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Report: You Could Quit Job Right Now And Just Play PS5 Until You Run Out Of Money
(www.theonion.com)
A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.
Great Satire Writing:
What do I buy low and sell high?
Other people’s labor
You simply need a diversified portfolio of assets, then you do shorts but don't do puts or something.
I actually have no idea what any of that means, but I have a friend who does stocks stuff and that's the sort of thing he says lol.
Drugs.
Stocks. Then when you inevitably buy high and sell low, you can claim you’re “tax harvesting” before anybody points and laughs at you.
Source: I buy stocks.
Bananas
Isn't the banana market run by cartels now?
now?
I couldn't say, but avocados are a cash crop utilized by cartels
So are you telling me to fund terrorism?
Pretty sure that's the American dream?
I'm not telling you to do anything. You are the master of your own self