this post was submitted on 02 Dec 2024
543 points (96.1% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

27003 readers
3827 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 hours ago

No se rick parece falso

[–] [email protected] 0 points 9 hours ago

I hope not, Im married...

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 day ago

Oh daisy, yet another year has come and gone and yet another year you lie to me. Your words of encouragement are only gonna work like 3 to 4 more times max then I'm giving uo

[–] [email protected] 64 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Umm...I think my wife's going to be upset when she learns I'm getting a girlfriend...

[–] [email protected] 3 points 21 hours ago

Get a boyfriend instead. Problem solved. 🤷‍♂️

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Let her get a boyfriend and maybe it'll all work out?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 day ago

Or let her get a girlfriend and you get a boyfriend

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Arguably it does, just not the way the person who suggests it expects it to.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 hours ago

A host of r/relationships posts absolutely support that assertion!

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I got a girlfriend in 2023

The experience was mid.

She's cool and we still hang out sometimes but being in a relationship kinda sucked and I'm glad we reloaded the friend save state.

I'm just not cut out for being someone's only partner.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Exclusivity in a romantic relationship is a social construct. Look into ENM. It might not fit you or it just might.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I do believe I'd love being a small part of a polycule...!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago

Nothing wrong with being solo poly. Also nothing wrong with choosing to be single for those who prefer it.

Personally I hated monogamy but also I’m happiest married, and so I’m very grateful to have found someone who feels the same as me.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago

Just preparing for the future

[–] [email protected] 97 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Hope my wife doesn't mind.

[–] [email protected] 35 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Not to mention GFs '15 - '24.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 days ago

Valentine's Day set to bankrupt me this year

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Joke's on you. I'm gay (and still single ;-;).

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 day ago

That's okay. The GF actually stands for gayfriend.

[–] [email protected] 48 points 2 days ago (3 children)

Joke's on you, I got married in two of those years.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Damn, sorry to hear you lost your girlfriend

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 days ago (4 children)
load more comments (4 replies)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago

Same lmfao 2016 (mid at best) and 2024 (extra good)

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago

I'm waitinggggg

[–] [email protected] 42 points 2 days ago (6 children)

Bro, I'm trying. I work all the time and online dating sucks butt. I think I've been on every dating app there is at least twice over the past 7 years with zero success. Like, I know I'm an introvert but it shouldn't be that hard. Especially when everyone and their mom tells me how great of a dude I am.

I think my problem is that I'm just not built for online dating. My last girlfriend and I met through fucking Reddit of all places... They should make a dating app for introverts where there are no pictures until you match with someone. Because I'm sure I'm not the only introvert that cannot for the life them take a good picture of themselves.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 2 days ago (10 children)

Introvert here. I met my now introvert wife at speed dating.

If you haven't done it before, you are in a room (usually a rented out restaurant so its just for this event) with lots of tables. At each table is a woman. As a man, you are directed to sit at a specific numbered table where there is a woman seated (all the other men do the same to the individual table they are directed to). A bell rings. You have 5 minutes to talk to each other and learn as much as you can about each other. After 5 minutes, the bell rings, and the woman stay seated, and the man moves to the next higher numbered table. You have a card with the woman's name on it and you should REALLY make notes, because you won't remember which things you thought with each person. The women do the same with their cards.

In under 2 hours each person now talked to 14-18 potential mates. At the end of the night you go online and mark which of the women you're interested in hearing more from. If any of the women you mark also mark you on their side, you're given an in-app communications channel and you can choose to share personal contact information from there.

When you're sitting at the table talking with a woman sometimes it seems like that bell rings as soon as you sit down and you wish you had more time. Those are the ones you mark on your card to talk more with. Sometimes, you're 1 minute in and you're dreading waiting though the next 4 min. Those you do not mark.

I'd recommend you give Speed Dating a try.

load more comments (10 replies)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 days ago

Like, I'm in that position too, except I have a touch of the 'tism to go along with it. Not so much that I can't function, but enough to the point that socializing is exhausting. I get nothing but bots when I try online dating, and going out mostly just results in people asking me why I'm always just standing in a corner by myself.

Really, I just need a wingman, but I don't know anybody who would be willing or able to do it; my brother and both of my closest friends live an hour-and-a-half away and my BIL has very young kids.

I'm at a point where I'm not sure if it's ever gonna happen.

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] [email protected] 32 points 2 days ago (3 children)

I'm too fucked up for an SO. There's a song lyric that goes "How's anyone else gonna love you, if you don't love you too" and like, yeah. Way too full of self hatred to be appealing to anyone.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago

Same, unfortunately. ;-;

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Same. I know my red flags, you don't. If I were a used car I'd strongly recommend against getting it.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 days ago

No, see, the real red flags are the ones you aren't aware of yet.

Those are the ones I'm frightened of. Like there's just this itty-bit of something just waiting for the right bump to break and cut my brake lines while I'm on the highway.

I don't know what it is, but I know it's there, so I gotta be self-critical until I find the piece to fix!

At the very least I can tell you my job isn't in sales.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 days ago

at least you are self aware enough to potentially fix this self hatred you have for yourself. people go on their entire lives living like this, its a vicious cycle. good luck!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

To the other dudes still like me searching for a meaningful relationship, if you haven't discovered yet there's a huge part that makes it easier. Become friends first, then date. If you force right into intimacy there's no relationship developed. It's not like HighSchool anymore unfortunately, persistence is key but know when to move on.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 days ago (2 children)

I appreciate the confidence, but girlfriends require time. While it would be cool and could be helpful to have that extra support around, all I can do is provide money and dick.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Jokes on you, my sex doll is already on the way, be here before Christmas.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Did you get the kind that can also make dinner? Wait, am I thinking of a microwave?

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago

~~2025~~ ~~2026~~ ~~2100~~ ~~2525~~ ~~3000~~ ~~10000~~ ??????

load more comments
view more: next ›