this post was submitted on 27 May 2025
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Science Memes

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Into the meat grinder! (mander.xyz)
submitted 3 days ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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[–] [email protected] 54 points 2 days ago (3 children)

Human attempt #32,324,568,693

fail

Human attempt #32,324,568,694

fail

[–] [email protected] 35 points 2 days ago (1 children)

The Aperture Science Enrichment Center welcomes you to the Aperture Science 3 meter sieve. The only exit from this hermetically sealed chamber is through the carbon nanotube mesh covering the doorway. If you are not able to negotiate the carbon nanotube mesh on your own, an Aperture Science 90 kiloton hydraulic persuasion piston will assist you in the experiment. Testing protocols require us to inform you that in some rare cases the carbon nanotube mesh may irritate your skin, eyes, bones, and central nervous system.

[–] ramirezmike 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)

perfect

[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (2 children)

I was going for a Portal 1 GLaDOS there. Portal 2 GLaDOS be like:

Today we are focusing on material integrity--YOURS to be more precise. In this chamber you will encounter a long track of propulsion gel, at the end of which you will encounter an Aperture Science Particle Filtration Grid. The goal isn't to stop you; it is to see precisely which parts of you stop. For science.

Now, try not to disappoint. Or do; it really doesn't matter to me. And if you somehow manage to reassemble yourself on the other side, do let us know. It would be...unexpected

Cave Johnson be like:

Alright, listen up down there! This next experiment we call The Sift. Now you might be thinking, "Cave, why am I being forced through a giant cheese grater?" The answer is very simple: Because you signed the waiver.

We're throwing science at the wall to see what sticks. And by 'the wall' we mean the Aperture Science Particle Filtration Grid, and by 'science' we mean you. And by 'throw' we mean 'fire out of a giant pneumatic cannon."

Some of you might be worried about the finer points, the technical details. Don't! That's our job. Your job is to be the organic matter. I'll be honest, some of you will make it through, and some of you won't. You won't have any tumors left after this, so you've got that going for you. Caroline, start the compressor.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)

why are you this good at this?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I played the shit out of those games.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

Aye, fair enough. Well it was a fun read, so keep it up

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

To be accurate, they will all make it through. One way or another.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 days ago

99% of mad scientist stop immoral human trials right before the big breakthrough!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago

When Leeto got bored of the Duncans and didn't use his prescience. Don't mind me been listening to the Dune series for the umpteenth time again. Just the core ones of course.