this post was submitted on 06 Oct 2023
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When I’m unhappy, I feel like I’m doing life wrong. I’d rather be happy. But is happiness the point of life, or is there more to it? If I pursue happiness, mine first then for those around me, is that selfish? But if there’s a bigger purpose, then what about people with Alzheimer’s or dementia who can’t recall recent experiences or make plans?

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[–] [email protected] 57 points 1 year ago

There is no purpose in life. Like others have said, the fact that we're all here and life exists at all is entirely an incredible accident. As that's the case, how could we have any inherent purpose?

The endless pursuit of a purpose can actually make you more unhappy.

[–] [email protected] 53 points 1 year ago (5 children)

I'm a big fan of positive nihilism. Everything has occurred by random chance and there are no inherent truths or any purpose to anything. Nothing we do actually matters in the grand scheme of the universe. So, since nothing matters, I am free to exhert my free will and give value to what I choose.

I want to live a life where my perspective is, on the whole, a positive, happy one, and I want to create as many opportunities for others to do the same as possible. I do not want to tolerate those that use their freedom to steal the freedom of others or who seek pleasure at the pain and cost of others. I want to utilize my freedom to seek pleasure and joy and bring pleasure and joy to others without causing pain and suffer.

Nothing matters, so choose the life you want. There is no right or wrong way to live.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (2 children)

This seems eminently reasonable. But why do you choose joy over suffering? Clearly you value one over the other and expect others to feel the same. If we all agree, doesn’t that make it right (for us)? And why do we plant trees that we’ll never get to sit under?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

I don't expect others to feel the same. I have chosen to give value to one over the other simply because I would prefer a world where we collaborate towards collective happiness, joy, and pleasure. I suspect many others believe that working towards the prosperity of the collective will hamper their ability to find personal prosperity, and I simply think they are wrong. I think such a case boils down to chasing momentary pleasure over long-lasting pleasure, because that is my experience with such people.

In a way I believe in tangible karma; those who work to bring pleasure to those around them are occasionally taken advantage of, but more often are given pleasure in turn. Likewise, I've never met a self-centered asshole who isn't consistantly overcome with unhappiness, while almost universally blaming that unhappiness on external factors.

I plant trees I will never get to sit under because I appreciate those before me who did the same. Again, that is no more than what I have chosen to give value to.

But this is a bit of a digression. The reality is these are the wisdoms of my experiences, and I wager there's no universal truths in them. Nothing matters, so I look to these experiences and see that a co-operative, collaborative life looks more pleasurable. So I strive towards one, encourage others to do the same, and refuse to tolerate those that would actively work to steal happiness from others. Yes, I am aware that the inverse is equally true - why is it wrong to steal happiness from others if nothing matters - but this perspective is simply not the one I have chosen to place value on. Arbitrary? Sure. It still represents the best way I've found to enjoy life.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

I don’t think there’s a purpose, really; to put purpose or duty to a sense of joy is to try to quantify it, to package it - and since everyone is different, and perceives things differently, then that means joy takes just as many different forms and can’t be packaged so neatly.

I think life in every sense is more chaotic than that, and that randomization of cells or events or emotions can’t and shouldn’t be whittled down into some universal experience or explanation. Making something your “purpose” immediately brings with it a certain expectation - it almost makes it sound as if you’re trying to be happy out of duty, which seems…weird.

I don’t think you’re failing at life if you’re unhappy. Everyone has low or weak points, and that inevitably changes in some form of another. That’s one of the universals, a product of events and living situations and hormonal/genetic makeup. Sometimes people can have all their needs cater to and still your brain will fuck you over.

So I’d ask yourself why you’re looking for a purpose in the first place. It makes sense if there’s some goal you want to attain; and if that goal is happiness, it’d be best to think about some actions you could do to obtain it. If you’re not looking for that goal and just asking why people seem to pursue happiness, then the best answer I can give you is: why not? Suffering feels bad and I don’t wanna feel bad.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Wow you have just summed up my outlook on life perfectly, thank you

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[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 year ago

There is no objective purpose to life. Some funny long molecules mashed into eachother a few billion years ago. Scientifically there is no evidence of cosmic purpose to anything.

It's your life. You get to decide what to do with it.

There are some goals which are generally considered to be nobel. Make the world a better place, for example... but that's a far cry from an absolute definition of purpose.

I'd refrain from thinking about a purpose and instead think of your values. Then, if you want, establish goals that align with your values.

