this post was submitted on 16 May 2024
713 points (97.2% liked)

Not The Onion

11929 readers
2 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] [email protected] 184 points 6 months ago (10 children)

Scratching a stranger’s car is never okay.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 6 months ago (1 children)

But what if it ain't a car but a Cybertruck?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago

Scratching another unmet civilians vehicular mode of transport is never okay.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 6 months ago (3 children)

It is strange and striking that climate change activists have not committed any acts of terrorism. After all, terrorism is for the individual by far the modern world’s most effective form of political action, and climate change is an issue about which people feel just as strongly as about, say, animal rights. This is especially noticeable when you bear in mind the ease of things like blowing up petrol stations, or vandalising SUVs. In cities, SUVs are loathed by everyone except the people who drive them; and in a city the size of London, a few dozen people could in a short space of time make the ownership of these cars effectively impossible, just by running keys down the side of them, at a cost to the owner of several thousand pounds a time. Say fifty people vandalising four cars each every night for a month: six thousand trashed SUVs in a month and the Chelsea tractors would soon be disappearing from our streets. So why don’t these things happen?

[–] [email protected] 26 points 6 months ago (3 children)

Because the law drops the hammer on them BIG time.

Hell, activists use to spike old wood trees marked for clear cutting back in the day. This would cause the saw blades foresters would use to explode in their face,, in fact George Alexander, a millworker, was severely injured when a saw blade shattered after contact with a tree spike and cut his jaw in half.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

His name is Jason Alexander, he only played a character named George.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago (1 children)

George Alexander would then form a band, drop two hits, then write for other artists away from the limelight.

Oh wait, that's Gregg.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago

I thought he conquered the eastern Mediterranean, Egypt, the Middle East, and parts of Asia in a remarkably short period of time.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago

I thought no one was prosecuted in that case.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I think it says more about the personalities on each side. ICE loving climate deniers are aggressive by nature.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 6 months ago (1 children)

No, it's more that people who care about climate change are good at long term thinking. There are no cuddly animals to rescue right now, so people who want instant gratification do other things.

People who are good at long term thinking commit fewer types of impulse crimes. Vandalism is an unintelligent way to get your point across. There's nothing inherently wrong with the paint job on the SUV.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago

I've seen ICE folks run cyclists off of roads. I don't think I've ever seen an EV or cyclist attack a shitwagon.

I dunno man, how ever you measure it I think the ice folks are more aggressive by nature, these are the same coal rolling fucks who like to pollute intentionally as a 'fuck you' to environmentalists.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago

Maybe environmental movements don't attract the types of people who do this stuff or maybe it's not personal it's impersonal? Big difference between being told in your childhood house of worship that you are going to happy sky place if you die for skydaddy or seeing your uncle dragged off in the night vs. seeing a PowerPoint about climate change. Or maybe it's just a number game. Environmental groups just don't have enough people to get them in the pool.

Not sure.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 6 months ago

They probably just wanted to see if it's really bulletproof..

[–] [email protected] 22 points 6 months ago (1 children)

It is if they blatantly block sidewalks like the entitled assholes that they are.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 6 months ago (2 children)

No! Bad DarkThoughts!

You call a tow truck and have the vehicle towed at the owner’s expense.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

Oh my sweet summer child. Sidewalk parking is more or less legal in Germany since cars are generally placed above people. It's literally happening everywhere. My entire street is full of people being 1/3 on the sidewalk.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago (1 children)

