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She herself stated money was the main reason, and he knows it but it doesn’t bother him.
Well both you and your daughter are honest people and so is her husband. That's a pretty good foundation for a healthy relationship imo. Good knows people have married with worse :>
Do you trust your daughter judgment? If so, trust her even when you may disagree.
If she is happy with the guy (reading your other comments, that seems to be the case) and since this mariage will give her the means to do all she wants and not worry too much. Imho, wishing them both the best seems the best thing to do :)
Seems like a win/win for them.
You'll both have lots of time to get used to the idea. Sorry to hear that your daughter turned into a gold digger marrying out of financial convinence instead of love. Its kind of unsavory and understandable why its causing some cognitive dissonance. But well thats the kind of thing our society incentivises and she's an adult who can make her own choices. Its hard to judge too hard. Hope the husband is alright personality wise and even if this is dark to say, you can take some solice in that statistically speaking its probably not going to last too long and she will probably inherit some assets. If it all burns down it will be a hard but good lesson in not being with people just to extract value out of them.
Honestly, she's choosing (I'm assuming) to not have to work, get a free house to live in, and be set for the rest of her life after this dude dies. Those are the 2 biggest stressors in anyone's life right now. I'd be a liar if I hadn't thought about pursuing a cougar in my younger years for the same reasons. If she's fine with it, and he's not abusive, let her do her thing. Sure, it's frowned upon, and she'll be called a gold digger, etc. but that's her cross to bear, and she seems fine with it.
Pretty well, I got a rich kid.
Based on all the replies this seems both are getting what they want out of it, so I don't see an issue. Not every marriage needs to be a love match, but it does seem like there is some of that, so even better.
I do understand your moral reservations as it seems a bit cynical, but in the end it's her life and she and any kids they might have are basically set for life.
It may become complicated if some day she does fall in love and if it's with someone else. She may be faced with hard choices if this happens.
Money is freedom. It feels a bit icky to attach your love life to that, but your daughter just unlocked a better life-in-general than most of us can have -any- hope for.
She weighed her options and made a decision. More power to her ...literally in this case.
Please encourage her to use that power for good.
It's certainly an odd situation to behold, and the thought of getting with someone twice my age makes me feel gross, but they're both legally adults and appear to be happy with the arrangement, so I guess there isn't all that much to do but wish her the best and get used to the new son-in-law.
Having said that, 65 isn't all that old for an OAP, so I hope for both their sakes that there is more to it than her being just his sugar baby - I can't imagine decades of loveless marriage to be good for anyone.
Smart kid
Depends, if my 35 year old marries a 65 year old then I chalk it up to different life goals and preferences for consenting adults and enjoy the lavish wedding.
If my 18 year old marries anyone over the age of lets say... 21? I start talking about power imbalances, finical abuse and grooming non-stop until they are divorced. Honestly, even if their spouse was a reasonable age, I would do my very best to talk ANY 18 year old out of marriage.
There can be power imbalances even if they're both the same age.
Doesn't seem like anyone is being hurt in this situation, so, really, the only thing to do is stay out of it. Getting involved and trying to change things will only make things harder for everyone.
It would be weird if he wasn't wealthy. If he can't follow the "half your age plus 7" rule that's a sign of immaturity. Good luck for all of you.
No, it wouldn't be weird, it's her decision. And the rule in general just seems immature for adults.
It's the male's decision too. He gets more leniency because he has money. Him special.
True, it's his decision as well making it mutual.
Mutually consensual, absolutely of course! Just like any service one performs in exchange for money, like bus driving, prostitution, and marriage.
Good for you kiddo. Not that I have kids, but hey if it gets ya ahead and/or happy, go for it. As long as said kid is a consenting adult. Otherwise it's cop time.
Money is a motive like any motive. If I was a mom and my kid agreed to it, that's up to them.
If she was in it for honest love, then I'd be more accepting of what you're describing. I'm less put off by the age gap and more put off by the marrying for money part. This happens all the time, and it's one of the many reasons I hate capitalism and consumerism, as it ultimately makes the choice to marry for money a "reasonable choice".
I understand that "marriage is a business contract" has been a more true statement than "marriage is a love pact" for most of human history. But that doesn't make it right. Marrying for love, IMHO is the only reason to feel good about a marriage, because ultimately that's the only actually good thing about marriage. The rest of it is theater and performance.
She's an adult, she can make all the mistakes she wants, and in our fucked up capitalist society, what your daughter is doing is considered not a mistake, but a reasonable financial decision. And that is what sickens me.
It's one of those "hate the game, not the player," situations, sadly. Cuz you can stop a single player, the game on the other hand...
