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How can I assure myself that I can find a partner despite being chronically ill and disabled? (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Every time I encounter another problem with my body that a healthy person wouldn't have, I'm always tempted to think to myself that nobody would want a partner like me because they could just pick someone healthier and more capable. I'm in my early 20s and my health is already getting a little worse each year without any real way to stop it.

I could tell myself that my unique story is compelling, and that enduring all of this hardship has cultivated a more powerful mindset than mainstream materialism and hyperindividualism, and that anyone who shares my values would appreciate me for who I am, even if it means potentially foregoing wealth and luxury. But I just wish I had something more to go off of, something a little more than just blind hope.

I know that lacking confidence and having an external locus of control aren't helping at all, but I find that I can only feel confidence and control if I have a solid, well-reasoned belief that I can succeed and my actions are meaningful.

So, I'd really appreciate any success stories, those who found love despite having challenging medical issues, or any good arguments you might have. I don't think there will be any one thing that does it for me; every little bit will help. Thank you.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 22 hours ago* (last edited 22 hours ago)

My girlfriend has arthritis. She is often in pain, needs regular stretches and massages to get through a day. Her state varies. Some days he's fit, out, and about like a healthy person for hours. Towards the evening though, she can be very slow to get up the stairs. She has difficulties carrying heavy things and is pretty short to boot. She has a couple of other health problems as well. However, her charm and enthusiasm are outstanding. She has the ability to make everybody smile and encourages other people's ideas. Her skills in teaching meditation are also impressive. Personality can offset looks and physical deficiencies.

hyperindividualism, and that anyone who shares my values

The solution to this is community. If you join a community and demonstrate your ability to be useful, you will gain status and prove your worth as a partner.

lacking confidence

It's possible to develop that using personal mental spiritual development, as well as learning skills. Progress in these areas will help your confidence. You just have to put in the time to learn and practice.

in my early 20s

You're still young. I met the love of my life in my 40s.