Being happy could be a goal for you , but that's not the same as a purpose.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

This seems very simple, but I think it holds a lot of truth. Sometimes I’d rather walk in the rain listening to sad songs. And that’s okay.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

I think it really is your choice what you value in life. I think it's important to acknowledge that we only have a limited time here and none of us know how much, so make sure you decide what's important to you and act on that to the best of your ability.

It's also fine to change the things you value over time too. Maybe you don't value your own happiness much now, but that could change later and that's alright. I think happiness is important though because it has a compounding effect on many areas of your life, so it's ok to be sad but if it's impacting your life a lot or over a long period of time it could be worth doing something about it.

Or not, it's up to you.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago

Life IS the purpose. If you're alive, you're already fulfilling your purpose whether you are aware of it or not.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (7 children)

There's no purpose. Do whatever you will do. There was never another option.

Hey, it could be worse. There's no failing per se and this is neutral (rather than hostile) towards whatever personal goal you make up.

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago (3 children)

The only objective purpose in life is to spread your genes. You share that same purpose with every other living thing.

Other than that, it's up to you. My purpose in life is to keep my girlfriend happy and destroy as many jobs as I can. My career in industrial automation is the key to both.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

The only objective purpose in life is to spread your genes.

Not even that. It's not like you've failed at life if you don't have kids. You just haven't spread your genetic information. Saying that its your purpose to spread them implies it's the genes purpose to be spread. Genes simply are, they don't have a purpose just like you don't; evolution has just given organisms behaviors and mechanisms that make it very likely that they will be regardless of that lack of purpose.

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

The only objective purpose in life is to spread your genes. You share that same purpose with every other living thing.

That's not my purpose; it's my genes' purpose.

(Similarly, any one of my somatic cells could "decide" to "pursue the goal" of spreading its own genes instead of cooperating with the other tissues and organs around it. We call that "cancer".)

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Just my luck, the only objective purpose in life doesn't work as a gay guy. I'm going to try the destroying jobs thing instead.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

You can still pass on your memes!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

If society is an organism, you're a somatic cell rather than a germ cell. You're an important part of multicellular life!

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I personally think the purpose of life is to reproduce. Everything we are is just because it made us better at surviving and multiplying. We are merely animals.

I dont think we need to have kids just because that's what we exist for. We're intelligent enough to go against our basic instincts if we wish. In that optic, we all need to find our own purpose!

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

We yearn for answers to why we're here, there's a reason religion has been such a huge part of there human consciousness for so long, our brains are hard wired to find reasons for everything.

Since there is no known objective answer to this question, I'll answer it subjectively, recognizing that my life experiences have tainted my views.

Life has no purpose. People who do immense "evil" will not be punished. People who do immense "good" will not be rewarded.

Your existence is a beautiful, flighty phenomenon. You are a heap of octillions of atoms that somehow gained self awareness. Your happiness is merely a chemical exchange in your skull meat, it's fine to strive for happiness but it's fleeting.

I personally strive for serenity, accepting reality for what it is and making peace with it. Nothing matters, we're all going to lose the gift of consciousness through inevitable death, and that's okay.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I’m meat with electricity in it, and somehow I know this. I’m using my finger meats to send your meat a message it can absorb and which will cause your meat to react in a certain way.

What. The. Fuck.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The purpose of human life is to continue the species. Everything else is a detail.

Many people look for meaning, which varies wildly from person to person. I don't consider it wise to try to find One True Meaning, but instead to connect with what you consider meaningful.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago

Life is just a bunch of chemical processes. There's no more purpose to it than to meat rotting or wood burning.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

There is no purpose to life. It’s all arbitrary. Life is whatever you make it to be.

Unless you’re physically incapable just about everything in life is a choice, including happiness and the pursuit of it.

Our biggest hurdle is our own mind.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (2 children)

The purpose of life isn’t clearly defined. That’s up to you, if being happy is a goal you want then go for it. My purpose in life is just to sustain my existence. That’s it. I work so I can pay to live and eat. And in my free time I do hobbies and things I like to entertain myself. Am I happy? I dunno, but I’m still here. That’s the best I can do. This life is all we have so might as well keep it going as long as you can.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

There is no objective, defined purpose to life. People assign meaning and purpose to their life. Some people's purpose is to live in the way that their religion asks them to, some want a legacy so their purpose is to leave their mark on the world, some people live to help others, some live to be happy, some live to experience the world, some live until they die and that's it.

