this post was submitted on 17 Jul 2023
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Asklemmy

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[–] [email protected] 91 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Cruelty towards those who are relatively weaker or indeed defenceless - children, the elderly, partners, animals.

Abusing service / customer-facing staff fits in to this as well and is at once particularly revealing and particularly damning. Next time you’re out and about with friends or a love interest watch how they treat (or talk about) e.g. the person at a ticket booth or the person waiting on tables - if they’re nasty to them (or about them), imagine what they might be like behind closed doors (and how they might treat you one day).

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Abusing service / customer-facing staff fits in to this as well and is at once particularly revealing and particularly damning.

Whenever a customer is rude to me I just remember that they're probably compensating for how terrible their own lives are. If it was actually an issue on my part then one of my coworkers would've told me by now. Makes it way easier to move on with my day.

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[–] [email protected] 51 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (6 children)

Being perfectly fine not knowing something and not caring to get answers aka willful ignorance.

Why don't you want to know?!!! How is it that the thought proceding "I don't know" is not immediately "but I want to find out"?! We can't know everything but we have so many answers at our fingertips. As if you don't want to absorb as much of it as you can?!

It immediately makes me think that the person I am speaking to is not worth my time. Chances are, the more they're willfully ignorant about, the more likely they'll also not care about how their actions affect others. Major red flag for me.

Edit: I should've mentioned I was thinking of particular types of situations where the person has the mentality of "oh man, I don't know, it'd be cool to know that" and proceeds to not do anything about it or when they are regurgitating something they heard on foxnews with such blind conviction without bothering to look into it further

[–] [email protected] 33 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I understand the sentiment, but there are things not worth knowing. I don't care who was drafted in 1987 by the San Diego NFL team. I don't care about the extras who appear in the 1957 film Witness for the Prosecution. I don't care what you had for breakfast. My point is, I think your issue is less about curiosity, but of values. People who don't value the things you care about, or worse, don't even value the things they purport to care about.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You're right. Sorry, I should've mentioned I was thinking of particular types of situations where the person has the mentality of "oh man, I don't know, it'd be cool to know that" and proceeds to not do anything about it.

Or like you say, having strong convictions about something but not having done the reading themselves. I don't mind listening to opposing opinions if they actually believe them and didn't just regugitate something they heard on foxnews.

I think in most cases, curiosity is what drove human development to such heights. And to just stop it at "oh yeah, I dunno hey" takes a very particular type of person... A type of person I just can't understand!

Thanks for pointing that out though, I hadn't quite fully figured out how to articulate what I was trying to say!

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

God this is everyone I know.

I have friends that will literally say something that they just plucked out their arse and when I have the audacity to question it, or even if worse attempt to find the answer online I’ll be called out for fact checking.

I’m dumbfounded like y’all just want to operate without facts and just say what you want and people should believe it?

Edit: To your point I think that no, they don’t care to know. The vast majority of people have zero curiosity and I find it weird. These are the same people that are bored all the time but seemingly do nothing.

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[–] [email protected] 42 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (6 children)

Cutting others off excessively. It's normal when you're in a large enough group for there to be some overlap, but some people do it constantly and are only interested in hearing themselves speak. Makes being around them impossible since I often have trouble speaking up anyways.

Edit: I took instantly to mean on first meeting them, so I may have interpreted the question wrong lol

Edit2: I also should've been a bit more careful with my words, as this kind of behavior can be attributed to an anxiety response and isn't always done out of apathy. I really apologize if I offended anyone by overgeneralizing.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

The behavior often indicates they are not very balanced in general and are over expressing themselves kinda like a coping mechanism. If they realize that it is happening, they are probably quite uncomfortable with it too.

I didn't have issues with stuff like this before I was disabled. After spending most of the last 10 years in near total isolation, I have a hard time shutting up any time anyone is willing to talk with me IRL. The worst part is that I'm usually trying my best to mask my level of pain and I go down hill fast. By the end of an average casual conversation I'm down to half the wit needed to end the conversation gracefully, and my graceful half has already left.

After watching how people dealt with covid isolation, I think I have handled it pretty well. Now I have a lot more empathy for people dealing with this kind of social anxiety. It's still annoying as hell, even when I am the one doing it, but understanding the condition helps blunt my angst.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago

Hey, that's fair. I hadn't considered that in casting this net I could be catching people who are quite anxious and speaking to fill the silence. Admittedly I am saying this with a handful of specific people I've met in mind, and in their particular cases it was more reflective of their narcissistic tendencies than any sort of anxious response, but I realize in retrospect that it can also be coping behavior. I hope I didn't offend either way, and I'll keep this in mind in the future.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago

I used to do this to everyone, all the goddamned time. Then I got diagnosed with ADHD and I become a lot more self-aware of my behaviors.

I worked so fucking hard to learn ways to get ahead of or sidestep my urges. Now when other people do it around me it irritates me way, way more than it ever did before.

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[–] [email protected] 38 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (24 children)

Capitalist rent-seeking. Feeling entitled to make a profit off doing nothing except buying a resource other people need, because you already have enough money to do this. Maybe "despise a person beyond belief" is a bit strong, but I hate that people do this, and I hate that it's condoned and even admired in capitalist societies.

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[–] [email protected] 37 points 1 year ago (3 children)

People who are unable to control their anger. Especially if they let it go into shouting and being physical.

