this post was submitted on 16 Nov 2024
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Showerthoughts

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People who haven't really resumed socializing at levels they used to, people who lost the capacity to regulate during interpersonal interactions, people who lost trust in others... I encounter lots of partial returners out there

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 hours ago

I miss the pandemic. Socially isolating meant I got to spend more time with my kids and extended family than I had in decades due to limited sports and other activities. And even work, while it didn't stop (luckily), provided more valance - especialy more than now.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 hours ago

When talking about people with ASD that's called unmasking and is one of the main goals of therapy.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 hours ago

I've had bad anxiety my entire life, but I never felt like I really had social anxiety before the pandemic. Now I have a hard time talking to pretty much anyone unless they talk to me first.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

We had a name before the pandemic... It's "introvert."

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

I'm more referring to people who aren't so much choosing to isolate. Not a preference, but a loss of the capacity or opportunities to socialize

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

That happens to almost anyone on a long enough timeline. You have to let yourself be uncomfortable while you rebuild those social skills.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 hours ago

Absolutely. It comes down to exposure therapy, basically. Reacclimation.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 hours ago

those left behind

[–] [email protected] 52 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 11 hours ago) (2 children)

Small rant incoming:

I'm actually still stuck inside more than in the Pandemic. Essential worker so I still went outside daily until i never got my energy back after having covid for the 5th? time.

About 3 years of doctors not really knowing how to treat it and encouraging me to keep trying what i could each day, which led to me basically destroying my body, until i got one of my countries leading experts who immediately told me to take bed rest the second i feel tired.

Since my immune system is basically gone i got a bunch of other illnesses some of which will probably never go away since the meds only alleviate the symptoms.

Upside is that I've been trialing a bunch of expirimental treatments for the specialised clinic that is opening soon, some of which had small but immediate effects. So at least those that will get diagnosed in the future don't need to wait as long hopefully.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 minutes ago

I got ME/CFS (closely related to long COVID) that first started in early 2020, so this is very relatable. As everyone was going back to normal I was getting worse. Do you mind if I ask what had a good effect? The only thing I've found that helps (other than rest and pacing) is nicotine patches for the brain fog.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 8 hours ago

I'm glad to hear you live in a country where you can get more specialized support! I hope the new treatments pan out

[–] [email protected] 131 points 13 hours ago (6 children)

I'll be honest, the lockdowns were awesome for me. "Now you bitches get to see how I live."

And the mad increase of online ordering, no contact pickup, and how people aren't crawling up your ass in line at the grocery store anymore? I could not have hoped for better.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 hours ago

😌 It truly was the good old days when we just had a global pandemic to worry about.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 hours ago

The impostor syndrome and such are crazy though, when working remotely from my dust and cockroaches box.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 hours ago

I go out but I do most of my big shopping as delivery. I just can't bring myself to go to Walmart very often. Most of my little shopping is at dollar stores. You know, the little things we used to get at what we used to call "milk stores."

[–] [email protected] 83 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

Gods do I miss social distance lines

[–] [email protected] 34 points 12 hours ago

I miss having free time without the impending pressure to do things.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 12 hours ago* (last edited 12 hours ago) (1 children)

I'm health wise OK but my wife isn't for the rest of her life so I have to take precautions everywhere. I don't mind because I really don't like dealing with people anyway.

I do grocery pickup and go inside the store maybe four or five times a year now.

I haven't been to the inside of a restaurant in over three years, we use patios and sidewalk tables outdoors.

I specifically only ever use gas stations where you pay at the pump.

I haven't been to a mall or indoor space with people in years now.

I order everything else to my door.

I really don't miss dealing with people and now find it completely weird and disorienting to deal with people in public now.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 hours ago

now find it completely weird and disorienting to deal with people in public now.

This is what I've been hearing (and experienced). And that it's not a preference, it's more that the nervous system has struggled to recalibrate; or there was not enough opportunity for it to do so and that has led to a feedback loop

[–] [email protected] 6 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

Yeah it was certainly a net positive for some. Of course this post isn't a criticism of those that enjoyed it, or were unaffected by it. But there is a sort of lost generation group, so to speak, too. That includes younger people who feel maladroit or disconnected in a way that they tie to that period. People who already struggled to socialize and the period made it worse enough that they never recovered

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

Yeah my youngest kid was on the middle of her second school year when the lockdown started. She was so anxious around people when in person school started again. She's gotten somewhat better in the past couple years, but still not quite the same.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 hours ago

Yes some kids I know, it just sort of became how they identify: shy, more anxious

[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 hours ago

We do. It's called being Smart.

