this post was submitted on 10 May 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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top 25 comments
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[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 minutes ago

Upgrade my liver, stay drunk for the next 3 years and 9 months.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 minutes ago

My stamina is shit so lungs.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 hour ago

my skin, i think the one organ that protects all the other organs is long overdue for an upgrade

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 hours ago* (last edited 2 hours ago) (1 children)

Having a bigger dick is overrated. Great for fantasy, but very impractical.

I'd upgrade my lungs to be better filters and oxygenate my blood. My immune system to fight diseases my efficiently (turn it into a scalpel rather than a cluster-nuke). My brain to retain it's learning capabilities well into my later years. Completely overhaul my metabolism so that I won't have to do heavy exercise to get good muscles (really, all that exercise just exists to make one chemical reaction happen).

After that, then, only then, might I consider doing something with my dick. Though perhaps more with my balls, so I can just switch off the reproductive capabilities to ensure safe sex.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

It said one organ, you went on a shopping spree haha.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 hours ago

Hey, flesh is weak! :V

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 hours ago

I already have a big cock. So I would choose a bigger cock.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 hours ago

Sinuses. Those fuckers are overdue for an upgrade. Can you imagine never being congested again?

Brain is the right answer but sinuses are #2.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 hour ago

My bones.

Also I checked, bones are an organ.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 hours ago (5 children)

My brain, i hate being neurodivergent it'd be so great to just fOCUSSS

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 hours ago* (last edited 31 minutes ago) (1 children)

It's funny, there's a local TV program where people can anonymously ask adults and kids with various handicaps questions they wouldn't dare ask them directly and "would you rather not have it" is always one of them. The adults always dodge the question by saying that it's not as bad as it seems and so on and then the kids always reply like you did "I would much rather not have any issues!"

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 hours ago

The adults: I learned to live with it and now it became part of my identity

The kids: this sucks! everyone's mean to me and the world makes no sense!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 hours ago

I'd upgrade the depression away from my brain and give myself the ability for hyperfocus at will and to turn off sensory issues. Taking the autism and ADHD away altogether would leave me a different human, idk that almost feels like dying a little bit, or being lobotomized. Wouldn't want to lose a part of my brain that makes me me. But super valid to want to be neurotypical!

Thinking about it, if it counts as an organ, idk if I wouldn't rather change my immune system to stop attacking healthy tissue and get better at attacking viruses instead. Tough choice.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 hours ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 36 minutes ago

When a monkey's paw's last wish is spent, you have a monkey's fist.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 hours ago

The only upgrade I want is to be able to control the hyperfocus

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 hours ago* (last edited 2 hours ago)

Me too with brain, I hate not being able to socialize.

[–] [email protected] 48 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

Banger post. Deaf community goes hard

[–] [email protected] 21 points 5 hours ago

Sorry, can't hear you over my massive dong.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

Can I just say “my immune system”? That’d prevent all kinds of diseases and make you cancer proof!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 hours ago

not an organ and having a stronger immune system would kill you

[–] [email protected] 28 points 6 hours ago (2 children)

Gosh, only thing I can think of is self-repairing telomeres.

Everything else is perfect, might as well live for hundreds of years.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 hours ago* (last edited 51 minutes ago)

Everything else is perfect? You don't have joints?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 hours ago

I wouldn't be optimistic, something else may break

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 hours ago

Deafinitly one of the choices