Wait, I can remove them from the story but then I have to deal with them?
this post was submitted on 01 May 2024
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Asklemmy
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It's funny when the title of the post and the topic of the post posit two completely different scenarios, lol
I was going to say Jar Jar Binks, but now I won't.
I mean...you can kill him once you take him out of the story.
"Yousa wants me dead-dead? Oh pooie!"
proceeds to trip over your furniture and inadvertently set your house on fire
Rincewind. It'd be nice to have a lightning rod for bad luck nearby to absorb any that might be headed towards me.
Oof in that same vein, we could use a Samuel Vimes sort wandering around dispensing justiceβ¦
I was thinking Vimes, but I'm not sure I could handle the guilt of taking him from young Sam.
God from the bible. The whole book will just be a bunch of ancient stories nobody should care about anymore. Would be interesting to see what the world would be like without Christianity.
The same or worse, because other religions wouldβve taken Its place instead
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Bizarrely, God is the main antagonist in the Old Testament in terms of plot.
So the stories would be more boring but also a lot calmer.
Great answer... But now you've caused God to actually exist IRL!
Scrappy Doo
Thank you, for taking one for the team.
I would just hand him over to that terrible Republican VP pick for Trump. She would know what to do.
Top comment, I don't care what the votes say.
Beat me to it-doobie-doo
Corny as fuck, but here goes⦠Superman. Very powerful, very ethical. His abilities are specifically not magical, but a natural product of his Kryptonian physiology reacting to our sun.
The world could use someone incorruptible who has the strength to back up their words.
You want supervillains? Because that's how you get supervillains.
Already got em
F*cking JaJaBinks... There, I said it!
He's really a Dark Lord of the Sith you know...
I wouldn't have gone with fucking, but whatever floats your boat
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Wait so when they appear next to me does that mean they are now real IRL instead of in the piece of media?
If so I'm going to pick Neo from The Matrix.
Single handedly destroys the need for sequels and gives me a Keanu-esque friend.
Boromir. Right before the arrows start flying. We would just sit at a bar drinking after I'd calmed him down, and we'd read how the hobbits got taken by Orcs anyway and that Sam and Frodo are pretty much doing their own thing.
(We would also have the "Seen Been"/ "Shaun Bonn" discussion, time permitting)
Skip ahead to the last book where the ~~King~~ Steward of Gondor sits on the throne, and then I'll pat Boromir encourangingly on the back, and shove him back into the book so he can connect with his dad again.
I also might throw in some AK-47s for that last battle in the last book, but depends how much I've been drinking honesty
You can't return them to the book, taking them out is permanent.
Oh. Well, still Boromir before the arrows. At that point he's basically written out of the story anyway.
I can find him work petitioning the Tolkien estate to include firearms in their final battle, which they will likely refuse because they are dicks. I guess he could go on celebrity panel shows, but I don't think he'd be that funny.
Pulling him out of the book really might do more harm than good. He died with courage. Now he just mysteriously vanished when he was needed the most. Probably the ~~King~~ Steward of Rohan would be suspicious on his son's disappearance, and would reject any plea for aid fr the Fellowship. Might doom the story.
I am terribly sorry to brung this up, but you've now suggested twice that Boromir is connected to the king of Rohan which isn't the case. I believe you mean to say Steward of Gondor because Gondor has no king and Gondor needs no king.
goddammit I knew that too
Caillou, because unlike everyone in his universe I'm not afraid to punch the shit out of a 4 year old.
Shirley Fenette from Code Geass, because she deserves so much better.
Do PokΓ©mon count?
Sure
Togepi.
Jack Slater from Last Action Hero.
Pyro.
One of the black holes from this game, assuming it keeps its ability to send people to a different galaxy since its a passive ability, not an active one.
People would probably not notice anything wrong with the game
If you use the size of the pancakes to measure the size of the black hole, you would find out that they are small, allowing me to escape in time
JFK from right before he was shot. Timed so that the shot happens anyways. Then just let him hang out and absorb the last 60 years for a bit. Then cease to exist or something because him disappearing in the middle of a parade on live television would change history pretty drastically, likely causing me (and most others younger than that) to never be born.
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