this post was submitted on 21 Apr 2025
106 points (90.8% liked)

Ask Lemmy

31354 readers
2522 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions


Rules: (interactive)


1) Be nice and; have funDoxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them


2) All posts must end with a '?'This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?


3) No spamPlease do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.


4) NSFW is okay, within reasonJust remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either [email protected] or [email protected]. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].


5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email [email protected]. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.


6) No US Politics.
Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try [email protected] or [email protected]


Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Tech Support

No Stupid Questions

You Should Know

Reddit

Jokes

Ask Ouija


Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu


founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

I'm going with Danny Devito! That fuck would straighten out the church. He got good morals. He just a nice guy. What about you?

top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 38 points 1 week ago (3 children)

I thought the crowd favorite would've been Luigi, though I have no idea what the requirements are for being elected Pope.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Be male Be a roman catholic Get enough cardinals to vote for you

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 week ago

So you're saying Luigi has a chance?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

For each of these requirements there's at least one Pope who didn't meet them.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago

Dang I might have to change my vote

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago

I'd vote for him

[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 week ago

Vermin Supreme.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 week ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Satan. I'm pretty sure he would greatly increase the morality and the accountability in the Catholic Church.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)

If nothing else he would send all the pedo preists to hell.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago

Accountability.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I think we should reelect Francis.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

We just gotta set up one of those WH40K Golden thrones for him!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Guarantee they have something that's already halfway there tucked in a warehouse.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago

No no no. You aren't allowed to elect dead popes, just prosecute them.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 week ago

The pope goes by AD&D druid rules. The new pope is the guy who killed the previous pope.

So it's J D Vance.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Last one was on the liberal side. Expect a hardcore, gay hating conservative this time.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 week ago

I had read that Francis appointed 80% of the Cardinals who pick the new Pope. So it's possible that the new Pope will have similar views to Francis.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)

The Gang Bankrupts The Vatican

theme song

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 week ago

The pope elections always last long cause every man always votes for himself. Just like the pirate king of brethren court

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Trump! Make Trump the new Pope. That would be hilarious!

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Do you think that is why JD Nonce was in the Vatican? To force the Pope into announcing Trump as his successor?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I heard he was there to kill him. Hence his death shortly after.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

All the pope had to do to live was say thank you, but he didn't.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Cue Musk with his lottery for votes.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I'd vote for Elon Musk as Popeking of Catholicism.

The same way Elon "improved" Twitter and the US Government, I would love it if he did the same for the Catholics.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Elon can't be trusted with a literal sovereign nation, but I guess between The Vatican and US... What's he gonna do with it, harbor predators?

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago

Adam Savage

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Yeah Danny sounds good. Or Jack Black would pope the hell out of that Vatican, literally.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago

Screw it, I'll be the pope if that means I can release the records on their pedo priest protection program.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago (2 children)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago (2 children)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

"You're the pope?? I didn't vote for you..."

  • Benjamin Franklin, probably. Or whoever it was that said "Not everything quoted on the internet is real"

Honestly I don't care (well, beyond making this ~~pope~~ post), as I am not catholic. I am technically a protestant by heritage, but the truth is that I find even the term "agnostic" to be too religiously loaded to the point where I usually refer to myself as areligious instead.

As for the pope. Well, he's... there.. well, not right now. But he will be soon-ish. I'll just accept whoevers named announced while venting smoke from the cardinal thunderdome as being the new pope. And then he'll be there again.

Beyond that, he doesn't affect my life in any way. Nor do I affect his life in any way. Unless he accepts my challenge to an offroad and uphill car race. Yes, he's gonna have to drive the popemobile himself for this. I'll be driving my new AWD Lolvo. I'm sure it'll be fun for anyone involved, no matter who wins.

But having said all of that: I think Robbie Coltrane would do well as a pope.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I vote for whomever Francis had on mind (hopefully he discussed that before passing).

There's little chance of getting someone as decent as him.

[–] boomzilla 4 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Yes he had one candidate, if I understand correctly: Luis Antonio Tagle. He has a vision of a church adjacent to the poor and the working population in general though he seems regressive on LGBTQ. But going by the sign of times, it'll probably be Raymond Burke. I suppose Vance visited the Vatikan to pave his way.

Personally I concur Danny DeVito would totally be the man for the job. He would gonna get real weird with it and he certainly doesn't diddle kids.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I'm votin' fer yours truly. I'd make a kick-ass pope. 😤

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago

John Oliver

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Lucien Greaves

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago

Deadmau5.

The tapes of some of these Catholic hymns are getting kinda worn- let's get some fresh beats to liven things up. And a laser lightshow in St Peter's Basilica would help appeal to the "hip youths" ensuring a continued Catholic hegemony for the next century.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago

Gilbert Gottfried

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

The guy who's already two thirds pope. Popeye of course! Popeye for Popey!

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

I'm thinkin' Father Guido Sarducci will come outta nowhere and sprint to the win.

load more comments
view more: next ›