When I first came here, this was all swamp. Everyone said I was daft to build a castle on a swamp, but I built in all the same, just to show them! It sank into the swamp. So I built a second one! And that one sank into the swamp. So I built a third! That burned down, fell over, and then sank into the swamp. But the fourth one stayed up!! And that’s what you’re going to get, Son, the strongest castle in all of ~~England~~ New Orleans!
this post was submitted on 11 Nov 2023
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urbanism
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But I don't want any of that. I'd rather just... Sing! 
This looks like a clay model or something that they'd use for a low budget movie lol
I put Zillow link in the self text but not only did I not check the dimensions carefully - I didn't check them at all. Maybe it's only five feet high!
Related?...
World's littlest skyscraper - an off the net explanation about this Texas "skyscraper".
A con artist inferred the building would be 480 feet tall but he never actually used the word "feet". It's 480 inches (12 m) tall.
I can verify it’s a full size building. It’s visible from the highway
Sounds dangerous.
"What's that? It looks like a castle."
"What?"
"There's a castle over there! Look!"
"I can't see. I'm driving."
"Just look!"
"Well... I... What the fuck is a cas—". Crash.
Looks like a late 90s computer game cutscene. 
it looks like somebody borked the UV map and it's just using the material without applying an actual texture
this is legitimately just a playset i had as a kid in australia.
i've forgotten the name but i WILL find it. it was like red vs blue knights with this exact castle
EDIT: it was the Fisher Price Great Adventures Castle. I got the colours slightly wrong, it was Gold with blue accents vs Black with red accents.
look at this shit lmao
i've forgotten the name but i WILL find it.
Please don't let me down.
peep the edit
Awesome!
But now I'm disappointed the castle doesn't come with "battle sculptures".
[Edit - I would have loved that as a kid. I loved pretend battles.]
Yup, if you replaced the fake antiques with Life-Size Lego Figures and scattered some large Lego Bricks around it could work out okay.
Wow, I'm sorry and I hope whoever had that thing built is happy with it, but that is fucking hideous
For 500 grands no less, the audacity
Ah yes, the mid-90s point-and-click game school of architecture
Are those fake windows?
This is not a castle. This is a child's drawing of a castle.
And Burger King isn't a king?
There are a weird amount of castles in Louisiana. The state capital building in Baton Rouge used to be a castle actually.
I had a literature professor tell me the south had a weird medieval Europe fixation for a while after the civil war. He compared it to the cowboy movie fixation of the 1950s, or how in Europe for a while every play was about pirates. Louisiana was really into that author Walter Scott for a while. Another professor I had linked the medieval knights literature to how southern capitalists and slave owners saw themselves as romantic style aristocrats.
I had a literature professor tell me the south had a weird medieval Europe fixation for a while after the civil war.
after all, the KKK larped as knights
My professor brought up that Mark Twain would make fun of that cultural trend occasionally. Twain probably thought the same, that racists were using a cartoon version of Europe as an aesthetic. Like the steamboat that crashes is the Walter Scott, a prominent medieval romance author who Twain really hated. The entirety of Twain's book "A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court" is a guy from 1889 ends up in feudal England and basically clowns on the concept of monarchy and chivalry so hard he makes England into a republic. Then the Catholic church tries to kill him.
Honestly typing that out I forgot just how cool Mark Twain actually was. American mythology has tried to smooth over how vocally anti-racist he was too. He even called himself an anti-imperialist one time
holy shit, he ruled. I forgot this quote was him.
Sometimes I post castle(-related) buildings in this comm not because I look for them but because "shitty architecture" Twitter accounts have them. For example a castle-related excrescence I posted once that looked like a low poly castle. I assumed the New Orleans castle was the same. Just another rando's dream.
The state capital building in Baton Rouge used to be a castle actually... the south had a weird medieval Europe fixation
That's news to me.
---
Ninja edit
I looked into this one you've posted. I think originally it was meant to be some kind of attraction for the 1984 World's Fair that was held in Louisiana that year. Can't figure out why or what purpose it served though.
when mom can't afford LEGO so you have to settle for the Mega Bloks playset
Gotta admit, I got a soft spot for these cartooney fantasy aesthetics. It's very "Princess Bride-core".
needs a moat
Wait a few years.
lol yup, climate change
The Louisiana wetlands are also just straight up eroding.
I genuinely thought it was a shitty CGI at first
this thing is so funny. you can see it from the interstate when leaving new orleans on I-10.
here is a closer up shot that shows how it is right on the edge of the lake in the marsh. i bet it has flooded so many times. it has been there for many years, also, i don't know why the zillow listing says it was built in 2023, unless they tore it down and re-built it the same after a flood or something.
Men only want one thing and it's disgusting.
Just saying I would totally live in a castle. I get stone is super expensive, but that's why many lesser nobility lived in wooden ones.
edit: the thing that really makes this look like a toy is that seam along the ground. Why does it look like you could rock it back and forth by pushing on it?
wooden ones.
That looks like something I'd build in Valheim as a starting base lmao.
It’s near the abandoned Six Flags
"near"
New Orleans East is so goddamn big it is bonkers that you can basically have one foot in Slidell and still technically be in New Orleans.