When the DM tries to make it as obvious as possible : rpgmemes

[–] [email protected] 74 points 3 months ago (4 children)

This just gave me the idea of an item that is secretly highly radioactive. Carrying it and being around it it would slowly give the character increasingly acute symptoms of radiation poisoning.The characters can't possibly understand what radiation poisoning is so they would think it is some sort of magical curse. However no magic users would be able figure out what it is and how to stop it.

I'm wondering how long it would take for the players themselves to figure out what it really is, or if they ever would.

[–] [email protected] 50 points 3 months ago (3 children)

"You decipher the runes - they say 'Drop and Run'."

[–] [email protected] 59 points 3 months ago (4 children)

The dungeon entrance is marked with a message in an ancient language called "English." It reads as follows:

This place is a message... and part of a system of messages... pay attention to it!

Sending this message was important to us. We considered ourselves to be a powerful culture.

This place is not a place of honor... no highly esteemed deed is commemorated here... nothing valued is here.

What is here was dangerous and repulsive to us. This message is a warning about danger.

The danger is in a particular location... it increases towards a center... the center of danger is here... of a particular size and shape, and below us.

The danger is still present, in your time, as it was in ours.

The danger is to the body, and it can kill.

The form of the danger is an emanation of energy.

The danger is unleashed only if you substantially disturb this place physically. This place is best shunned and left uninhabited.

$10 says the party decides to delve for treasure anyway.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 3 months ago

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Long-term_nuclear_waste_warning_messages

For reference.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 months ago

I kinda want to put that into a game word-for-word and see what happens. My money's on TPK.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 months ago

"Sounds like something a treasure-hoarding dragon would say."

-The Party

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago

Oh I forgot about that. I'm definitely using that on the big bad's lair.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 months ago (1 children)

10 minutes to widespread organ failure is a bit short for the players to figure anything out.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 months ago (1 children)

That's 100 rounds, seems like plenty of time to me.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 months ago

That's almost 100 whole sessions. It's honestly too long of you ask me.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

🫳🏃‍➡️

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 months ago (1 children)

If they do figure it out you could be in for a very long debate about how far away something is inside a bag of holding.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago

As far away as the center point of the Big Bang

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 months ago (1 children)

The demon core.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago

"Hey, I speak Infernal! ... what tastes like blue?"

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

A modernist version of Spoony's favorite TTRPG, "Surprise! It's Call Of Cthulu."

[–] [email protected] 62 points 3 months ago (2 children)

There is an old movie called "Mom and Dad Save the World." It's pure entertainment.

The planet is full of idiots and one of their most dangerous weapons is the light grenade. Anyone who picks it up disappears in a bright flash. So, why would anyone ever pick up this well-known weapon? Because it says "Pick me up" on the side.

[–] [email protected] 33 points 3 months ago (6 children)

Never in my life have I found someone else who knows about that movie. Scene in question

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 months ago

I watched the crap out of it as a kid. I remember it being very weird.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago

I've seen this! But I didn't recall that until I saw this scene. Must have been on cable in the early 90's? Good times.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago (1 children)

"Let's hope these guys are really stupid"

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago

"Mutton chops or sideburns?"

"Mutton chops!"

"Hmm... No. Shoot yourself in the head."

Shoots himself in the head

"You! Sideburns or mutton chops?"

Looking at the guy next to him

"Mutton chops!"

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago

The mushroom creature has stayed with me for more than 30 years.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago

Oh hey, it's that pedophile from ferris bueller

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

Oooohh nostalgia!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago

Oh good, I was thinking of that exact thing, but I couldn't remember the name of the movie. I remember it being surprisingly funny.

[–] [email protected] 49 points 3 months ago (1 children)

"Alright guys, so, obviously it's cursed. But imagine how good it would be if we could sneak it into some bad guy's pocket. I pick up the gem."

[–] [email protected] 29 points 3 months ago (2 children)

GM: "Uhh, allllriiiiight. Make a wisdom saving throw. DC: fuck you."

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Player: Somehow rolls Fuck You +1

GM: ...

GM: Uhhhh, I'm gonna need 15 minutes

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 months ago

I did that once. Put on the necromancer's crown and crit the save. I was going to have to make those crit saves hourly so I reluctantly took it off.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago

"Does a 40 save?"

"Look me in the eyes, and tell me: should it?"

[–] [email protected] 35 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (2 children)

Holy shit check out that spear in the corner! I bet it's awesome, since all these people died protecting it.

The rust, scratches, and broken haft are probably just to disguise it.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

If my players said that from this image the spear would suddenly become a pretty sick magic item.

It's also cursed though, like the one ring, to cause jealousy and greed

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago

My guy stumbles over the gemstone en route to the spear.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 months ago (1 children)

skeletons and filth everywhere EXCEPT the gem

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 months ago (1 children)

The sacred artifact of absolute cleanliness!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago

Unfortunately, someone once said the phrase "human filth" within a 500 ft range of the artifact and it never forgot.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 months ago

Those other skeletons were just quitters.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 months ago

This looks like a job for my unseen servant (or phantasmal minion for people who play the Pathfinder Remaster)!

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 months ago

I hit it with my sword!

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I bet that skull has some magic power!

[–] MajorHavoc 5 points 3 months ago

Argh. I can feel this one.

My party often gravitates to the grossest random ad-hoc detail.

"I'm pretty sure that dead animal carcass is magical. I stuff it in my bag."

... Much later ...

"I dump the dead carcass on the Wizards desk and ask him to cast 'detect magic'".

...party proceeds to remind me (the DM) that they've carried a dead animal carcass in a backpack for half the campaign...

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 months ago (1 children)

A new hand touches the beacon...

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago

Totally, 100% for sure not related to all those skeletons on the floor.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago

Nope that's a trap. I think the DM mentioned something shiny in the flavor text an hour ago though. We should track that down.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I approach the Obelisk,.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago

I got that reference!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago

Lol, Tomb of Horrors last resort wish gem.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago

oh come on, man. mage hand/unseen servant that shit into a bag of holding and forget about it for 3 years.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago

Not only am I going to pick it up, I'm gonna try and eat it

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