this post was submitted on 19 Aug 2023
229 points (91.9% liked)

Asklemmy

44148 readers
1570 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy 🔍

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

  1. Open-ended question
  2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
  3. Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
  4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
  5. An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_[email protected]~

founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] JackbyDev 164 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I don't see a problem with it as long as no trafficking is involved.

[–] [email protected] 45 points 1 year ago (7 children)

I agree with this. I have found that most women do not however. It has been a great trouble for me, to talk about, when trying to find a new partner.

[–] [email protected] 39 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (3 children)

This is pretty surprising to me. In my experience (as a woman myself) women are much more likely than men to be vocally supportive of treating sex work like any other service and of breaking the taboo of offering or receiving those services.

I actually can’t think of any woman in my life who would judge someone negatively for seeing a sex worker (assuming full consent from all involved parties including partners). Most men I know would similarly have no issue with it, but a handful would read it as not being able to get laid and see that as something negative.

My social circle isn’t representative of the general population, but I’m still surprised to hear your experience is dramatically different. I wonder if the way the conversations are going make the issue more about consent, cheating, or other non-sex-work-specific ethical questions.

[–] [email protected] 47 points 1 year ago

I have sometimes seen a phenomenon where people are very supportive of things until they are affected directly, and then they are supportive of those things in other people’s lives.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

I think more women would be understanding to men paying for sex than men would be to women paying for it.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You should definitely bring this up as often as possible. Enjoying coerced intimacy is totally well adjusted behavior.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago (1 children)

real big-brain take centrist

Since it's safe to assume you don't talk to people in real life, here's a mass of "reviews" of sex workers. People who buy sex are disgusting.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Says the person with "McCainRBGcreampie" as a username.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Big shocker there...

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Do you make use of the sex workers while in the relationship with the new partner?

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Then why speak of it?

I don’t talk about previous sexual partners with new ones.

[–] [email protected] 34 points 1 year ago (4 children)

For the purpose of disclosure. I just cant live with myself if I do not tell prospective partners when they ask. I know there is a difference between avoidance and lying, however, I value honesty. Not implying that you are not or should thinknas I do

[–] [email protected] 56 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Last year I shit myself while trying to open my door and get to the bathroom.

I dropped my keys while I was trying to unlock the door and ended up with shit in my shoes that I had to throw away.

I never bring that up on dates.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 year ago (1 children)

This story made my panties wet.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

That's a surprising stance coming from SatansMaggotyCumFart

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

That's a third date story

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

What an amecdote. Thank you for lightening my mind lol

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You have an over-sharing problem.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I can't agree. I think people should have a friendship as strong as their romance.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

Some things are not made to be shared. You are two different people. Leave a little mystery.

I’ve been with my partner for 27 years, so have a bit of experience to draw from.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Is it typical to give a whole run-down of your sexual history when dating? Like, I've mentioned previous encounters or exes when it comes up, but rarely near the beginning of the dating process. In my experience people tend to not have those discussions. Not because it's bad but because it doesn't matter. When I meet a new woman and start seeing them, I don't need to hear about or care about their past relationships unless it's something they feel they want to share for whatever reason.

It sounds like you don't think sex work is immoral, so I wouldn't bring it up unless it's something that would actually affect your current relationship. If sex is casual enough to commodify then it's not something that would be brought up when getting to know someone. Do you also give them a run-down of every meal you've ever bought at restaurants?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

The fact that you need to "disclose" this makes it sound like you yourself see an issue with it

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I think the issue is the portrayal of the types of men who use such services in media. They’re usually not good people.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

What incredible acting, I felt like I was there

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (2 children)

They don’t want to date a man who is regularly going to sex workers?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

@[email protected] What have you been telling these women?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

Yeah I'm not sure why or how this would be a topic of conversation when, yknow, dating women.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Then they are not worth your time

load more comments (1 replies)