thewitchslayer

All I can hear is 'criticize, criticize, criticize'!

I regret being the fastest sperm

One of my cats always plays with my wife's hair ties and then eventually puts them in their water bowl.

A different cat absolutely loves twist ties, probably because when he hits them on the floor they slide a little unpredictably.

And my other cat went nuts for foam earplugs. I used to work in a factory where you were required to wear them all the time so I would occasionally end up with some at home. His eyes would go huge and he would dig into whatever had them and get them out. He plays fetch, or rather used to since he doesn't much anymore, but his favorite fetch "toy" were the earplugs.

Initially I didn't want him to get a hold of them because I was worried he would swallow them but he just loved playing with them

Same with my wife and I. Seat doesn't move, only adjust rear mirror. The side mirrors are set up for her since it's minimal adjustment for me, it's not worth it unless I'm doing a long drive like 3+ hours

Same with Michigan. And yet he keeps showing up. What a coward

I can almost guarantee it is a standard Michigan plate. The tag should expire this year

The drones are fighting back

Dude, yesrerday my fucking manager claimed that a local high school has a litterbox because a student identifies as a cat. It was almost bar for bar the same fake story that Joe Rogan was saying months ago! I had to tell the other coworker in the room at the time that I'm almost positive that it's not true and where the lie comes from.

I remember the burning lap with the F1 car being the race that I couldn't beat as a kid. Now I'll have to go back and try it again

Allegedly

It's Hasan Piker aka Hasanabi

I'm not sure if they still do, but ALDI used to do this too. Not too sure about other stores but I've only seen it at ALDI here in Michigan