this post was submitted on 26 Jan 2024
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[–] [email protected] 274 points 9 months ago (10 children)

This kinda shit is at least part of the reason the fastest growing religion in America is “none.”

[–] [email protected] 105 points 9 months ago (3 children)

Exactly! They know their book says "love your neighbor" and care for the widow, the orphan & the stranger, but they don't even vaguely do anything like that.

[–] [email protected] 58 points 9 months ago (9 children)

And our most famous monument says “give me your tired, your hungry, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free”

But I guess that only belongs to Texans who have had that freedom their whole life and are threatened by others seeking the same thing.

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[–] [email protected] 265 points 9 months ago (5 children)

If there’s one thing Jesus was consistent about, it’s that poor refugees seeking shelter should be ruthlessly murdered by drowning in a river tangled in razor wire.

Pretty sure that’s in the gospels.

[–] [email protected] 64 points 9 months ago (2 children)

I believe that's in the book of Donald, 6:66

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[–] [email protected] 30 points 9 months ago

Matthew 25:31-40, as I recall.

Oh wait, this is from the Opposite Bible.

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[–] [email protected] 105 points 9 months ago (7 children)
[–] [email protected] 75 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 20 points 9 months ago

Al Shabubba.

[–] [email protected] 49 points 9 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 37 points 9 months ago

Gravy Seals

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[–] [email protected] 42 points 9 months ago (2 children)
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[–] [email protected] 38 points 9 months ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 24 points 9 months ago

Yeehaw-dists

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[–] [email protected] 105 points 9 months ago (3 children)

Most likely scenario is that they drive around in their trucks waving both flags of the US and flags of traitors to the US, block traffic, and post to Facebook.

Worst case scenario, there is a wave a of hate crimes as these hyped up fascists try to "defend America" by picking fights with any random brown person they see.

Best case scenario, they try messing with federal agents, get arrested, and wont be voting in November.

[–] [email protected] 33 points 9 months ago (8 children)

My best case scenario has a trebuchet for them

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[–] [email protected] 105 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Y'all Queda is mobilizing.

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[–] [email protected] 93 points 9 months ago (5 children)

This honestly feels like a Russian intelligence op. Not that these yokels are Russian spies, but that they've been duped by misinformation, spun up my Russian troll farms, and aimed at the southwest border.

They are dumb enough to do the rest on their own.

[–] [email protected] 38 points 9 months ago

"Useful idiots" was the KGB's term.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Russians are adding fuel to the fire, but they didn't start it.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 9 months ago (1 children)

most this stuff comes out of nutters like Alex Jones that think they get secret info from god and profess to fighting a war with satan while they do coke every night.

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[–] [email protected] 84 points 9 months ago (6 children)

There's so much fucking crazy in just the first two paragraphs of that article:

A trucker convoy of “patriots” is heading to the U.S. border with Mexico next week, as the standoff between Texas and the federal government intensifies. The organizers of the “Take Our Border Back” convoy have called themselves “God’s army” and say they’re on a mission to stand up against the “globalists” who they claim are conspiring to keep U.S. borders open and destroy the country.

“This is a biblical, monumental moment that’s been put together by God,” one convoy organizer said on a recent planning call. “We are besieged on all sides by dark forces of evil,” said another. “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the sons of God. It is time for the remnant to rise.” (The remnant, from the Book of Revelation, are the ones who remain faithful to Jesus Christ in times of crisis).

[–] [email protected] 21 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I’m a pagan so maybe I’m misinterpreting but I did read the Bible in catholic school and I’m pretty sure Jesus said to do the opposite of this. I’m pretty sure he’d be saying that we should see each family as though they were Jose, Maria, and their baby Jesus as no different than Yusef, Miriam, and Ieshiua 2000 years ago. I’m pretty certain that was in fact his entire point though he’d also be saying that single 20 year old men also should be welcomed because they’re either good or lost and able to be redeemed.

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Why on earth would "peacemakers" need the probably mobile armories those idiots are carrying?

[–] [email protected] 30 points 9 months ago

It's doublespeak, a la 1984. In this case many of the words used are inversions of their usual meaning.