I'm no life coach, and I don't know you. I can't know if you're selfish or not, and I don't think there's a bigger purpose. If you want the 2 cents of some random guy on the internet, try to live in whatever way brings you the fewest regrets. Everything can be taken to an extreme (even happiness), and there's a tradeoff to everything.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

There's not a single "42" comment here... I am disappointed

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I've always felt that life's purpose should be pursuit of knowledge and self expression in roughly equal proportions. So 50% science, 50% art. That's just what feels right in my brain, I guess.

I think most brains are just going to have their own idea of what life's purpose should be and most of them will be more or less fine. A majority will have said purposes stifled by the limitations of society and biology, though

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

A very philosophical question, so I'm going to ramble a bit:

I think there cannot be an objective purpose to anything, because any purpose can only go so far. E g. if the purpose of life is to be happy, then what is the purpose of being happy? And what is the purpose of that purpose, and so on? It never ends, there will never be a final answer giving everything before it objective purpose, because that is not how purpose works.

Purpose is a human concept, designed to structure our lives and to help us come up with sub-tasks for bigger goals. And it only really works if we fill in the final goal by saying "because I want that, for whatever reason". For many someone else fills in that goal and we just follow it, maybe feeling a little empty inside.

So I think the real question is, how do you find that final answer, and the only thing I can think of is: Whatever feels right to you. And right doesn't have to be happy, right means true to yourself imo. If you had a nice day then it might mean happy, but if you had a shitty day then it might mean seeking comfort or some distraction.

The one thing that can make this very difficult is having expectations about what you should be or feel, and those expectations not matching up with your subjective reality. We all have them, from our upbringing, our peers and experiences, and they can often be very subtle and subconscious. But they are only useful if they help you find your true self imo, otherwise they can be very misleading and painful.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

The purpose of life (imo) is to discover humanity in yourself and what "the best human" means to you. People get their ideas on "the best human" from many inspired examples. The Buddha, Mohammed the Prophet, Jesus of Nazareth, Julius Caesar, or Jimmy Buffet. Some people need no such idols and can form their own understanding of what it means to be human, but all of these scale.

Your humanity plays into the identity of your family, plays into the identity of your city/town, plays into the identity of your region, plays into the identity of your nation, and at the top is the true meaning of life: the culmination of every dream and desire, the moral fabric of our species, and the embodiment of the only such entity in existence to our knowledge. The purpose of life is to find that, reconcile with it, and use the wisdom you gain in doing so to help shape our species into a happy, healthy, and mature civilization, or die trying.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I urge you to look into Buddhism. Not as a religion to do ritualistic shit but as a philosophy, as Buddha intended. The only purpose of Buddhism is to address what you're feeling right now.

Also check this video out. https://youtu.be/pBnH99Mqop4?si=rFGRX_sd9bibUF3f

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

You might be surprised to hear that I've explored Buddhism somewhat, and I think it has helped. I went from worrying that I'm not good enough and I'm not achieving enough, to just accepting who and what I am. I feel that's been positive. The video you linked sums it up nicely. I enjoy the book Who ordered this truckload of dung? : inspiring stories for welcoming life's difficulties by Ajahn Brahm (https://archive.org/details/whoorderedthistr0000ajah).

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

LOL no. Happiness is an emotion, just like anger or sadness.

As for the purpose of life, there isn't one. Or if you're a philosophical nihilist, there isn't an inherent meaning to life, so it's up to each individual to come up with their own.

IMO try not to overthink it. Death still comes one to a customer so you might as well enjoy yourself while making the world a better (or at least not worse) place if you can.

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

The purpose of life is what you make it.

Society in my area says the purpose of life is to get a job, get married, and have some kids. All of these are optional but each one increases your perceived value to the government and to individual people. Some people work their entire lives conforming to societies expectations for them and still live what they would describe as unfulfilling lives.

Instead, or in addition to, I would suggest you focus on creating your own purpose. I would describe a purpose as a overarching objective for your life. I'll list some purposes that you could adopt.

  • Provide companionship for those who you deem deserving.
  • Care for others by providing a stable living environment.
  • Guide people to make informed choices.
  • Help others to use their resources wisely.
  • Inspire peers to think about their purpose in life.
  • Join and help an organized group that has an overarching purpose you want to contribute towards.
  • Entertain other people and yourself.
  • Make something you can share with others.
  • Organize others to help achieve a shared purpose.
  • Form your own opinions on how life should be lived and apply them.

