this post was submitted on 26 Jun 2023
434 points (98.2% liked)

Programmer Humor

19725 readers
58 users here now

Welcome to Programmer Humor!

This is a place where you can post jokes, memes, humor, etc. related to programming!

For sharing awful code theres also Programming Horror.

Rules

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 43 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I wish I had a cubicle and not the open office.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Open office layouts are absolutely terrible. Why more places haven't figured that out, I'll never know.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Those who make the decision still have a full blown office with real walls and a door so won't be negatively affected. It's mostly pushed because the open office idea is cheaper and allows managers to see butts in seats. Studies show it's a bad idea but people talk about collaboration and whatnot as an excuse.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

In my experience "collaboration" means talking about basically anything except work. How some idiot on the executive floor got the idea that we all just walk around spontaneously gabbing about ways to make them more money is beyond me. Much of the corporate world is dedicated to mindless churn and professional time wasting.

The more an organization pushes the whole "in office", "collaboration", "water cooler conversations" narrative, the more professional time wasters they have on their payroll. When the only metrics you have are butts in seats, you can't see how little work you're actually getting for your money.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The research has been available since at least 2008 that open office floor plans are detrimental to productivity

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

since at least

yup, Peopleware is from 1987

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

You don't love being watched by everyone in your workplace? /s

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I guess it's not even the watching - I really don't care about it. It would be nice to have fewer distractions from people walking by, chatting nearby, chatting to me, etc.

[–] Stef_ 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

add "flex workspaces" and every day you come to the office you have to search 15mins for a new spot to sit at

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

That would truly be horrendous. I happen to like what I do and hate wasting time on trivial shit like this.

[–] asyncrosaurus 7 points 1 year ago

It's not the watching. It's the entitlement people feel that they can talk/disrupt to you at any time, even if you have your headphones on and are clearly focused.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Who would imagine that. I’d much prefer a cubicle over an open office. Open offices are much cheaper to make so they try to sell us some bullshit to make it seem the best way forward.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

This is where this scene from Office Space makes the otherwise on point movie quite old https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wNai8OYhdxA

When I rewatched it a month ago I was shaking my head that he would by himself create a open office when he had such a nice cubical.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Pretty sure he just wanted to be able to look out yhe window.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

Why do people write ads like that anyway? That just sounds intimidating. I'm pretty good at what I do, but I'm not built to do it in some sort of reality show tournament.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago

I try to figure out the true meaning behind the buzzwords. Like this tells me they don’t plan ahead and try to spin chaos as excitement

[–] lightsecond 1 points 1 year ago

Maybe they want to be seen that way?

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 year ago

Translation: "Our project management sucks, and everything is on fire."

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 year ago (3 children)

At least you have a nice Coffee Room, lot of space

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

Still better than advertised. At least I get to try almond water.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

It should be scp 294

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

technically, yes

Milton behind his desk in the basement

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I wish cubicles were a thing. Hotdesking sucks balls.

[–] Phoenix 16 points 1 year ago (2 children)

The real mystery is when they want five years of experience for the tech that's been out for three.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

There should really be more engineers moving to into HR. Like, there's got to be shitty coders out there that would make great HR managers because they know (or can learn) what Diesel is and why 10 years of experience is unrealistic.

[–] balder1993 2 points 1 year ago

That isn’t necessary if HR consult engineers first.

[–] jvisick 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You know how some jobs are one year of experience for three years in a row? Just do the opposite of that.

[–] Phoenix 2 points 1 year ago

Ah, the hyperbolic timechamber of job experience.

[–] bsdGuy0 14 points 1 year ago

The environment is deceptive. It is only when you turn on the computer, when the hostility will creep up like a bird on steroids, waiting to peck at you for seemingly a century ahead.

[–] DeVoid 11 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Corporate accounts payable, Nina speaking. JUST a moment.

Corporate accounts payable, Nina speaking. JUST a moment.

Corporate accounts payable, Nina speaking. JUST a moment.

[–] charlybones 4 points 1 year ago

As years go by, this movie gets more accurate, and it's starting to feel like a horror film because of how similar it is to my daily work life.

[–] lasagna 7 points 1 year ago

They're talking about the project management side of it.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I saw someone downvoted it, but it's funny because it's true.

[–] jsalvador 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Maybe you will be taking your torches after reading this, but I wish I can work in a place like this. I want my space, not having to listen to people I don't like near me.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

This is superior to any open office layout, but I would reposition the desk so my back wasn’t to the entrance

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You guys are getting cubicles?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

We can meet you halfway. The walls will go up about 6 inches above the table. We find this increases synergy and collaboration. On an unrelated note most of our office workers were headphones and are reluctant to talk as it disturbs the entire office.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Synergy and collaboration translates to annoying coworkers who blurt out every thought and question that pops into their head

[–] learningduck 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I see people wanting cubicle, but I can't imagine myself working in a cubicle for an extended period of time. The sense of loneliness and claustrophobic.

Think a 2 people semi open cubicle is the most I can endure.

Heck, I can't even work in my own office room in my house and have to move to the living room.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago

I don't get my social need filled at work. It's not where my friends are.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

But you also have an included work phone.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

A, yes :( and a boss that comes every few hours and just stares and asks how come you're not done. Except online on a chat.

load more comments
view more: next ›