this post was submitted on 11 Feb 2025
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Lmao we’re gonna get to watch eel-on-musk and all of his dipshit wünderkinds speedrun through all of the pitfalls a junior DBA / data engineer is liable to make, and they’re gonna do it on prod, and prod is the US government.
What could possibly go wrong
He's going to dedupe the social security databases, thinking that he's screwing over trans people because he thinks they are the only people who change their names... not realizing that the vast majority of married women have at least two names associated with their SSN.
Either a DELETE FROM or a DROP DATABASE if I had to guess
An
UPDATE
without aWHERE
clause that doesn't get noticed for a week or two. Your data's hosed and you can't really cope with reverting to your last known good backup. Bonus points if you haven't tested your recovery procedures recently. Then he runs around screeching about how the data is obviously fraudulent and he's a genius for finding it.Little Johnny Tables, the hero we didn't expect.
Oh I just curled up into a fetal ball at the thought of that...