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I dream very, very infrequently, partially because of hypophantasia, partially because I learned lucid dreaming interferes with my sleep (it really isn't that healthy), and also I've sort of stunted my dreaming. To explain, during a time when my outlook on the dreaming process was different, it used to be I primarily dreamt about people I missed. Such dreams were my glory, but then I'd wake up and the realization it was a dream once again would hit me hard.
One night I had such a dream, it became lucid, and I discovered that, despite being emotionally numb in real life which meant I have a hard time crying, in my dream I gravitated towards crying, and it felt unnaturally natural because I wouldn't have expected it if I don't gravitate towards crying in real life. It came to a point when I didn't want to dream anymore, even if I never dreamt that often in the first place, so I pushed my ability to do so far, far away.
Woah, are you okay?
Okay? Yes. Satisfactory? Meh. I know life circumstances have demonstrated they could be better than they are. I've lost a few people in life in ways that are particularly difficult to think back on. I go about myself normally but I'd be lying to say I could confirm the parts of my mind I may be neglecting have or will ever see itself as beyond all that.
I'm sorry to hear it, and I hope you are being kind to yourself.