this post was submitted on 30 Nov 2023
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

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2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

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Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

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6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

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[–] [email protected] 155 points 1 year ago (3 children)

record scratch

You're probably wondering how I got here.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Fuck. Just spit coffee out in bed

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)

This is the photographic equivalent of Lewis Black's "if it wasn't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college."

It doesn't make sense at first, but your brain has to rationalize it so it comes up with a plausible explanation. It doesn't have the context to know if that's the right explanation, so while you're driving to work and going about your day it's still trying to process this in the background, quietly pushing you toward an aneurism years later.

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[–] [email protected] 86 points 1 year ago (1 children)

As a developer I can only say: no matter how foolproof you make your product, you will always encounter that one special user.

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[–] [email protected] 53 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Many women think this is what men do in the toilet.

[–] [email protected] 46 points 1 year ago (1 children)

As someone with a penis, I can confirm this is exactly what we do in the toilet

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago

I stopped doing it. Was too difficult to get up. God I'm old.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

One of my first jobs was cleaning toilets in a bowling alley and I’m pretty sure this is what women do in the toilet. Anything to avoid touching that seat.

I’m a woman and I’ve never understood it.

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[–] [email protected] 47 points 1 year ago (1 children)

That litter box should have been changed a while ago. Poor cat

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yeah unfortunately this post just makes me angry. That litter box is fucking disgusting.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

As funny as this is, I concur. Also... why were they taking a picture? Kinda concerns me that they may have intentionally pushed the box top over to tip the cat

But maybe I'm just being paranoid. Idk.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Hmm it's possible but I'd think a cat would easily be able to stay on its feet if the top was pushed off. But losing its balance and ending up like that also doesn't make sense to me.

My guess is the picture taker gave the cat some kind of jump scare (which tbf could involve pushing on the top) and had the camera ready.

Though if that is the case, the joke might be on them because that cat might look for new places to do its business now that the litter box isn't safe.

Edit: looked again at the pic and I see that this might be a box where the cat stands on top of the part that fell rather than that being like the top of a "cave" like I had at first assumed. That makes both the cases I didn't think very likely much more likely and my own guess less likely.

[–] [email protected] 41 points 1 year ago

"Politician interact with voters after election"

[–] [email protected] 34 points 1 year ago (2 children)

The plastic thing that stands upright is part of the tray and there was probably a bottom where the cat could sit so as not to get its paws wet. Probably this second bottom broke under the weight of the cat while he was peeing. The cat's owner managed to film a rare shot of the fall.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Kinda' looks like it was pushing its back backward against the plastic wall and the extra top popped off, suddenly offering no support, so the cat and the top tumbled over out the box.

Why it'd put so much weight outward is a whole damn question, though... The before picture was probably funny, too.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

You'd think that, but as serf to three felines, they just be like that.

[–] [email protected] 34 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Am I too dense to recognize that everyone is intentionally not saying:

Massive squirt from sloppy pussy (furry)

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 year ago

Most people are trying to intentionally not remember you said it

[–] [email protected] 33 points 1 year ago

This is one of the funniest things I've ever seen. I'm sick, and I might die from laughing.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 year ago

Cat-Ass-Trophy (say it fast)

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Looks like a Renaissance statue.

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago (1 children)

lemmyshitpost? More like lemmypisspost

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago

This one is acceptable for cross posting actually

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

Thanks. I just shot coke out my nose.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago

It speaks for itself, honestly.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

CHALLENGE PISSING

If you can piss 10 ft straight up and not get wet, you get a free car.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Is your opossum ok?

Also, this would belong to [email protected]

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago

This is a work of art

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

I believe he's spreading it

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago

You can title "cat" and it would be enough.Allthough very funny and a firsr for me it's also not surprising at all.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago

Weeeeeeeeeee!

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago

All hail the cat fountain

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

“Purrfection”

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago

Cool trickshot

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago

Nice phone/camera reflexes you have there. I would have fumbled this opportunity for fame and fortune.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

The world rn

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

The fountain of life

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

Midstream fall.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 year ago

Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously masterbating. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “what the fuck” and “call the police”. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image. Now there is a whole train of people calling the police together because of this one image. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

"Pissing myself laughing" MFs be like

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

I bet that smells terrific.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

Catteken-Pis

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

A good opportunity to learn about projectile motion.

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