Ask Lemmy

Ask yourself some questions about the situation, and give yourself honest answers.

• Can I do anything about it right now?
• Might I be able to do something about it when I’m better?
• Could I spend some time thinking of potential temporary solutions while I wait, instead of spending that time worrying?
• Is it happening now, or do I have time to come up with something?
• If I think I can’t do anything about it, does worrying help the situation or make it worse?

These are sample questions. Ask yourself about specific concerns that worry you. Sometimes, the responses will require follow-up questions. Point is to end pointless worrying and start looking at the problem logically and realistically, without the emotion clouding your thinking.

I feel you. I've had struggled with worrying a lot, too. Biggest insight for me was that worries are first of all just fantasies about the future. Start asking yourself more often: "what if everything goes well?" Instead of "what if everything goes wrong?". Realize, in the realm of fantasies those two questions are equals. Your mom said that she thinks the engine sounded funny. And that's it for all we know. Maybe she even just misheard. Also, start tackling real problems that may arise step by step. Stringing along worries before they have even arrived is of course paralyzing because fantasies are endless. You often will realize that all those "follow up" problems you fantasized about will never arise because you are very well capable of solving the real problems right away. Friends and family will love to help you if you ask.

one way that works for some is to trick your mind by schedule your worrying to a time and date in the future and tell yourself you will handle it then. this gives you a "solution" for your mind to stop worrying about it now, as you have a plan to do it later..

worked for me quite a few times actually..

good luck, and hope you get it sorted eventually either way.

Not with a broken leg and ankle but I've been overcome before by situations like this. I know there's a lot of advice in here already to manage the anxiety, but here's a few things you can actually do:

1. Make a list. Write down everything that needs to be taken care of. Pets, bills, work, rent, school work...just write down everything that comes to mind. Write down deadlines and where you are going to come short.

2. If you are not on heavy pain meds, start communicating. There's a good chance that some deadlines can be pushed back, work can find you extra hours, friends and family can spot you. Even creditors may be willing to help. You have a situation that is entirely provable with hospital records.

3. Depending on your life situation, you may be able to find government resources, charity groups, etc. Just by calling around you could find a connection inadvertently that can help. I found pro bono legal services once when an someone tried to sue me because a charity group i called knew someone from another group.

4. Adjust your list and prioritize what needs to be done first. I think just putting things down on paper/word doc takes a lot of burden off your mind. You know you won't forget what needs to be done and it helps to have all the info in front of you when you need to communicate.

5. Sudoku. Optional, but highly advocate that or some kind of problem solving game.

Good luck to you, friend. Speedy recovery.

Read current articles about climate change.

Spend some time meditating. Doesn't matter what meditation practice you start with, really. (You may develop preferences later, but for right at the beginning, just try one. And if you're overwhelmed with options, I'd recommend starting with a noting practice. Just watch what arises in your awareness without judging, holding onto it, or pushing it away. "Itch", "thought", "emotion", "breathing", "mental image", etc. If multiple things are in your awareness, just pick one. Set a timer when you start and do the meditation practice until it goes off. Start with 10 minute sessions. (If that's too much, try 5 minutes.) Also, it can be done in any relatively comfortable bodily position.

I haven't seen it mentioned in the sections I've scrolled.

First, there's some great advice already out there. What I'll add: breathing exercises, especially box breathing. That, with meditation, has helped me. That can be Headapace, Calm, YouTube, and more. I've found the voice and timbre of the speaker matters to me and changes how well it works.

My wife likes some people, I like others. And that's okay.

The breathing and meditation never immediately helped until I'd learned how to transition to a more "present" frame of mind, but they helped me build the pathway/shortcut.

Stay strong and we're pulling for you.

I don’t really have any advice for you, but I hope your surgery goes well and you start feeling better soon. I’m sending good vibes your way!

Distractions. Keep your laptop handy. Not a gamer? Now's a fantastic time to start. :-)

In your situation, any worries about the car can be pushed back for at least a few months, so just make a calendar note to check on whether there's anything wrong with it, then put it aside for now. With minimal driving it's not getting worse, and may be nothing at all.

