this post was submitted on 08 Feb 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

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[–] [email protected] 86 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (2 children)

This would be way funnier if the age was revealed at the end.

be me
balls deep in milf
guy catches me
drags me out of bed by my foot
cuts my dick with a knife
couldn't walk for 2 years
0 yo

[–] [email protected] 33 points 9 months ago

My eyes skipped right over the 0 yo part, and it was quite droll

[–] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago

Couldn’t walk for 2 years is a good enough hint that it’s a newborn.

[–] [email protected] 77 points 9 months ago (4 children)

You just call your own mom a milf...?

[–] [email protected] 68 points 9 months ago

Hell yeah, my mom’s a milf. A matriarchal introducer of love and fun.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Just for good meassure I've searched the term and it seems like people kind of forgot it's an acronym. Most definitions just say 'attractive older woman'.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (2 children)

Which is what I thought cougar described. Kids these days!

Edit: this has created a short comment chain that I adore..

[–] [email protected] 24 points 9 months ago (1 children)

No, a cougar is specifically on the prowl for fresh, young meat.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 19 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 19 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago

well, yes! Hurry up! Get your cougar!

[–] nieceandtows 22 points 9 months ago

I thought cougar was for women actively hunting for prey.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Even older part isn't relevant anymore. A 22 year old with a toddler is called milf.

THAT'S NOT WHAT IT MEANS.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] -1 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Nope.

MILF is someone who is considered attractive by peers of her children. Think Stacey's mom. So the theoretical milf can't be younger than 30.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago (1 children)

You're right. American Pie corroborates your findings.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

Of course it does. That was when the word still hadn't lost its meaning.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 9 months ago

His name is Oedipus.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago

Freud thought so

[–] [email protected] 31 points 9 months ago

I bet you also cried. What a cuck

[–] [email protected] 29 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Didn’t learn to walk until age 2?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 9 months ago

What, you think he came outta the pussy drawing Mozart? At age 6, he was born without a mouth.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 9 months ago (4 children)

cuts my dick with a knife

...what?

[–] [email protected] 71 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Male genital mutilation, or Circumcision in American English

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago

Ah, got it. Thanks.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 9 months ago

In America and other Muslim countries, they mutilate the genitals of baby boys upon being born

[–] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago (1 children)

First step of being a real man is getting your dick cut clean off. Everybody knows that

[–] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago (1 children)

A real man would never have had the dick to begin with.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 9 months ago

your body is touching a dick 24/7. super gay

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

Circumcision

[–] [email protected] 16 points 9 months ago

what is this google ass font

[–] [email protected] 12 points 9 months ago

Calls his own mom a milf. Most sane 4channer.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago

That is NOT a proper Haiku. 5-7-5, dude!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago
[–] [email protected] 0 points 9 months ago

Is the MHLF....his own?