this post was submitted on 06 Oct 2023
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Asklemmy
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I'd first ask you to define happiness.
Temporary pleasures will always be fleeting, unreliable, and fraught with danger. Drugs and alcohol feel great in the moment, for example. So does eating junk food and watching TV. But we all know the problems with these things.
Is happiness the pleasure brought by fulfilling hobbies? That's probably a little more productive, but also will never be continuous. And often, if you try to make that your entire life, it loses its joy. The recreation is often the joyful part.
Personally for me, my interactions with patients and being able to use my intellect to help people medically is so deeply satisfying that I'm motivated to go to work despite there being so many things to hate about my job. So that's an interesting wrinkle on the idea of happiness.
I'm not really trying to get at an answer here. We just had a whole meditation retreat at my church about this exact topic: What is the purpose of life? But maybe some ideas to help you clarify your own thoughts about the subject.
The church I was raised in also makes a distinction between real happiness and temporary pleasure. I reject that idea. You’re right that drugs and alcohol can have negative side-effects or long-term effects. TV doesn’t, it’s just wasted time. But that makes me think that you’re saying: no, happiness isn’t the point, being productive is more important.
Are you willing to share: what’s your purpose?
Oh definitely and 1000% would never say that productivity is the purpose of life. That perspective is so disgusting, in my opinion. The interactions I have with my patients that bring such satisfaction are the exact opposite of "productive" and frequently put me at odds with the goals of the corporation I have no choice but to work for.
Probably, for me, I'd say my purpose is to lift up people around me. To help them find the ways they are strong and support them through the ways they are weak. Sometimes the only thing I can really do to help someone in the moment is make them laugh, so I try to do that. Sometimes I just sit with them while they cry. Being a nurse just happens to be a profession where I can do this and also receive a paycheck, so it works for me.
I like to picture the world as a scale of good things and bad things. I can't fix all the bad things, but I can add weight to the side of the good things every day. Put one more thing on the good side of the scale and tilt the world in that direction however minutely. I won't tip the whole scale by myself, but my efforts combined with all the other people in the world doing good things that I don't even know about certainly will, even if I personally don't get to witness that tilting.
And that last paragraph is pretty key, in my opinion. Imagination is a fundamental ability of human beings and what we believe about ourselves and the world affects us more than anything external to ourselves. And the way we imagine ourselves and the world is always inherently within our control. So I think part of "what we do" in life is to create meaning.