this post was submitted on 19 Nov 2024
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Asklemmy
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my social butterfly mother taught me about a "fake-ness" that's worked well for me in situations like this: when you talk to them, follow every opportunity that reveals something about themselves (eg "you mentioned that you liked the color blue, i kinda like it too because of X, why do you like it?") and do it even if it bores you and you grasp at straw to keep the conversation going. people love talking about themselves and love it even more with an audience that seems into it and, at the end, either your crush will be dispelled or now your crush is aware of you.
if they act odd after that; then they don't feel the same way about you that you feel about them and move on. if they do feel the same way about you OR if they don't, but they still like you; they'll likewise look for an excuse to tell you more about themselves.
This dude just casually handing out the secret to being a good conversationalist. Ask questions, listen to the answers and follow them like a trail of breadcrumbs. All of a sudden you're having a conversation, and you won't be worrying about your courage
Which works great until the other person responds with 2-5 words max every time you ask a question (dating apps)
That's a good thing, imagine if you ended up with that person.
I do and have been but there's only so many times I can try
Yeah trying to have a conversation on a dating app is like pissing into the wind
Edit: interesting username, is that a reference to the old flash player gnash?
No it's something I came up with when I was 10 and it stuck. Not really a reference to anything
k
lmao
wot u think
ngl dat flips
brb ohio
Honestly at least that would convey a bit of personality lol
A good solution here is to ask open ended questions instead of ones with a yes or no etc answer and to talk about their interests.
So far it seems as though they're interested in nothing
There's nothing in their profiles about their interests?
At least in my age range most of the profiles are pretty generic, asking about stuff in them usually results in bare minimum generic responses or no response at all
Wow, that's pretty dire. I have tried dating apps and didn't really ever find much luck in them and started looking in places where dating isn't the goal instead like hobbies or common community spaces and slowly building relationships that way.
I've been thinking of doing that, tried some clubs in my area but it was mostly people in their 40s+
Kinda want to try get into climbing, I'm in the gym a lot anyway and I think most of them come with gym memberships too, I hear it's quite diverse but also not sure how social it is
Normal gym for sure feels like everyone wants to be left alone
Those people aren't a good match for you (or maybe anyone).
i'll never cease to be amazed at how much the old ways still work.