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Hexbear, lemmygrad.ml and lemmy.ml are the "Tankie Triad".
Hexbear is the worst most extreme of them and lemmy.ml is the least which is why they've managed to avoid getting defederated from world (either that or because they're like the third largest instance behind only .world and SJW)
Hexbear is pretty widely defederated
A lot of .ml users and communities are there just because it was the only big instance much earlier on. I'm in no way a tankie but still use .ml a lot (a community I run is on there) because it was the first one I made and i'm too lazy to look into new instances or switch.
yeah the other two I definately agree with, but lemmy.ml is mostly tame.
It's all under the surface, the admins, mods and a good portion of users have just as extreme viewpoints, but tend to walk the line quite carefully to avoid being defederated by .world
All I heard of before is that lemmygrad is more "extreme" than hexbear? My instance defederates from lemmygrad, but federates with hexbear, I don't know the exact reason for this though.
I was in an instance that was like that, but since they even made a post justifying their stance on keeping the federation with hex, I just jumped ship.
Not having to deal with ml, grad and hex is so much better.
Huh yea that's kinda weird, but it's also fairly subjective or perhaps your instance admins "straw that broke the camels back" just happened to be coming from lemmygrad at the time. But still weird to defederate from one and not the other regardless of which one was first lol