just went out and retreated, refusing to involve himself in politics as he was to be already king of another kingdom

Even more interesting than that, the next day, the same people were expecting to be fed again..he clearly understood people were associating with him for material gain. He does exhort them to work for their sustenance.

But it's important to understand that at the time, Jesus was putting more focus on exhorting people to work on the pursuit of his father's kingdom and excellent deeds, declaring himself the son of god, and himself (as the word of god) living bread to be fed on

At which point most of these people lost all interest, being shocked as, as always, they suffered of literal thinking, asking themselves in disgust, "how can we eat this man's flesh?". This was the people who literally wanted him as King the day before.

This was basically all it took for everyone except the 12 apostles to leave

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Interesting take. There's the standard conservative anti-welfare message, but also very old-fashioned anti-catholicism. I guess this is from a conservative US version of Protestantism. But which denomination exactly? Or is that standard fare for evangelicals these days?

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago

“If I give all these starving people free food nobody will want to work anymore!” —Supply Side Jesus

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago (3 children)

So I have never actually understood the name of this meme. Why "supply side"? What does that mean?

[–] [email protected] 13 points 5 months ago (1 children)

It's from supply-side economics:

Supply-side economics is a macroeconomic theory postulating that economic growth can be most effectively fostered by lowering taxes, decreasing regulation, and allowing free trade.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

Ahhh, thank you.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 months ago

Supply and demand are two major parts of capitalist economic theory, Regan implimented economic relief for the supply side of the economy only. Corporations, owners, importers, and resource owners, like oil, gas, food, industries. While totally ignoring demand side, that's the working class side of the economy, if there isn't enough money in the demand side of the economy, it will eventually collapse. Which has happened several times, why are we still here and still doing this? Because were not a capitalist economy. We're a state capitalist economy. Financial institutions fail? Government bail outs, stagnating wages hurting demand? Work tax credit, still not enough money in the market? Deregulate credit lenders, payroll still can't cover basic living? SNAP program subsidized the cost of living, letting owners continue to stagnate wages while not paying enough to keep the middle class capable of participating in the market.

We've been doing this a long time.

The State now controls the economy, almost exclusively helping corporations and the very rich, with no strings attached.

Supply side only economics at work.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

It's a caricature Al Franken (who went on to become a Democrat senator) came up with for his book Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them.

You can see some of the original comics here: https://www.beliefnet.com/news/2003/09/the-gospel-of-supply-side-jesus.aspx

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago

Thomas Robert Malthus literally a cleric of Christianity who exposed these morals.

Probably the largest reason economics is completely fucked.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (2 children)

I'm non-religious, but I'm more in line with that Jesus wanted people to do than most self proclaimed Christians

On the issues of war, healthcare, wages, rights to bodily autonomy, rights to actually have control over the things you buy. I'm with Jesus on all that.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

hells yea, atheists with Jesus !!

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Come back OG Jesus, all is forgiven.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

Conservatives would literally murder him if he were to come back. A brown-skinned wokist telling people to love each other would not be popular

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

I'm not sure I'd like the actual guy, either. The stories we have are the result of several decades of embellishment before eventually being written down. Some no doubt make him look better than the actual story, and others are just made up entirely.

From what we do know about him, he was a weird apocalyptic peasant preacher. He probably was executed for exactly what he was accused of before the Romans: trying to make himself the king of the Jews by leading an overthrow of the Romans. People like that aren't healthy people to be around; see your modern apocalyptic cult leader for details.

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