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I think a lot about how we as a culture have turned “forever” into the only acceptable definition of success.
Like... if you open a coffee shop and run it for a while and it makes you happy but then stuff gets too expensive and stressful and you want to do something else so you close it, it’s a “failed” business. If you write a book or two, then decide that you don’t actually want to keep doing that, you're a “failed” writer. If you marry someone, and that marriage is good for a while, and then stops working and you get divorced, it’s a “failed” marriage.
The only acceptable “win condition” is “you keep doing that thing forever”. A friendship that lasts for a few years but then its time is done and you move on is considered less valuable or not a “real” friendship. A hobby that you do for a while and then are done with is a “phase” - or, alternatively, a “pity” that you don’t do that thing any more. A fandom is “dying” because people have had a lot of fun with it but are now moving on to other things.
| just think that something can be good, and also end, and that thing was still good. And it’s okay to be sad that it ended, too. But the idea that anything that ends is automatically less than this hypothetical eternal state of success... I don’t think that’s doing us any good at all.
Depends on the situation, marriage is something I would see as for life so that absolutely is a failure. The business it would depend, if you are bankrupt that is a failure but if you choose to sell it as you are not enjoying it any more than that is more comparable to retirement.
I would say rather it depends on the mode of "failure".
Nah, people can change a lot even within a couple of years, let alone their entire lives. Sometimes it just so happens that people are no longer compatible, or grow bored of each other, whatever. What I would consider a failed marriage is if it was abusive from the start or otherwise made one of the spouses unhappy, or if it ended because of some gross misconduct (cheating, domestic violence, etc). If a marriage was fun for a while and ends amicably I'd say it's a success overall. Consider the alternative: the marriage becomes a chore, spouses start to hate each other and be miserable, but continue living together just because "marriage is for life"? That's exactly what I call a failed marriage, not one which ended on good terms.
If you are bankrupt because you did some stupid/illegal shit, then yeah. If the circumstances changed to the point that the business couldn't continue being profitable, it's totally fine to downsize or even close the business. If you performed some services or sold some goods that made people happy for a while it is a success. Once again, consider the alternative: the business is no longer profitable but you continue running it, paying out of pocket?
The idea that two people can be compatible and never change for their entire lives is flawed in the first place.
I don’t think it’s personal failure if it entails people/places/things you cannot control. You cannot control the economy, so if it goes belly up and you file for bankruptcy it isn’t your personal failure. You cannot control your partner, so if they start being abusive, it’s not your personal failure to leave them. I think success is being able to adapt to what you can’t control, and failure is not living in reality and trying to make fetch happen.