No it's not. You can't park your car on the sidewalk unless explicitly allowed by a sign. If you park on the sidewalk you have to pay a fine, if your car is blocking something you also get a Punkt in Flensburg.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Dude, literally every damn city residential area is like this. No one cares, especially not the Ordnungsamt who should be responsible for it, or politicians. Worst case, they just add some white paint and whoop it is legal, because fuck pedestrians. I don't even know why you try to argue otherwise when it's literally my reality that I have to constantly squeeze myself through between cars and walls because the sidewalk is not even wide enough for two people anymore with all the cars parking on it. Like literally every single time, for decades. And the fatter the cars get each year, the worse it gets too. Even firefighters already complained about this because they often can't even drive through some streets since even the car lane itself is too narrow thanks to the cars, even if they park right against the house walls. But hey, here's Knuschberkeks telling me that I am apparently hallucinating.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Calm down. I didn't say it's not what's happening. Yes it is happening, especially in bigger citys. Yes it is incredibly annoying. But that doesn't mean it's legal. Have you tried to do anything about it?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I said it is "more or less legal", meaning it is defacto legal because no one actually enforces it and rather makes it legal if they had to enforce it.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago (1 children)

what happens if you report them?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I don't report, because it's not anonymous. And other people who kept reporting like crazy ended up getting charged for it by the police, so I'd rather not do that. Plus it is typically the case that reports aren't getting followed up upon. Not that it would even make sense to literally report every single car all the way down the entire street anyway. I've seen Ordnungsamt people walk through it, so they very clearly know. Not that it is some secret anyway since again, it's absolutely everywhere. It's the norm. So if they wanted to enforce it, then they could just do it.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I admit I don't know a lot about this type of stuff, but there must be some (probably super involved) way to get this enforced. I mean it is written in law so there must be some way to fight it, but you'd probably have to sue the Ordnungsamt or the city some shit like that.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago

Cars have such a high priority in people's lives that this wouldn't help much because a court would generally rule in favor of the cars, since a lot of people are basically dependent on them, which somehow justifies having your car park in front of your house. Otherwise we'd have the consequence of having to create dedicated parking spaces everywhere in form of parking garages / houses, which would be away from where people live since the space for that is typically not existent. But hey, you're welcome to try to create some sort of precedence in court. Maybe you can afford some very good lawyer who could pull this through and convince the judge.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago

In what world is a tow truck going to tow a car for parking on the side walk? They’re gonna tell you to call the cops or parking enforcement and the cops don’t even show up for gun shots

[–] [email protected] 17 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

Can't say I agree. For example, if someone hits you with their car? It's ok to scratch it.

Edit: The downvotes on this are fucking unreal, imagine being upset that the person you just mowed over scratched your car. Fuck right off with that bullshit.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago

For example, if someone hits you with their car? It's ok to scratch it.

Are you 12?

Or do you just see every unfortunate occurrence as personal victimization?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Carrie Underwood has an entire song about how you are wrong.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 6 months ago

Yeah but it's not a stranger in the song

[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 months ago

You know, I agree. But also, you can't imagine how much I want to scratch the cars that just park illegally in my neighborhood. They park on the curves and crossings and in such small distances that I literally cannot pass through with my stroller without scratching them. So I end up going around the block(s) further and further away just to pass through some gap of illegally parked cars that's just big enough if I am very careful. But then I end up thinking, wtf. Why do I have to be careful to not scratch their wrongfully parked cars, a private property that they left outside on a place designed and protected by law to be solely for pedestrians, with my private property that should be able to walk this road? And also, why do I not get the same protection if I want to park my bike or stroller outside? Because no one cares if my private property is damaged when it is left outside. If I scratch my stroller on an illegally parked car when I cross the road at the place I am supposed to be crossing somehow I am the one who has to pay damages.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago (1 children)

But giving them the finger is

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

That doesn’t do expensive damage. I am pro-finger.

Edit: come on, “pro-finger”? Nobody’s gonna take that and run with it? I’m disappointed.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago (1 children)

On purpose yes, by accident, what can you do

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago (1 children)

True. I had intentional damage in mind.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago

Even then, in a “lorry problem” type of scenario, it could be OK. Like, you have a lever and there’s a fascist con-man polluting the world with bad ideas and products, and you could either do nothing or use the lever to go to town on one of those products to send a message to his supporters, I know what I would do