this post was submitted on 19 Apr 2025
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so, a while ago, i broke up with my ex (19f) and i decided things would be better as friends and that i only saw her that way.

she told everyone we got back together and that i was her bf. she also told me “i still love you, but i think it’s wrong to cheat” because i got a gf since we broke up.

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[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 week ago

the friends plan not working, need to stop hanging out if possible

[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 week ago

Don't just block her, make your stance crystal clear.

"We are not together. I am in another relationship. I understand you have feelings for me but it is not mutual. I feel that being friends is not going to work either. Goodbye." would be an example.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 week ago

You gotta break up with her again. Don't be friends, she's not able to handle "friendship". Even if people are staying friends they should take a few months apart to let things settle.

[–] RagnarokOnline 13 points 1 week ago

Unfortunately, there are times where there’s no way to “be liked by everyone” and “have healthy boundaries”. Now is the time to be firm with boundaries.

Wishing you luck

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 week ago

“I’m not cheating. We broke up. Your next boyfriend will be glad that you think cheating is wrong, though.”

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I hope you don’t have a pet rabbit…

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago

I'd start by telling her.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

Yeah, this unfortunately can only be addressed by fully blocking her in every way you can. Phone, social media, everything. Never agree to see/meet her in person even in public. If you run into her in person, say only that you're no longer in a relationship and then walk away and ignore her entirely.

[–] [email protected] -1 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Yea, this is why I think the "remain friends" think makes no sense.

You broke for reasons, seems those reasons would preclude wanting to be friends.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I have quite a few friends who are former lovers.

The things that make good friends don't always make for the best lovers. It's almost like we have two different words there for a reason.

For OP, your problem isn't friends/lovers. It's that when you broke up you weren't sufficiently firm on post-breakup boundaries.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Hard to pin the blame on OP without more context. She could just be possessive and trying to gaslight her way back into a relationship

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago