this post was submitted on 24 Jul 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Screw the bug, I want Salmo CHIM lore

[–] ICastFist 13 points 3 months ago (1 children)

After Induil Nerevar fought and defeated Dagoth Ur, he was betrayed by Almalexia and Vivec, who then took Nerevar's remains and burned it into fine ash. The sacred ash was stored in an urn, to be sent as a gift of conciliation with the Dwemer, but as they disappeared, the Tribunal had no further use for the ashes. Later, a small cadre of soldiers still loyal to Nerevar managed to steal the urn back. Hunted down, the soldiers did their best to hide the ashes in inconspicuous objects, such as sacks of flour and always asking for forgiveness to the dead demigod for such blasphemy. For long years, they endured.

After a particularly merry and foolish party, the loyal servants of Nerevar traded the sack that was carrying the ashes of their lord, thinking it was full of flour, for a barrel of fine nord mead. The realization of their mistake came too late, as the merchant was gone by ship the next morning.

Salmo, a high elf and baker by trade, was the final receptacle of the ashes of Nerevar. Some would say this has been long foretold in the Elder Scrolls, but the Moth Priests would consider gazing into the Scrolls for such mundane knowledge a blasphemy. Thus, Salmo, unaware of the contents of his most recent purchase, baked not only another batch of sweetrolls, but also one loaf of bread. He couldn't understand why he felt compelled to do so, but he did. Unlike his other pastries, this bread was for himself.

After his delivery to the West Weald Inn, he sat down on one of the tables, intrigued by how this bread turned out. Gray, harder than his other pastries and, strangely, lacking a smell. Finally, he took a bite.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago

The nereva-rye bread

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago

The bug is caused because Salmon zero sums upon eating bread and no current PC on earth can handle the effect of that happening.