These are a small sampling of purposes people adopt and you need not limit yourself to one. However be mindful that your attention is limited and each purpose can take a considerable amount of time. With that in mind try to pick goals and activities that help you achieve your purpose(s).

In pursuing your purpose, you will find moments of happiness. Embrace them. You will also find moments of frustration and anger. Understand why you feel this way and learn to embrace them as well. Understand when your emotions are clouding your judgement and learn to resist it when necessary.

Happy travels.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

The meaning of life is a blank page. Good luck filling it out!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Purpose is merely a human construct. Please don't take this post too seriously. 🫠

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

I'd like my purpose to be to have many experiences and to embrace.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

I think it kind of depends on how you define 'happy'. I do believe that if life has any point, it is to be happy. It's definitely harder than it sounds, and the path is usually long and differs from person to person.

I have spent a long time doing things I thought would make me happy. Often they did, in the short term, but not in the long term. Sometimes what makes me happy changes!

You can also intentionally change what makes you happy. Try new things, develop new habits. Maybe it's exercise, maybe it's feeding hungry people or political organizing. Maybe it's a hobby group.

It's your life, do what you want with it.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

This is quite the existential question! Of course, there’s really no “right” or “wrong” answer, and there are so many different ideas on what the meaning of life is.

My opinion? There isn’t one. The fact we exist at all is a wildly random event, and the fact we are conscious of it even more so. Life is meaningless, so we create our own meaning. For me, the meaning of life is to strive for happiness (not BE happy, we can’t be happy 100% of the time), bring happiness to those around me, and leave the world better than I came into it. I don’t give a shit about legacy, since I won’t be around to enjoy it. The only legacy I care about is that I made life better for the people I love.

Treat others with kindness, be mindful of the world you live in, and do more of what makes you happy.

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I'd first ask you to define happiness.

Temporary pleasures will always be fleeting, unreliable, and fraught with danger. Drugs and alcohol feel great in the moment, for example. So does eating junk food and watching TV. But we all know the problems with these things.

Is happiness the pleasure brought by fulfilling hobbies? That's probably a little more productive, but also will never be continuous. And often, if you try to make that your entire life, it loses its joy. The recreation is often the joyful part.

Personally for me, my interactions with patients and being able to use my intellect to help people medically is so deeply satisfying that I'm motivated to go to work despite there being so many things to hate about my job. So that's an interesting wrinkle on the idea of happiness.

I'm not really trying to get at an answer here. We just had a whole meditation retreat at my church about this exact topic: What is the purpose of life? But maybe some ideas to help you clarify your own thoughts about the subject.

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Because of tripping on shrooms, I had a long think about the meaning of life. The following is from a comment I posted in another thread about the meaning of life:

I understood that "the meaning of life" was less about me or my species or even my entire planet and more about the universe, which I would describe as not just humbling, but an epiphany of ego death on a scale I'd never considered. I was searching for the meaning of life, and was initially disappointed to not find one, and then understood that the meaning isn't for me or us. We are merely a tool; a function.

Life is something that happened because it was possible, and it's been allowed to continue because it's expediting the natural process of masses and energies. All life absorbs matter and energy, breaking them down faster than they otherwise would. We're achieving entropy. Humans are especially good at this, burning material for heat, moving quickly over long distance, dreaming of escaping to other worlds to burn material elsewhere. With interstellar travel, we could be an entropic plague. The heat death of the universe gets a little closer every time we breathe or eat or drive our silly cars or fuck. Everything we do is fulfilling our purpose, so there's really no wrong way to live, and I find an awful lot of comfort in that.

The new Zelda game is fun, and playing it is my meaning of life this week.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

The purpose of each person's life is for them to define.

It's not something that is assigned to you, and it doesn't have to be the same as anyone else's purpose.

And it can change over time as your experiences and circumstances mold the person you are.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (3 children)

That's a pretty high bar. In fact exaggerated focus on "am I happy" can sort of fuck you up. Focusing on what you appreciate is supposed to be better and make you happier. The cliché is "the meaning of life is to give life meaning" which is disgustingly Hallmark, but still has a fair point. Just do whatever - a good idea is to not get too existential if you can avoid it.

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

My purpose in life is to be happy. My primary challenge in life is to find the things in life that make me happy and try to find ways that those things can make other people happy.

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