the freest nation to ever exist

No one actually believes this, right?

WHAT ABOUT MY FUCKING EGG PRICES YOU GERIATRIC FUCK?!?!

Dammit!

I said this as a joke nearly a month ago on Discord.

Now they're just trying to distract us from the actual dangerous shit they're doing behind the scenes. Don't fall for it!

Truly this will make eggs cheaper

Trump given power

No, he hasn't. Congress hasn't passed it -- it's just been introduced as a bill.

One House Representative introduced it and then released the statement.

Oh my fucking God. Holy sweet fucking Lord in heaven. Jesus fucking Christ. I'm already done.

Red, White, and Blueland

Does this mean France, and Russia, and every other country with those colors in their flags also have claims to that land?

Every other country should unanimously vote to call the USA something stupid since apparently countries can just rename other countries

identified the purchase of what is now Greenland as a national security priority

This is no joke and he’s going to start taking land. He’s serious about Canada too.

Fuck everyone in advance who buys the security angle.

Nazi shit shined with a US flag and it’s ok with the USA.

Cool. Just renamed my apartment "The REAL United States of America". Every room is now a new state. The guest bathroom is obviously "New Ohio". There. See how much that lowered egg prices?

Red + Blue = Purple + White = .. Lilac?

Lilacland?

The geopolitical fanfiction writes itself. Renaming Greenland like some corporate rebrand desperate to distract from melting assets – national security theater now starring spray-painted glaciers. The cognitive contortions needed to frame territorial karaoke as "strategic expansion" would earn Olympic gold in mental gymnastics.

They've upgraded from labeling dissenters "anti-American" to legislating cartographic fanfic. Six-month bureaucratic deadlines for rewriting maps? Peak legislative productivity achieved while infrastructure crumbles and healthcare implodes. At least the Sharpie industry thrives.

Denmark's diplomatic eye-roll echoes through the performative patriotism. Soft power evolves into PowerPoint jingoism – why address rising seas when you can rename them? The real climate action? Mandating all future hurricanes adopt surnames from Founding Fathers. Priorities, people.

This has to be ragebait cover for something else, right?

Like even the dimmest, least self aware, MAGA-hat-wearing dumbass would feel embarrassed to say "Red, White, and Blueland" out loud.

Right???

I'm fairly certain this is real news and not a parody.

Edit: Yes it is: https://buddycarter.house.gov/news/documentsingle.aspx?DocumentID=15398

This government is stupider and more childish than any TikTok challenge to date... combined

The EU should come together and rename USA as "Lalaland". Since that's apparently a thing countries do now?

This rhetoric is terrifying. Look at that speech. That's getting stoned on your own farts and getting them preemptively fresh speech. That's the sort of way literally only cultists and fascist governments speak. That's a dprk ass comment.

You know how the germans act when we talk about Hitler?! That will be americans in the future. Like WHAT THE FUCK?

It's been less than a month since he's been in office and this is a visual representation on how I feel about the whole thing...

I feel so bad for Americans having to put up with this.

Oh look it's the United States Congress version of shitposting.

This is worse than some parodies

I don't know why they need a bill for this. Apparently the President can just sign an executive order renaming geographical features, and everyone just had to go along with it.

I fully expected Trump to drag America in a farcical dictatorship if he was reelected.

I just expected it to take longer.

God damn it, this is the prequel to Idiocracy isn't it? Is this just a simulation so an A I. can generate a movie for someone? This is my far the dumbest thing I have ever heard a politician doing as a legit political act. All we're missing is a, 'brought to you by Carl Jr's' attached to the bill.

This is what our elected representatives believe is important. This is what they are wasting our tax dollars on. Burn it all down.

Ok, I don't support these clowns, and I hate that this is the way the public is finding out, but isn't it nice that people are starting to truly see how incapable, incompetent, and corrupt our elected leaders have always been?

In other news, Republicans vote to turn Congress into giant MAGA circle jerk.

there's no way we're not living in a simulation. it fucking sucks. Please, somebody delete me right now I don't want to play anymore 😭

This "buddy" is so nose deep up Trumps ass that he just climbed out of his mouth