Programmer Humor

Codebender

Not engineer.

At least here in Germany, engineer is a protected profession. Other than that: All of the above.

I'm in tech and "computer programmer" has always sounded to me like a grandma phrase. Like how all gaming consoles are referred to as "the Nintendo" or "the game station".

• Viewport engineer.
• Browser-space technician.
• Microsoft painter-decorator.
• Inferior decorator.
• He-who-responds (on the bugs channel).
• Scope denier.
• Manager disappointer.

H.

Code monkey

Honestly, the longer I work in tech, the less confidence I have in anyone's title. Even searching for a job, different companies have different ideas of what, pretty much everything is....

I'm more on the side of IT support (sysadmin/netadmim/systems engineer/network engineer/second/third level support/engineer/whatever tf)... And even looking for a job for myself, it's a nightmare... Even mundane details about the job are messed up. I saw a posting for a "remote support technician", by their definition, this was "remote" as in, not from an office. The job was on-site support for remote sites. I don't even think it was an IT position, more like mechanical maintenance IIRC. So you were "remote" aka, not at their office, doing support (for something not electronic), as a "technician".

It's bullshit all the way down.

When I was last looking for a job someone commented that I had "only" applied to x positions in y weeks, when their search for (some vague title related to my usual employment) had z search results, where z was more than 10 times x. I didn't bother replying but I couldn't help but think, did you look at any of those postings? I literally had a search filter for jobs that was "CCNA" (Cisco certified) and I literally had administrative assistant positions coming up.... Those are little better than secretarial jobs. I know because I clicked on it because maybe, just maybe they meant an assistant to the systems administrator, but no, it was exactly what it said on the tin.

This is my frustration with IT. There are zero standards for what a job is. Developer? Is it software or something related to construction? Engineer? Are you examining the structure of something or building out IT solutions? Admin? Office admin? Systems admin? Department admin? There's too many "admin" related jobs.... "Support"? Supporting what exactly? Am I programming switchports, or is this some other kind of bullshit support.

That's not even getting into all the actual IT jobs that are clearly out in left field. Sysadmin jobs that require years of experience with an application that's extremely specific to one industry; an application you could learn likely in a matter of days, which isn't very complicated, but your resume goes in a bin if you don't have some very specific certification and a number of years of experience with the related app... I know that because I've applied to such positions and didn't even get a courtesy email telling me to pound sand.

Which takes me to another point, you don't get rejected. You get ghosted. They don't want you? Fine, tell me that. You don't even have to give me a reason, just some copy pasta about pursuing other candidates. That way I will know to not expect anything further, and keep trying. I mean, I'm going to keep trying no matter what, but still...

The whole job market is a hellscape.

Then, I can turn my attention to the pointless titles people have, which often don't mean shit outside of your specific workplace. "Lead customer success technician" ... Ok, wtf is that? What does any of that mean? Are you technical in the sense of working with information technology? Or is it one of the DOZENS of other "technical" things? Everyone is a technician and everyone is an engineer now. Those terms used to mean something. Now they're just keywords to blast your resume with to try to match some AI filter so you can get a call. If you don't play the game, your left behind.

I feel bad for all the professional engineers out there who hold degrees in real engineering. Now anyone, everyone and their mother is calling themselves some kind of engineer. It's all word salad and I hate it.

machine whisperer

Hackerman

"Job titles are actually a fluid concept - why feel a strong need to label everything?" :-D

Tech-priest.

Magos.

O, si es necesario, El Señor Arch-Magos.

Todos alaban al Santo Omnissiah, y así sucesivamente.

I put "Chaotic Neutral Technomancer" as my title at work and HR said I had to change it.

Anything except G

I'm a Senior Software Engineer, outside of countries where engineer is a protected title. I'm also a Beep-Boop Technician, Specialized Generalist (not Full-Stack since I have mostly succeeded in avoiding JS, until this afternoon), Problem Fixer, Technical Diplomat, Cat Herder (sometimes a tech lead), and The-Mean-Guy-That-Rejects-Commits-When-There-Are-API-Calls-Made-Without-TLS-Encryption-And-Hardcoded-Secrets (infosec likes me but always seems genuinely confused at a dev not fighting them).

A "good girl"

Digital wizard.

I don't know where "software engineer" started but in Australia engineers have to study for years and then do a minimum amount of study every year to keep their license. Which we don't have to do. I've always been weirded out by Software Engineer even though it seems to be becoming more common.

Funny because HR doesn't know either and its their job. In the US, you just need to slap engineer at the end and you are golden.

I have the words "software engineer" in my job title but I hate it.

We aren't engineers, we're a bunch of undisciplined hackers, engineers have standards and ethics.

Programmer is my preferred term, or software developer.

Code monkey is also acceptable.

I'm a Senior Computer Software Developer Programming Engineer, or SCSDPE (which is pronounced Skuzz-Deep), and I will be irreparably miffed if you get it wrong.

For your convenience, I also accept "that guy that sits weirdly close to the water fountain", "hey", and "paid keyboard user".

This is my opinion that is basically a compilation of the coworkers I've talked to about the subject.

Depends on the role. Passed senior level most prefer to be called engineers. Those are the people designing the whole system. Software developers are usually more mid level and figure out the specifics of how to design smaller sections of the system. They cut a lot of the detailed tickets and write a lot of infrastructure code.

Programmer is usually the juniors who never design much and just take tickets and turn them into code.

When I say senior, mid level, and junior, I'm referring more to the role that you're fulfilling that day, and not the overall skill level. Engineers will often step in as programmers for more complicated code.

We usually accept any of the terms though because it's very rare for someone to not jump between the various tasks depending on what the active project is. And at some companies they only hire seniors and they perform all roles.

TL;DR: Every software engineer is a developer and programmer, but not every developer is an engineer, and not every programmer is a developer or engineer.

data scientist

code monkey

alchemist

The Wizard

I prefer Software Engineer, mostly because I studied at an engineering school and have a degree in Software Engineering. My actual titles have varied throughout my career, but I overall consider myself a software engineer.

h a c k e r

I got told the difference between a software developer and an engineer is that an engineer factors in a products lifecycle and scalability and communicates this to their team and client

Space wizard will do thanks

I've set my role on my company's slack profile as "code connoisseur"

Call me magic man