this post was submitted on 07 Apr 2024
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Not The Onion

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[–] [email protected] 164 points 7 months ago (4 children)

"The communist states are getting earthquakes. Look at California. You can't have more earthquakes than California. You want to figure out why?"

Californian here, the answer is "plate tectonics", and "fault lines".

Source: I graduated the third grade.

[–] [email protected] 61 points 7 months ago (3 children)

You can't blame Rudy, he has a fault line running right through his brain.

Also the former mayor of NYC is calling New York communist? That's hilarious.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Communism is when liberals

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I think it was from that fault line that dark goo was running.

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 7 months ago

That's what the hammer and sickle represent, clearly.

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[–] [email protected] 147 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Yeah, and witches cursed my pants to not fit anymore. NOT all the non-stop sitting and snacking. Definitely witches.

[–] [email protected] 82 points 7 months ago (3 children)

A witch turned me into a newt.

[–] [email protected] 66 points 7 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 69 points 7 months ago

...I got better

[–] [email protected] 32 points 7 months ago

He got better.

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[–] [email protected] 125 points 7 months ago (4 children)

Communist means whatever they want it to mean.

[–] [email protected] 90 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Communism is when you.. Wait okay let me start over. If someone else is doing something and.. Hold on. So you know how theres capitalism and then there's.... Please don't do a communism.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Your words were all spelled correctly. Try again? :-P

[–] [email protected] 17 points 7 months ago (1 children)

AND not PROPERLY capitolized for maximum IMPACT

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 7 months ago
[–] [email protected] 18 points 7 months ago

Did they wear out 'woke'?

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[–] [email protected] 108 points 7 months ago (8 children)

You gotta be mentally defective to be a republican.

[–] [email protected] 39 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Not true! Some of them are corrupt predators, too.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I really just wonder how easy it would be, psychologically, to start a Red-Blooded for Jesus organization, rake in profits under a non-profit tag, then "have to close because of the economy" and retire.

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[–] [email protected] 80 points 7 months ago (4 children)

Look at California. You can't have more earthquakes than California. You want to figure out why?"

I think they're called fault lines. This is on the level of "tides go in, tides go out, you can't explain that!" Followed by an "are you fucking kidding?" face

[–] [email protected] 40 points 7 months ago (3 children)

There was a Republican politician that said something along the lines that God was punishing states because they allowed gays. And then his state got hammered in the ass by another storm.

He didn't walk back his statement.

These people just want to blame everything bad on their enemies.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Years ago Rick Perry also demanded that Texans pray for rain and god responded by setting the entire state on fire shortly after.

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 7 months ago (1 children)

You also graduated third grade! There must be dozens of us in America!!

[–] [email protected] 15 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Sadly, none of us have been elected to office.

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 7 months ago (3 children)

Nah it's god, and when it's lightning god angy. And rain is god sad. And alligators our ornery because they got all them teeth but no toothbrush.

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[–] [email protected] 69 points 7 months ago

Ah yes, NYC and Wallstreet. The bastion of communism.

[–] [email protected] 62 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Maybe the home of Wall Street, the world's largest market, isn't Communist.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Obligatory: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YDxmpmln-CI

Words just mean whatever these folks want them to mean.

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 7 months ago

wall streets only there to draw away suspicion. nobody would suspect wall street to be right in the middle of a communist city

[–] [email protected] 52 points 7 months ago (7 children)

If these dudes are going full clown mode, then the media should stop reporting on them. There's no value in anything they say. These aren't alternative viewpoints, this is just babbling in an attempt to be relevant.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

Is there some kind of brain fungus going around in the US? This guy, Trump and Musk and many others seem to have it.

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[–] [email protected] 51 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Judge, take his condo that he claims he needs to run his podcast.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 7 months ago (4 children)

Wait... they let you keep whatever you need?

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[–] [email protected] 33 points 7 months ago (2 children)

And which landscaping company's storage yard did he announce this from?

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[–] [email protected] 30 points 7 months ago

If only there were Communist US states.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 7 months ago (11 children)

Pretty sure Jesus would be a commie if he was alive

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[–] [email protected] 29 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (5 children)

Well by this logic, hurricanes and tornadoes must be targeting republican states. What's the message being sent there? 🤔 At least you can somewhat design and build architecture against earthquakes...

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[–] [email protected] 26 points 7 months ago

I love how this dried up old dipshit had it made in the shade after 911 but these maga dumbasses can't let their little glue sniffing brains feel like the spotlight isn't on them anymore. The world will be a better place once this idiot is behind bars or dead...or both.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Republicans are supremely confident in the stupidity of their audience. Giuliani is a terrible no-good person, but I seriously doubt he's this dumb himself.

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[–] [email protected] 26 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Did this guy ever pay the $140+ million dollar defamation lawsuit?

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[–] [email protected] 25 points 7 months ago

God sending earthquakes to encourage states to be communists... See? It makes the same sense, none at all.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 7 months ago

New York, with Manhattan being a city that's basically the epicenter of American capitalism, where the world's most important stock exchange is, and that he himself was the mayor of.

[–] Tramort 23 points 7 months ago

Giuliani? The Russian asset? Communism?

Weird timeline.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 7 months ago (1 children)

God used to turn cities to rubble by raining fire. Now he makes the ground shake enough for books to fall off the shelf.

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[–] [email protected] 22 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

For a while I thought I was in the onion community and couldn't understand why many comments didn't catch that. And then I scrolled up and saw nottheonion.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 7 months ago

I grew up in the tri-state when this guy was mayor and I just remember him being called Gestapo Guiliani. NY appeared cleaner, especially on 42nd and Times Square, but he always seemed to be a shit person despite the handjobs he’s received from the public.

I was wrong, he is worse.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 7 months ago (2 children)

We were in the communist state of New York and then we were in Connecticut and we just escaped all the earthquakes then we got to Massachusetts which probably had some earthquakes and we got to New Hampshire

No no no, keep going, keep going!

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 7 months ago

Why the fuck is this guy on the streets and not in jail

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