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Report: You Could Quit Job Right Now And Just Play PS5 Until You Run Out Of Money
(www.theonion.com)
this post was submitted on 05 Sep 2023
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In an incredibly basic sense: buy low, sell high. As we live in a capitalist society, this is the way things work.
Those who choose to slave away as workers are only generating profit for their overlords
What do I buy low and sell high?
Other people’s labor
You simply need a diversified portfolio of assets, then you do shorts but don't do puts or something.
I actually have no idea what any of that means, but I have a friend who does stocks stuff and that's the sort of thing he says lol.
Drugs.
Stocks. Then when you inevitably buy high and sell low, you can claim you’re “tax harvesting” before anybody points and laughs at you.
Source: I buy stocks.
Bananas
Isn't the banana market run by cartels now?
now?
I couldn't say, but avocados are a cash crop utilized by cartels
So are you telling me to fund terrorism?
Pretty sure that's the American dream?
I'm not telling you to do anything. You are the master of your own self
So gamble? The only proven way to reliably make money on investing are things like index funds, which you will need a fair amount of starting capital to make a living off of.
I'm not talking about stocks. I'm talking about literally anything that people will pay money for, which is a lot of stuff. You can even make the stuff or get it for free, vastly increasing your profit margins.
People really do say some dumb shit
Do you have any examples?