dandelion

joined 8 months ago
[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago

It sorta went the opposite for me, when I first started with a vegan diet I abstained from all substitutes and eventually I learned to use them to recreate foods I thought I wouldn't be able to eat again.

[–] [email protected] 45 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

Oh boy.

First of all, form good "sleep hygiene" habits, read: https://health.arizona.edu/sites/default/files/data/Sleep%20Hygiene.pdf

A lot of it is obvious, like go to bed at the same time every night (set a timer to get yourself reliable at first!), and wake up at the same time every morning. Give yourself more "sleep opportunity" than the hours you want to sleep so you actually get enough sleep (e.g. if you want to sleep 8 hours, maybe give yourself 10 hours in bed with the lights out).

Don't use screens several hours before bed, don't do anything but sleep in your bed, and wind-down before bed with something like reading a book (again, in a chair in another room, not in your bed).

Now for more advanced tips I've learned from dealing with insomnia:

A problem I have sometimes had is that tasks like meditation can actually cause me to become more alert, and it turns out meditation actually does cause insomnia.

When struggling with meditation related insomnia, I got lots of practice navigating falling asleep.

What I found most helpful was rather than focusing on an object in a meditation like way, to instead allow mind-wandering and rumination and to try to cultivate a lack of metacognitive awareness about that rumination. Basically, the opposite of meditation. Meditators will hopefully know what I mean by this - but basically, don't pay too much attention to what you are thinking, just get absorbed into the mind-wandering.

Sometimes if the mind-wandering leads to thoughts or feelings that are "strong" or engaging enough it can prevent me from sleeping, like when I'm anxious or my mind is preparing or rehearsing for an important event or the next day. In that case, a little bit of meta-awareness can be helpful to alert you to the need to redirect your rumination to something actively boring or benign.

In the most extreme instances, I visualize myself working in a factory performing a repetitive motion like pulling a level to operate a press. I essentially constantly try to pay attention to that mundane task and ensure that it remains mundane / uninteresting - just keep pulling the lever and keep paying attention to that task. This is akin to the counting sheep method, but I always found counting sheep too interesting or engaging of a task.

After hours of boredom I usually lose consciousness.

Sometimes I threaten myself with getting out of bed, and often in response I feel a resistance and that makes me realize how tired I actually am, and I threaten myself with doing something boring like sitting in a chair and staring at a wall. Sometimes that is enough to kick me out of my energized thinking into a milder / more boring and repetitive mind-wandering that leads to dreams and unconsciousness.

Sometimes I actually do have to get out of bed and do something, often I will stretch and if I'm not feeling overwhelmed with sleep that way, I find it helpful to exhaust myself with forearm planks - just hold until you can't anymore (you can also use a timer for 30 seconds or 60 seconds, whatever pushes you past comfort but all the way to failure), maybe try this a couple times. You will sweat and it's miserable the whole time, and you will be tired and want to crawl back into bed. That has helped me fall asleep really well before, and sometimes I think it's because the blood also gets into my muscles and somehow this helps me relax.

Anyway, hope this helps!

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Have you considered that your anger can have consequences for people on the other side, and that this can even be harmful - and that if you feel disgusted or upset about something it doesn't always give you the right to express that anger directly at someone?

I mean, I want to be sympathetic, I get how a corporate and sanitized internet can feel wrong and changes the kinds of community that are possible, e.g. young boys on Xbox live were known for saying vile things and riling one another up (as boys commonly do), but as someone who was also present in that culture at the time, not everyone felt at home or comfortable in that environment, and the bullying and culture often made me feel like I couldn't enjoy those games.

Sometimes tolerance and civility is a small price to pay in exchange for making spaces accessible to other people. That said, I'm not sure every space needs to be like this - so again, I want to be sympathetic here.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

ah yeah, good points - I'm just always wary of the way health fads misrepresent problems, e.g. organic foods being somehow a part of the solution for climate change, etc.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 day ago (8 children)

Why do you feel entitled to express anger or hatred toward people?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago (3 children)

that makes sense, especially as sugar is not particularly filling and refined carbs are less filling as well - so it's easier to accidentally eat too much

Still, the focus then would be on the metabolic impact and how refined the food is, theoretically something could be ultra-processed and not have too much sugar. Seems like the wrong kind of categorization, if that makes sense.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago (5 children)

that's helpful, thank you.

I guess a real question is whether there is anything actually bad about being ultra-processed, and what non-arbitrarily determines what is ultra-processed and thus bad?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 day ago (1 children)

“Who would want men playing in women’s sports?” Trump asked at the Drexel Hill, Pennsylvania, event, bringing up a topic that has been a mainstay of his campaign this year even though the only people who want to require men to play in women’s sports are generally in his own party. “They want it.”

