this post was submitted on 18 Apr 2025
212 points (94.9% liked)

Asklemmy

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[โ€“] [email protected] 122 points 6 days ago (1 children)
[โ€“] [email protected] 20 points 6 days ago (6 children)

Dying is not a task, dying is a condition

[โ€“] [email protected] 64 points 6 days ago

Not with that attitude

[โ€“] [email protected] 16 points 6 days ago

Well, it can be both.

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[โ€“] [email protected] 80 points 6 days ago (2 children)

Iโ€™d be the best at powershell. Unfortunately I wouldnโ€™t live very long.

[โ€“] [email protected] 14 points 5 days ago (2 children)

I find the powershell method gives me hemorrhoids, I much prefer the gentler three shells method.

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[โ€“] [email protected] 33 points 5 days ago (5 children)
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[โ€“] [email protected] 37 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Excel, it wouldn't be useful but I'd still be great at it.

[โ€“] [email protected] 10 points 5 days ago (6 children)

Great! I got a random Excel question. Sometimes when I pull reports at work the format for the price changes. Instead of showing the $ and the correct amount of spaces after the cent sign like .00, it has no $ and many digits after the cent sign like .000000000000000.

Now when I try to change the cell format back to currency, accounting, text, or anything it keeps the same format and amount of digital after the cent sign. The work around I found is to open up a different Excel doc type it in the correct format and then copy and paste over the incorrect formatted cell.

Do you can a better answer or did I explain horribly and your as confused as me when I try to fix Excel?

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[โ€“] [email protected] 8 points 4 days ago

Dying, mostly.

[โ€“] [email protected] 55 points 6 days ago

Yelling yabadabadoo and sliding down that dinosaur

[โ€“] [email protected] 17 points 5 days ago

Iโ€™m pretty good at thinking outside the box and innovating, so Iโ€™d probably just die.

[โ€“] [email protected] 40 points 6 days ago (2 children)

I know how to make rope, among other things, as an eagle scout, and I have some experience with atatl so, probably dying of fever at 14.

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[โ€“] [email protected] 6 points 4 days ago (3 children)

Navigation and being the first to try a cool looking mushroom and findout how dead I get.

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[โ€“] [email protected] 6 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

Oh! I'm actually somewhat decent with some useful things. I got sent to a wilderness school for fuck up kids when I was a teen. So I know how to, and have applied a lot of survival stuff.

I know how to effectively make a somewhat permanent shelter. I can make and use a bow drill to make fire, and along the same principal but with much more effort and time I could make fire with hand drill or fire plough techniques. I know how to make basic traps. I can make cordage, and have very, very very basic tracking skills. I know some edible and toxic plants in my area (not exhaustive by any means). I know how to clean and dress game. There's a lot of other stuff, but those popped into my head immediately.

It's been a long time since I've done all this, but the knowledge and know-how is all there. I'd actually be a decent person to have around!

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[โ€“] [email protected] 17 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I'm a natural at shooting a traditional bow.
I know every edible plant in my area, and some that get you high.
I can find north without a compass, day and night.
I can make a fire from things I can gather in the woods.
I know how to safely fell a tree, split logs and build a shelter with hand tools.
I know how to act around most predators and have experience handling a spear.

I think I'd do reasonably well.
Sometimes I wish I was born in the stone age. My ADHD is completely gone whenever I'm in the wild.

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[โ€“] [email protected] 16 points 5 days ago (1 children)
[โ€“] [email protected] 12 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I came here to write Dying, but 7 other people had already done that.

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Yeah I typed my comment then scrolled and realized Iโ€™m extremely unoriginal:)

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 3 days ago

Cavemen would have just rolled their eyes when people died back then. Like, pffft, everybody does that.

[โ€“] [email protected] 31 points 6 days ago (7 children)

I'd probably be something of a builder/ "engineer."

I'm not actually an engineer, but I have a knack for utilizing what I have around me or simple enough objects to serve other goals. I suppose I'm what people used to call a Macgyver or "mechanically inclined."

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[โ€“] [email protected] 5 points 4 days ago

I think excel would be good software for managing hunter rotations, supplies and stone inventory.

[โ€“] [email protected] 25 points 6 days ago (7 children)
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[โ€“] [email protected] 6 points 4 days ago

Time travel, evidently.

[โ€“] [email protected] 18 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

I would invent God so others would do all the hunting and gathering for me while I partied in the cave basement drawing on the walls.

[โ€“] [email protected] 8 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Is that Marjorie Trailer Greene?

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[โ€“] [email protected] 21 points 6 days ago (4 children)

With or without my current knowledge?

Because I'm pretty sure I could smelt Iron with what I know, and a year or two of experimentation. So the answer would be "ending the stone age".

Without? I dunno, maybe building traps and snares.

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[โ€“] [email protected] 18 points 5 days ago (1 children)
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[โ€“] [email protected] 12 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Just by knowing how to wash my hands, medicine. Up until 20th century.

[โ€“] [email protected] 8 points 5 days ago (5 children)

Wash the wound with soapy water, apply cloth that has been boiled. Yeah that should have a better survival rate than most of human history.

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[โ€“] [email protected] 18 points 6 days ago

Poison Sommelier.

[โ€“] [email protected] 10 points 5 days ago (3 children)

Either making elaborate traps and contraptions out of sticks and stones.

Or brain surgery.

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[โ€“] [email protected] 9 points 5 days ago

Starvation.

[โ€“] [email protected] 3 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Our ancestors measured time to keep track of the breeding seasons of their prey as to not exterminate the local populations... so most likely for that

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[โ€“] [email protected] 6 points 5 days ago

Dogs seem to like me so maybe I'd be one of the first to domesticate dogs. I'd probably just live with dogs.

[โ€“] [email protected] 12 points 5 days ago

Dying quickly

[โ€“] [email protected] 12 points 5 days ago

drawing dongs everywhere

[โ€“] [email protected] 14 points 6 days ago (3 children)
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[โ€“] [email protected] 10 points 5 days ago (2 children)

I wouldnโ€™t survive long with my poor eyesight. Maybe Iโ€™d create tools or something. Love tinkering.

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[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

Honestly if I had my current level of knowledge, probably hygene. Teach them to make soap (animal fat and a source of base like ash), wash their hands, keep poop away from potable water sources, stuff like that.

Remember, it literally took until Victorian times to figure out that washing your hands prevents disease.

Also, math. Teach them how to do basic arithmetic, how to use a unit of measurement to figure out how big something is, stuff we'd learn in elementary school but weren't rigorously developed until the Ancient Greek age.

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 4 days ago

Soap is super important, as for math - I'm guessing it's going to need to be geometry based before they can grok irrational numbers, or hell, symbolic notation in general

[โ€“] [email protected] 6 points 5 days ago (1 children)
[โ€“] [email protected] 4 points 4 days ago (2 children)

While I believe you, dear nutsack, take a minute and think about the whole process of sucking dick before showers were a thing.

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[โ€“] [email protected] 3 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Counting and therefore distributing spoils fairly. I would become a well-loved chief and would probably get laid more than I currently do, although the hairy partners may not be of my liking.

[โ€“] [email protected] 3 points 4 days ago

eh beauty is relative and you'd get used to it. It sounds like you'd be the village sandwich maker, and yes I can imagine that being a very prestigious position

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 4 days ago

Mandatory I'd have died more than once, but I suspect I would have been good at mental things like tracking and storytelling. I'd probably suck at everything else, too.

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