this post was submitted on 04 Jan 2024
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Hydro Homies

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Water is great

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[–] [email protected] 71 points 10 months ago (7 children)

What if water is also the oldest nickname and its been so long that we forgot what the real name was

[–] [email protected] 28 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (2 children)

Anyone who discovers water's actual name would have total power over it and command all the seas. Turns out water was actually an eldritch demon whose only purpose was to create a legion of legions of living creatures entirely dependent on it for their survival. One day the being that is water will be ready and their grander plans will see us all conquering the stars.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago (1 children)

He’s gonna say that a lot.

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Probably was like walterburg fluid and eventually simplified to waduh

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

That's actually speculated to be the case with the word "bear." There was a superstition that saying its true name might summon it.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago
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[–] [email protected] 27 points 10 months ago (1 children)

ITT: the reason water doesn't have a nickname.

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[–] [email protected] 27 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I've heard a few old timers call it "Adam's Ale", so it has at least one

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[–] [email protected] 25 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Fun fact: one of the oldest languages with an interpretation of the word "water" is Sumerian from over 3500 years ago.

It was pronounced "ay"

(like Fonzi, not eye)

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago

I’m betting there are many languages which predate that (which we don’t know of) that all have words for water.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 10 months ago

You never heard a white guy mishandle some Spanish and call it "Aw Gwa"?

[–] [email protected] 18 points 10 months ago
[–] [email protected] 15 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (2 children)

H2flOw (stolen from my wife)

[–] [email protected] 23 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago

Ooooh. My wife is apparently a comedy thief.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (5 children)

~~Give your wife a high five for me. This one is solid.~~

Apparently, this is @[email protected] 's wife.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago

You mean, a fivy?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago

No no, it's liquid.

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 10 months ago

I'd a mate that called it council pop.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 10 months ago (1 children)

It was grandfathered in from when there was no competition, and therefore no need for nicknames. "I need a drink" simply meant water. The beverage.

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 10 months ago
[–] [email protected] 11 points 10 months ago (1 children)

People buy so many different fancy drinks... For me just tap is enough.

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 10 months ago (1 children)

In Scotland it's called "Cooncil Juice"

[–] [email protected] 15 points 10 months ago (1 children)

The Dutch use "gemeente pils" which means local government beer. So that is pretty similar.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 10 months ago (2 children)

True, but there shouldn't be a space between the words. Gemeentepils

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 10 months ago

Some of that double-H O

[–] [email protected] 9 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Faucet dew? Plumbweiser? No water puns in Englishland?

Edit: Fountain dew!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 10 months ago

Good ol' "Wawa."

[–] [email protected] 8 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago
[–] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago (2 children)

When my little sister was about 3 she would only drink juice. One night i grabbed the juice pitcher, an empty jar and pretended too mix up some juice for her (we always had the frozen juice concentrate), as i poured a glass for her she asked what kind of juice is was. I said 'it is clear juice.'

I am in my 40s now, and she still asks me if i want a glass of clear juice.

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Pretty sure the nickname it gets is "H20"

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago

A molecule with 20 hydrogens?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago

Wawa? H²0? The drink (golf term)?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Round where I'm from (north of England) people call it "council pop". I suppose the equivalent for the US would be "EPA soda" or "state cola" or something.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago

It's been called Adam's Ale since at least 1643 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adam%27s_ale

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago

Liquid life is nice, but the only time I heard it was when referring to coffee.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago

Gimme some of that cleary deary

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Gimme a chug of the ole fish breath

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago

"Water? Never touched the stuff. Fish fuck in it."

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago (2 children)

I mean, I say gimme a glass of h2o. I mean... I know it's the atoms but it's kinda a nickname.

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago (1 children)

You could take the old 'would you support a ban on dihydrogen monoxide' thing a bit further and end up with:

Dihymo. (Die-Hai-Mo)

There ya go. Dumb nickname for water.

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago

Coochie juice lol

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