“Who would want transgender operations for almost everybody in the world? They want that,” he said. This is not true. Democrats and trans rights advocates want to keep gender-affirming care accessible for those who want and need it. There are no instances of people being forced by Democrats to transition against their will.

“This is a sick group of people,” he continued. “I’m telling you, there’s a great evil in this. You know, we want to come together as a country, but there’s a lot of, there’s a lot of evil there.”

saved you a click

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

That does assume the kid has the time and resources to hang together a costume even if homemade. I was maybe a preteen when this happened, so that may have played into some adults' hesitancy to give me candy, but also looking back I just think the people in the neighborhood I was in had bad values. I also had zero time for a costume, I wasn't planning on trick-or-treating at all, and it was only because my friends were kind enough to invite me anyway.

But I would give candy to teens, adults, or kids regardless of whether they have a costume or not. :-)

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago

Are you, in your estimation, intelligent?

No. Particularly I get the impression other people get things faster than me, and I seem to have to do more cognitive labor than my peers. I guess I would ask what "intelligence" is, that seems like a difficult thing to quantify or answer.

Are you wise in the way you apply that intelligence? (interpretation yours)

No, I generally consider myself unwise. (It takes me a long time to learn from my mistakes or change self-destructive behaviors, etc. - it often feels like I have trouble "adulting".)

Do you view yourself as unique and individual, or as a data point on the spectrum of humanity?

Both, how else could it be? (We are both subjects and objects, unique but usually only slight variations of a theme.)

[–] [email protected] 61 points 2 days ago (2 children)

The only time I went without a costume as a kid was because I lived in a dysfunctional household and I was super stressed and didn't have enough time or support to plan a costume - so I threw on an oversized coat and went with my friends; some adults tried to give me trouble and refused me candy, and that was a bummer because I felt like I had failed ... anyway - I guess my point is that maybe some kids are being lazy or something, but you don't really know.

I personally would definitely give kids candy regardless, but I wish people would actually trick-or-treat where I live, it makes me so sad that nobody does.

133
submitted 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
 

Link to poll: https://www.dataforprogress.org/blog/2024/10/23/voters-prefer-candidates-who-are-supportive-of-transgender-rights-think-recent-political-ads-have-gotten-mean-spirited-and-out-of-hand

When voters are asked whether they are more inclined to support a candidate who backs transgender rights or one who opposes them, voters overwhelmingly choose the candidate in favor of transgender rights, by a margin of 21 points. This trend holds true among Independents, with a 19-point preference. Even 22% of Republicans indicate they are more likely to support a candidate who favors trans rights—a significantly higher percentage than the share of Democrats who would back a candidate opposing them.

Furthermore, voters showed frustration with the wave of anti-trans advertisements. When asked if they thought political attack ads against the transgender community have gotten mean spirited and out of hand, far more voters agree than disagree (+28 points). This finding holds true for independents (+23 points) as well, with even 31% of Republicans finding that there were too many political attack ads.

 

Just wondering for those who have seen it, what your thoughts are about the recent documentary Will & Harper.

 
 

I can't seem to shake imposter syndrome or doubts about whether I'm "trans" or whether I'm a woman, etc.

Just wondering what you all do when you feel that way, if you have any recommendations?

It makes me feel awful, there is so much commitment to a transition it feels like you have to be certain, but I just don't have constant certainty.

Sometimes I'll sit down and try to analyze it objectively, basically considering the "null hypothecis" - if I am not trans, then I would be cis, if I were cis then a certain set of things would be true (like, estrogen would probably not feel so great, testosterone would not make me depressed, etc.).

24
chkn dumpling soup (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
submitted 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
 

For chkn I shredded and baked some oyster mushrooms and baked some home-made seitan in a convection oven until it was poofy and crispy, which added a lot of flavor to the seitan (which I normally don't love because it has that distinct flavor that is hard to mask).

24
patty melt (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
 
 

Just wanted to put it on your radar in case you didn't know about the show (I only found out about it by accident). I think it's available on Netflix.

The show was written by an enby and the cast includes a trans man and Suzy Eddie Izzard.

 

Hello, I was wondering if anyone has recommendations for tools to help with digital detox / digital minimalism.

I struggle with mild impulsivity. Whenever I open my computer I almost automatically open a browser and check social media.

It used to be a problem primarily with Reddit and news sites, but since joining Lemmy my behavior has switched to regularly checking Lemmy.

I'm looking for any tools or advice, whether cognitive-behavioral or technical like browser extensions.

In the past I used the Firefox extension called Redirector to redirect myself from certain subreddits like /r/all to something more benign (I like /r/sewing or /r/books for example), and this intervention helped break up automatic behavior and was a kind of harm reduction: still feeding the impulsivity, but with healthier content.

I was wondering if there is something like Redirector that redirects randomly with some probability (like 20% of the time it redirects to the target you specify).

55
souvlakis (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
 

Made souvlakis on the grill. Tofu & red onion kebabs, tzatziki sauce, pita bread, gold potato fries, tomato, lettuce.