I'll provide some translations:

patriots -> seditionists

biblical -> cloaked in the authority of God – which here must be explicitly stated because their actions are opposed to any God of justice

open boarders -> following legal and ethical principles (remember, these people oppose ethical principles)

peacemakers -> those who use violence, or the threat of violence, to obstruct peace. See also, terrorists

besieged by dark forces of evil -> opposed by morality, ethics, or the law. The addition of "on all sides" changes the 'or' to 'and'

As a bonus, "globalists" is antisemitism. There's an old canard that justice for minorities = communism = Jewish conspiracy. This is particularly common among nazis. The convoy organizer is signaling that their group is accepting of these ideas

[–] [email protected] 19 points 9 months ago

Fucking brain dead morons sacrificing their livelihoods for the party that is actively blocking any action on securing the border.

That’s the whole game, create problems and stop progress so you can claim that you are the only group capable of solving it. This is just an op to try and smear the Ds

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[–] [email protected] 81 points 9 months ago (6 children)

I'm no theist, but... If God existed, and was all-powerful as theists believe, why the fuck does he need an army?

[–] [email protected] 25 points 9 months ago

Just like when JT Kirk said, "What does God need with a trucker convoy?"

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[–] [email protected] 68 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Lol, it always comes back to an intellectually deficient group of morons and their baseless deity.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Yes, the army of God here to (checks notes) be absolutely monstrous fuckheads to their neighbors, just as Jesus teaches...

"And the Lord said unto thee: fuck those brown skinned mofos, they don't even pay taxes!"

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[–] [email protected] 66 points 9 months ago (3 children)

Army Of "Wouldn't Recognize God If He Got In The Passenger Seat."

That's who they really are.

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[–] [email protected] 53 points 9 months ago

Lol buncha incels. Grown ass men who have families and shit to do, even if they share the same politics, wouldnt be caught dead doing this shit.

Same group of morons pretended to be truckers in Canada to protest vaccination mandates.

[–] [email protected] 49 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Ads for the convoy have gone up on 40 digital billboards in Florida, Texas, Louisiana, and California, courtesy of a “private donor” whose identity organizers would not disclose. 

Oh, I'm willing to bet:

It's six letters.

Starts with an R

Ends with an A

And is currently getting absolutely decimated with mothballed weapons we last used 15 years or so ago.

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[–] [email protected] 49 points 9 months ago (8 children)
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[–] pan_troglodytes 44 points 9 months ago (5 children)

the major downside of increased access to communications technology is the nutters and crazy people more easily congregate...

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[–] [email protected] 34 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Ffs can you lot just have your civil war already so the rest of us can deal with the fall out

[–] [email protected] 38 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (3 children)

Wont even be a civil war. National guard will fall in line and in the event of Texas actually seceding from the Union, they will find out exactly how much money the US sinks into their state to keep it afloat while their own elected officials flee the first power grid failure

[–] [email protected] 19 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (2 children)

Honestly as a non yank I'm bored just do the fucking thing and let the world get on with it.

Deal with your fuckwits or let them roll over you (and yhe rest of us)

I'm just sick of the will the won't they and I say that as someone who has to deal with Boris Johnsons ilk

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[–] [email protected] 33 points 9 months ago (5 children)
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[–] [email protected] 27 points 9 months ago

Sounds an awful lot like levying war against the United States, or adhering to their enemies, giving them aid and comfort.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Ah yes, its right there in the Bible for anyone to read....... Only it isn't.

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[–] [email protected] 26 points 9 months ago (2 children)

All of that military jargon, and I'll bet the number of actual vets in that convoy is a small percentage.

Not that there aren't MAGA ex-military, just that they don't as much get a kick out of cosplaying as such. If they liked it that much, they wouldn't have ETSed. Or, dishonerable discharge; I guess there could be a few of those.

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[–] [email protected] 24 points 9 months ago (5 children)

I am willing to lay a bet that they completely fuck this up.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 9 months ago

Minivans tangled in razor wire.
Road warriors in their pavement princesses sunk into the Rio.
Immigrants crossing elsewhere.

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 9 months ago (5 children)

I prefer the original Arabic name, Hezbollah.

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 9 months ago

These guys probably don't hate Illinois Nazis.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 9 months ago
[–] [email protected] 18 points 9 months ago

God wants brown people to drown and suffer.

THIS IS WHAT THEY LITERALLY BELIEVE

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