this post was submitted on 02 Apr 2024
476 points (93.9% liked)

Programmer Humor

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[–] [email protected] 68 points 3 months ago (2 children)

at least all those state actors will have to fight it out to control my system

and i have an excuse for poor application performance

[–] [email protected] 35 points 3 months ago (2 children)

It's not my fault it takes ages to compile. It's the government non mandated backdoors binaries causing it to take 3 hours instead of 2:59:59.5

[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 months ago

What's the real mind-blower: if some guy's computer was slow, the entire world would get a backdoor.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago

Can’t we dynamically link them?

[–] [email protected] 58 points 3 months ago
[–] [email protected] 35 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Coding is kind of like being a wizard. Like, y’all put a bunch of nonsense in just precisely the right order and then some electrictrified minerals bounce around and then a sandwich shows up at my door.

If the process was almost any amount sexier we would absolutely not let half the people running tech startups near it for -gestures broadly- obvious reasons.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 3 months ago

Yet people give me shit when I say “I don’t want that js tool because it has too many dependencies”

[–] [email protected] 18 points 3 months ago (1 children)

One of those backdoors is in the front.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 months ago

Thats the back backdoor