I get being angry. We have all felt furious for various reasons. But nothing good will come from throwing a tantrum. Behaving like an unstable manchild will only make me loose my respect for you.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

One can't let themselves be defined by what's done to them, only what they've done in response. Those who act like toddlers in response to life's obstacles should be treated as such, while those who react calmly and constructively are exhibiting virtue, and will probably get further as well.

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[–] [email protected] 35 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Celebrity worship. If you spend all your time on instagram or TikTok following the latest trends and being emotionally affected by the behavior and actions of a “celebrity”, then we probably have nothing in common and I probably don’t want to have a conversation with you.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I said this in another post and i got accused of thinking I'm better than someone who watches celebs.

:)

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago

You don't have to say it, I will.

You are measurably better than someone who worships celebrities.

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[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Being rude to restaurant servers and retail workers just because you can. Instantly flips my opinion on anyone who does this.

Also people who litter. It’s amazingly selfish.

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[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 year ago

Any kind of snobbery/looking down on people - especially if it's based on income or occupation.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Narcissism and superiority complexes are the two main showstoppers for me.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

That last U.S. president was a great example

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[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 year ago (12 children)

Despise beyond belief? Hurting animals. Hunting and fishing are fine, I'm talking about kicking puppies type thing

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[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 year ago (2 children)

When people get offended on behalf of others, especially when their stupidity harms the people they claim to be offended for.

Case in point, the Hogwarts Legacy situation. It made trans people look unhinged by association, even though the seemingly vast majority of them were cis progressives.

And if I as a trans person mention how I don't feel represented and don't appreciate what they are doing? Suddenly I'm a Russian troll or something. So stupid.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I think you make a good point that over reacting to perceived offenses can make the "victims" look bad, but the idea that only those who identify as the victim have any right to speak on it is nonsense. I'm a white person but I'm going to call out racism when I see it because to my view of a just society, that racism cannot be allowed. I have nobody in my life that is trans and the current right wing war against trans people doesn't affect me at all, but I'm still going to be an ally and stand against it.

And honestly anyone who blamed trans people for the harry potter game backlash likely wasn't a fan of trans people to begin with. I wouldn't worry so much about their opinion.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

You must be like all other trans people or we can't put a label on you. Didn't you get the memo sent out from Trans Headquarters?

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 year ago (2 children)
  • people who are irrationally argumentative. Even when they agree with you, their sentence starts with "No, " and it drives me nuts

  • people who litter, especially people who litter with a bin in sight. People who let their dog shit and walk away I guess also fall under this category

  • people who hate others because of their sexuality, gender or race

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[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (6 children)

Not being aware of others and how your actions and being affect them.

Very simple example: fuckers who walk towards you on a sidewalk and don’t even blink (edit: I meant think but this is funny nonsense lol) about moving an inch to the side to avoid hitting you. Like looking straight past you not budging even a bit…

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[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I learned that my boss's boss has never changed a diaper and he has three children. My opinion of him instantly hit rock bottom.

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 year ago (4 children)

The only thing I can remember is this person who bragged about buying few domain-names and just waiting them to go up in price. I can almost understand companies issuing SSL certs selling domains, or having some services along those domains.

But in this instance it was a national domain, meaning the state handled the top-level domain and all infrastructure and work related to keeping tabs on the domain names. What they did was buy general words when they were cheap and popular, and just sat on the domain name for all this time. They still haven’t done fuck all with any of them, just waiting someone else to go through with the business plan they thought for five seconds some decade ago, and then extort that company for money.

So taking limited resources as a speculative investment is the only thing. Generally any form of investment where you expect to extract money for doing absolutely nothing except having an idea and paying some of your pre-existing money to hoard it.

You aren’t even inventing an idea at that point. Infact, you are relying on the idea being obvious enough that someone in the future will actually do something along those lines. It’s not an innovation. Absolutely nothing happened outside your own head until you swooped in to charge a fee on someone that actually did something.

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 year ago

Hating minorities or believing in a one party system of governance.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 year ago (3 children)

The slightest hint of financial superiority. Snobbery, if you will.

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[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 year ago (14 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

Only birds allowed are amputee birds

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago

Littering, or any other type of casual damage to the environment.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago

I suspect a lot of yall should say this:

There is nothing worse than seeing my own flaws reflected in someone. Like, if they're a lazy neckbeard who talks about niche media and old-sci-fi while contributing nothing to society.

Especially the flaws i had when i was younger. I die a bit every time i see an unaware selfish arrogant teenager.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Bigotry.

Well, maybe except "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know / didn't think that this is shitty thing to say", these at least can be educated

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago

People who hurt animals or tease them to annoy them to get a good laugh. If I'm ever in a situation weather to save the animal or that person, the person does not get saved.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago

Narcissism. Instantly 100% less of a valid person when you can’t see outside yourself.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Manipulative ones. How do people not feel dirty when lying, coercing, and threatening to get what they want?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago

Not being able to admit when you are wrong.

Also not apologising. For example when people don't say sorry for being late.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Thinking your opinion/ethics have a high ground compared to others

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago

To be fair though, some ethical views do have a high ground to others. People against murder have the high ground over people ok with it for example. People against dog fighting or any other form of animal abuse have the high ground over people ok with it.

Any time there's a victim being harmed, people ok with the injustice have lost the high ground

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

"What you want is..."

I want people to stop telling me what I want.

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