this post was submitted on 05 Sep 2023
1012 points (98.1% liked)

The Onion

4461 readers
623 users here now

The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

Great Satire Writing:

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

You simply need a diversified portfolio of assets, then you do shorts but don't do puts or something.

I actually have no idea what any of that means, but I have a friend who does stocks stuff and that's the sort of thing he says lol.