Marinade for tofu was red wine vinegar, lemon juice, olive oil, and fresh mint & oregano from the garden. Pressed the tofu then put in marinade for a few hours.

Then I put the tofu on skewers with red onion and grilled them: https://imgur.com/a/1kiMvfE

Tzatziki sauce was made with Kite Hill Greek-style yogurt (which IMO isn't rich enough, I would have made my own cashew based yogurt from scratch if I had the extra time). Also included minced garlic cloves, minced fresh dill and mint, coarsely grated cucumbers that were salted and then squeezed with a towel to remove liquid, and some lemon juice, olive oil, salt & pepper, etc.

Pita bread was made with freshly milled wheat berries (hard white, soft white, hard red, einkorn, and spelt berries). Also used a pre-ferment to reduce the amount of yeast I needed. Also cooked those on a cast-iron in the grill, which worked well.

A lot of work, but quite delicious.

What all have you been cooking recently?

155
submitted 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
 

ingredients:

  • beyond beef with onions & taco seasoning,
  • nacho cheez (homemade, the base is cashews, potato, and carrot),
  • pickled onion,
  • pickled jalapeno,
  • lettuce,
  • tomato,
  • flour burrito tortilla,
  • fried 6" corn tortilla for tostada, and
  • homemade cashew sour cream.

recipes to get you going the right direction (not all are vegan):

For the sour cream, I put 1 cup cashews with 1 TB vinegar (preferably something like sherry vinegar, ACV works too), maybe 1/4 tsp of salt (to taste), and enough water to get to the desired consistency ("as needed"). Blend in a high-powered blender like a Vitamix until smooth.

Can also inoculate with a yogurt culture and skip the vinegar and then ferment it if you have the time (use a yogurt maker and instructions, then ferment longer for a more sour flavor).

 

Hi, just wondering if anyone else has a similar struggle as me.

Sometimes when I'm thinking in my mind, I have a voice (I know not everyone experiences this, but it sounds common enough) and this "inner" narrative voice has habituated to a masculine sounding voice.

I have noticed when I'm feeling connected with my gender and it's easier to stick with a feminized voice when speaking aloud (i.e. to others, not internal), my internal voice is likewise easier to be subconsciously feminine as well.

Some days I have a really good gender day and I wake up the next morning and my mind has reverted back to that masculine-sounding voice in my head. This isn't necessarily inherently distressing as much as it can feel invalidating or make me feel doubt and cognitive dissonance, like I am not a valid woman because my unconscious has this masculine voice, or the internal masculine voice makes it harder to feel authentic using my feminine voice. Some mornings I try to consciously make it sound more feminine and that is helpful, but some mornings it can feel overwhelming or difficult to constantly correct that masculine voice, and the practice becomes a bit like when I try to use my feminine voice with others - an exercise that makes me feel inauthentic, fake, performative, and anxious.

So far the only real solution I have to these dual problems of habituation (for inner voice and outer) is to just keep trying and persist. I have a tendency towards perfectionism, which makes me feel constantly like I am failing, and this can lead me to feel less motivated to keep trying. However, I am continuing to make an effort. I find having a weekly speech therapy appointment keeps me engaged in that process, and from letting it drop due to other pressures. It also usually makes me feel extremely affirmed, as my therapist is much happier with my progress than I am, and this usually results in finding using my femme voice easy and natural (though usually this only lasts the rest of the day, again, sleeping seems to reset everything and the next morning I wake up with a masculine voice again).

Was wondering if anyone else has habituated their inner narrative voice, how long it took for them to do that (or if they just stopped noticing or it became less relevant?), and if anyone has tips for overcoming the anxiety of using your voice in everyday situations.

I feel like forcing myself over and over into the situations has been effective in reducing how anxious I feel. Over time it has gone from feeling like I almost physically couldn't do it and a rising panic sensation to now it just feels like a bit of performance anxiety right before and I usually slip into it without too much issue - though sustaining it over a long period when speaking a lot can be challenging, and how anxious I feel seems connected to how confident I feel in my gender.

So to summarize, things that have worked for me:

  • noticing masculine inner narrative voice and willfully feminizing it in my head when I notice
  • persisting in forcing myself to feminize my voice at work and in public full-time, even when it is terrifying and just continuing to get regular exposure and ignoring the anxiety that is there
  • building confidence in my gender with styling my hair, wearing jewelry, putting on makeup, wearing feminine clothes, etc. help a little with getting on-board with using a feminine voice (I think of it as I have to pass to myself before I feel like I can try to pass with others, so finding ways to look more like your gender to yourself to build confidence will help with using your voice)

Wondering if anyone else has experiences to share or advice.

Thank you!

38
Borscht (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
 

Adapted from this recipe:

https://ifoodreal.com/ukrainian-borscht/

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