Follow all @backachu's good advice, with this addition:

You have surgery tomorrow, so prioritize rest right now. Instead of thinking you have to hold onto everything, once you've written your list set aside several hours to let go of everything and rest. Something creeps back in your mind? Push it out. Repeat to yourself: "For my best outcome in surgery I need to be well rested. If possible I need to sleep. Resting is the most important thing I can be doing with my time right now." If you can't, don't beat yourself up about it, treat yourself with the kindness you would show a friend. But if you can, it will help you react better to anesthesia and heal faster if you don't go in depleted.

Counseling can be done on a phone. I would suggest this over advice from internet randos.

Only worry about what you can change right now in this moment. Everything else is irrelevant. Take on your challenges one at a time and communicate as much as possible with everyone around you. Most people you encounter want to help you if you just have the courage to ask for help.

I was hit by 2 cars riding to work on a bicycle 2/26/14. In a nutshell, I had a broken neck and back. This is the best advice I can give.

Your car is probably low on oil, just needs new spark plugs, or the battery needs replacing. You need a good shade tree mechanic that is honest or a friend that is into cars or was. If you know anyone that worked on their own project car and did motor stuff on their own, that is the person to talk to first. I was that kind of person. I can tell what is wrong with a car just by hearing it, or at most, driving a short distance. There are lots of people like me that want to help you too.

If your car drives, and it's not really old, you probably don't have to buy a whole new car to deal with whatever issue is making it "sound funny". Maybe there's nothing wrong at all, your mom just thinks it sounds funny cuz she's not used to driving it? I just feel like, if the car actually goes, it's unlikely to be anything catastrophic.

Do you have pain meds? I think that will help reduce the stress on you, cuz constant pain can make everything seem worse than it is. I also wonder if you have any anxiety meds? If not, I can recommend CBD/CBN for a very gentle calming effect, and It doesn't make you all high. Maybe you can talk your Mom into getting you some.

I'm sorry you're hurt. Do you have anyone that can come hang out with you? Seems like being in pain and stuck alone can make things seem worse too. I wish I could help you more to feel better. Good luck!

Lexapro?

“ I used to work in a sheet metal factory, but then, a job came along at the tannery. The hours were better, and I would get paid. Also I would get the chance to work with leather both before and after it was on the cow, which had always been a dream of mine. I didn’t want to give up my sheet metal job, so I tried to do both jobs and finish middle school.”

“How old were you?”

“Eleven. The point is, I was so tired I tried to punch through 8 gauge aluminum with a leather awl.” laughs

“Wow.”

“I learned a lesson. Never half ass two things. Whole ass one thing. So if you want to win that seat-“

“Which I do.”

“Then commit yourself 100%. Take a sabbatical.”

I’ve tried making lists, but they end up becoming a problem when it comes time to pick one thing to focus on. Eventually you just need to whole ass one thing.

And it turns out that’s the opposite of anxiety, for me at least. The opposite of anxiety isn’t calm, or peace - it’s focus. My advice would be to focus, on one or two things at a time.

Right now, you’re laid up in bed. Your body is hard at work on healing, so give your mind a break - try watching something that makes you laugh. Focus on laughing, and finding joy in these quiet moments. You have a perfect excuse to take some time for yourself. Drink lots of fluids (beer is a very good fluid). Eat good food. Get good sleep. Focus on that.

In no particular order, I would recommend watching the Office, Parks and Rec, the Good Place, Community, Wilfred, Adventures of Todd Margaret, Last Man On Earth, Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency, What We Do In The Shadows, or Our Flag Means Death

Take care of yourself and ankle. Everything else will work itself out

reading? I'm guessing you have a phone or a laptop now (else how would you post). lots of good, free books available on the internet.

regarding the car - used car prices are still pretty high, if you decide to sell it then the sooner the better. maybe look into getting an ebike or scooter as a replacement.

It's been a few days, how ya doing?

Breathe more slowly. You need to make the exhalation as long as you possibly can.

How did you break your ankle?