[–] [email protected] 53 points 13 hours ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 12 hours ago

I call us Happy! thank god for home office

[–] [email protected] 26 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

I think a lot of people were waiting to see the results of the election. And COVID is still very real - immunocompromised people (e.g. elderly) will need to start taking vaccines twice rather than once per year due to recent mutations (except... hrm, I dunno if RFK will "allow* such, but at least that was the most recent guidance), plus everyone could get long COVID every time they get it despite the vaccine.

The pandemic changed our world, and it's nowhere close to being over.

Also, inflation, so less disposable income to "go out" with.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 hours ago

There's no "over". Coronavirus is here to stay now, just like the flu. Thankfully it has become a lot more benign as it has mutated, and we know a lot more about it and have vaccines now, so it's pretty manageable.

[–] [email protected] 40 points 13 hours ago

During the pandemic I moved to the country, stopped using social media, and got a remote working job. I think the people who used to know me assume I'm dead.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 12 hours ago

Introverts? Really I had a pretty good time

[–] [email protected] 33 points 13 hours ago

I’m not placing trust in anyone who sold us out to corporations and fascists a second time

[–] [email protected] 15 points 12 hours ago

Lockdown was a blast! I was paid to do what I always wanted; stay home and do whatever I felt like and not worry about other people.

Now that it's over, I haven't been able to keep a steady job. I've lost all the support I built up for myself in social situations.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 12 hours ago (2 children)

My socializing during the pandemic was more or less the same as before or after the pandemic. I am very sensitive to sound, a introvert, a huge nerd and don't care for most of the topics "normal" people talk about like sport. I have no reason to go outside, I don't like to be at places with many people and I don't any knowledge in topic that can be used for smalltalk.

Due to this the biggest part of my social bubble is located all over the world and we communicate purely online. It was called lockdown but for me it was just a normal Tuesday.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

I wouldn't necessarily blame your niche interests or anything else like that. There's lots of people this applies to who just forgot how to socialize. I would put myself in that category. I like sports and many other popular things, and I used to be reasonably easy to talk to but ever since covid I'm considerably more awkward in social situations.

Someone I haven't seen in two years will ask what I've been up to and my mind just goes blank. It's not that I've been sitting at home doing nothing the whole time but for some reason none of the things I could talk about come to me in the moment. It's a strange thing to feel yourself being socially inept in a way that you didn't used to be. I've gotten better but it's still weird a lot of the time.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 hours ago

This is exactly the type of thing I was reflecting on. Have you also found yourself having a lower tolerance for stressors?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 hours ago

I am quite similar and it turns out I'm on the autistic spectrum. I was excited to discover this as it explained sooo much about myself. Just my 2 cents

[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 hours ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 hours ago

It's all the doing of Nihon Hikikomori Kyokai..!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

Maybe if we smushed the two together and made up a word? Like hikicovidomori

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 hours ago

Maybe there is a German word for it. Or that could make one up

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 hours ago

Yeah lockdown was living my best life. At least I managed to get a fully remote job with a small company several states away.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 12 hours ago

Oh hey it's me

[–] [email protected] 0 points 5 hours ago* (last edited 5 hours ago) (1 children)

Hermits

I feel like the weird one out because lockdown was absolute hell for me. I need my community and my people. I go crazy being stuck inside a small apartment with nothing to do. I'm not fully an extrovert, I do need my alone time, but I also need to be with people I love.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 hours ago

Yeah, I can tell that I get a little weird if I'm alone too long. And the time it takes is shorter since covid. I'm assuming from too much time alone during the peak period

[–] [email protected] 11 points 13 hours ago

In my particular case, it is called "working parent"

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 hours ago

Yeah. That's me. Or anyone I know, really. Sure cities are back to pre-pandemic chaos, but those are other people.

I choose to work from the office on most days. I use public transit. I go to the gym. I'm not locked in, but ...

  • after-work drinks
  • meetups
  • catch up with a friend at the pub
  • date night
  • clubs
  • partys

That's a distant past. And i don't miss it, really.

Ok, I do miss socializing, the good parts: Crack some jokes, have some small-talk, feel part oof a group of friends.

But i don't miss it enough to endure that bad parts: Forcing oneselves into conversations with strangers, "networking", drinking a beer alone in a corner of some event, going out to bar where over your overpriced drink you'll accept that you'd rather be in your living room. Bars and night clubs are a weird concept (unless you are in your twenties and really enjoy the scene): You realistically only talk the person you came with, but they can't hear what your are saying since it's loud and crowded. There may be music, but unless you came to dance, you probably have a Spotify play list you'll enjoy more. In better quality.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 hours ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 hours ago
[–] [email protected] 6 points 12 hours ago

I fucking loved it. 😁

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