this post was submitted on 03 Feb 2024
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Gaming

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[–] [email protected] 151 points 9 months ago (3 children)

Turns out every game sounds bad if you purposefully describe it badly.

[–] [email protected] 39 points 9 months ago (4 children)

I mean, this is the essence of 95% of GTA missions. Just like 95% of RPG missions are a variation of clear dungeon, kill boss, retrieve item.

[–] [email protected] 55 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Platformers are just running and jumping towards the right and repeating.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Old school ones. Anything half modern lets you go left as well.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago (4 children)

But the goal is always to the right (counting metroidvanias as their own genre)

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 9 months ago

"clear dungeons, kill boss, retrieve item" is just "go from a to b, kill x at b, go from b to c"

[–] Lmaydev 14 points 9 months ago

The key is making the dungeon/boss fun. The quests are just to lead you through the content.

If you don't like fighting through dungeons and fighting bosses then the game may not be for you.

Like with GTA getting to places needs to be enjoyable.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago

And taking out 99% of the rest of the game built around the basic skeleton structure makes it sound bleak and boring.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Start game
Make number go up
Become better at making number go up
Make number go up more

Somehow almost every game ever made

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

https://xkcd.com/722/

Hmm, reminds me of Hollywood hackers.

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[–] [email protected] 100 points 9 months ago (4 children)

This is every game for the people that skip dialog and cutscenes.

Now do a recap of a TV show, except skip all the parts where they aren't shooting a gun or stuff isn't exploding. I don't get that TV show, nothing had any context and there was no motivation or lessons to learn, stuff just randomly exploded from being shot at.

[–] [email protected] 33 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Now do a recap of a TV show, except skip all the parts where they aren't shooting a gun or stuff isn't exploding

The Office would be pretty short

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Even the most shooty->explodey TV show there is would be pretty short if you skipped all the good parts.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

Independence Day.

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[–] [email protected] 54 points 9 months ago (1 children)

85% of my time in GTA is spent driving like a jackass for fun.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (3 children)

Username reminds me of a Bash.org quote:

#265532 + (6778) - [X]

SABDO: on one of those speech-to-text programs my friend ripped ass onto the mic.

SABDO: and it typed out "France"

SABDO: we were like, wtf?

Bash.org Archive

Edit: I think I commented on the incorrect comment. Oh well.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago

So glad Bash.org got archived!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago

There's an archive?! My life just got a lot better.

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[–] [email protected] 40 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Pretty sure Minecraft was the most profitable game of all time.

And you can be that reductive for pretty much all games. Run right and jump on mushrooms. Watch shapes rotate and fall. Punch cubes. Three of the other most profitable games of all time.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Minecraft is the highest selling game (beating out GTA V by 110 million units sold source), but it's not the most profitable. GTA does have it beat there ($9.9 billion vs $3.3 billion). Though CoD has them both beat at $31 billion (source).

[–] [email protected] 19 points 9 months ago (1 children)

CoD as a FRANCHISE beats them both, but you have to keep in mind that metric for GTA V and Minecraft are indeed, for single video games.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 9 months ago

That's true (to be even more precise, the GTA metric is also for the franchise...which GTAV makes up $8.5 billion of >.>). How about Candy Crush at $20 billion?

[–] [email protected] 31 points 9 months ago

"This game named after a crime involving cars involves too much driving and crime"

[–] [email protected] 24 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (8 children)

start game

go from A to B

press button/scan object

go from B to C

solve 3rd grade puzzle

go from C to D

scan object and defend while npc does things

optionally sneak from D to E

repeat until the game is over

And the best part is, I'm sure nobody even knows what game I'm talking about, but they think they might have it narrowed to 3 or 4.

Some of my favorite games on the planet are literally "wander around opening doors" and "go to a place to solve simple puzzles, press some buttons, and don't die"

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (3 children)

It's literally every game. The only thing being omitted is the how and why adding flavor and context to going from A to B.

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

It's Tetris, right? It's gotta be Tetris.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

ME Andromeda?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago (1 children)

live in point A

something calls someone away to point B

in order to change it back they have to sacrifice something important

return to point A

they are changed as well

and the best part nobody even knows which story I'm talking about

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

Star Trek Online is what comes to mind immediately for me

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

I was gonna say it couldn't be Hunt Showdown, but it actually fits pretty well, minus the friendly NPC. Start game, collect clues, fight the boss, wait for the banish and try to defend, then take the boss token to the extract, all while trying not to die from enemy players. Of course the enemy players make it exciting, and I guess that's why I'm not that into single player games.

How else can you create a good player experience while not alienating casual players though?

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[–] [email protected] 22 points 9 months ago (3 children)

At least Vice City had fun missions like dropping bombs in trashcans with the world’s most fickle RC helicopters

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago (1 children)

"fun"... yeah, not exactly a word I'd use to describe that mission.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

Not sure if they fixed it in the PC port, but I enjoyed it when I played it last. I think I failed the mission only once, if at all?

I imagine they reduced the number of enemies or their aggro range, or raised the timer by a ton

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago (2 children)

That's San Andreas. I loved all their missions and even though they also could be reduced to only, driving, flying and shooting they all felt distinct and memorable.

Invading Madd Dogg's mansion and stealing lyric book and delivering it back OG Loc who had a party in your hood was fun. Stealing jetpack for a hippy, burying alive someone in construction site while they are in portable toilet, doing heists with Catalina, all that was fun.

I can't seem to recall a single GTA 4 or 5 mission / moment truly memorable besides the line "Causin, let's go bowling". Maybe it's all related to when I played SA and probably my memory was better then.

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 9 months ago

L take. GTA5 is a solid game. Never cared for online tho

[–] [email protected] 14 points 9 months ago

You've just described nearly all action, adventure, and shooter games.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

You can go to a virtual titty bar and see virtual titties.

Point A is not the titty bar and point B is the titty bar. That's why it's number 1. It's also why you're murdering everything in your way and trying to get to B as fast as possible. Because it's a titty bar.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 9 months ago

I don't understand why anyone would want to travel between point A and B and point B and A. Can't they just make up their mind about where they want to be?

I just want to live at point D and spend a pleasant amount of time at point E

[–] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Hate to say it, but it’s because it’s fun. I haven’t played in ages but despite it not being my kind of game (I’m usually a fallout kind of guy), I really loved playing through it. I enjoyed it enough that when the next one comes out, I’ll likely finally buy a current gen console.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago (1 children)

So instead you like going on a mission, getting distracted and killing a bunch of people/ghouls/irradiated creatures and managing inventory ( I do too).

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago
[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

Sir the rest of us were ignoring the mission trying to see how many cops could chase us at once and also how many of them we could murder when we let them catch up. Then they went online with it and people started wearing the game like a suit.

That may explain things.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

Facts. Boring as fuck

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